Breastfeed or else

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Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.
First, just looking back at some of the replies: I never ever ever said that about anyone.

And here, just a sampling of comments, to show that although lip service is given to "breast is best" no one really believes it.

In other words, testimonials are only worthwhile if they support your side of the argument.

I have a friend who was so militant about BF, she used to say that any mother who chooses not to breastfeed is selfish and doesn't deserve to have any children.

:uhoh3:

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umm..i breastfed untill my son was two years old:eek: . was i crazy or what!!!

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Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.
How about support for those that don't breastfeed???? Sounds like a few could use it!!

Well I am not going to "support" those who choose not to breastfeed because they don't want to.

IRL I support women emotionally who can not breastfeed--I already mentioned that I worked as a breastfeeding mentor. Like I said before, one of my close friends had a 12 pound baby via C-section, she literally mourned the fact that she couldn't breastfeed, it killed her. It was a really hard time for her and when she looks back on it, it still upsets her....it upsets her that she had to have a C-sect, it upset her that her body didn't make milk for her baby, it upset her that things didn't happen the way she planned. I was there for her, sometimes the body fails us and it plain sucks. She is one of my best friends. I actually spend more time emotionally supporting women who can't breastfeed than I do with mothers who do breastfeed. Or at least in very different ways.

But what does that have to do with formula being substandard to breastmilk? Nothing. Just because my dear friend (and others out there) couldn't produce breastmilk doesn't make formula magically just as good as breastmilk. Just the way it is.

Am I supposed to feel guilty because our babies were born at about the same time and I went on to breastfeed her for 4 years while she wasn't able to breastfeed at all? It's hard ya know?

But really none of this is the point of the article....lol ;)

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Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.
umm..i breastfed untill my son was two years old:eek: . was i crazy or what!!!

LOL I guess your crazy! But I guess I am crazier in that I breastfed my youngest until she was 4!! ;)

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Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.

Girls I wanted to say I love you all! I really do. We may not all agree and some feel more passionatly about this subject that others (I know I do), but that is ok.

We SHOULD talk about this stuff! It's important I think. The world would be a better place if people could talk more (even if they are arguing) rather than walking around with resentment and anger and whatever else inside. Just think if our world leaders would talk more, even if they get pissy with each other, we might have less wars and violence.

I respect each and every one of you as mothers!! We ALL love our kids and that what really matters.

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Specializes in OB.
Just by the by, could we stop referring to breastfeeding advocates as nazis? Last I checked, I never advocated for the mass extermination of an ethnicity. I think attaching the word Nazi is somewhat offensive and there are obviously crazy people on every side of the fence.

I think what was being referred to was the way that some push breast as the ONLY way.. the "extermination" of the bottle.. their idea of "elite" feeding of a baby. I breast fed, as I stated before, but my sister did not and I saw how the OB nurses treated her, making faces, rolling their eyes, one even commented that she had to leave the room while my sister gave the baby her bottle because she couldnt stand the sight of the infant receiving "comercially made junk".

When I had to stop breastfeeding at 8 mo d/t the pain factor, I called the local LeLeche organization for HELP- I stopped cold turkey, put my daughter on a bottle and omygoodness- you talk about engorgement, I needed advice on how to deal with the pain. Instead I got a lecture on how I needed to keep nursing until my baby was at least 1, possibly 2 years old, and by no means stop!

very frustrating

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Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.
Well I am not going to "support" those who choose not to breastfeed because they don't want to.

Wow. Are you a nurse working in a postpartum or labor and delivery unit? I pity the moms you must encounter who have made such a choice (and it is their choice) when you are assigned to them.

I go out of my way to support moms who breast feed and those who bottle feed. They deserve it and they can all benefit from positioning tips, comfort measures, and all sorts of other things.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatrics.
Well I am not going to "support" those who choose not to breastfeed because they don't want to.

IRL I support women emotionally who can not breastfeed--I already mentioned that I worked as a breastfeeding mentor. Like I said before, one of my close friends had a 12 pound baby via C-section, she literally mourned the fact that she couldn't breastfeed, it killed her. It was a really hard time for her and when she looks back on it, it still upsets her....it upsets her that she had to have a C-sect, it upset her that her body didn't make milk for her baby, it upset her that things didn't happen the way she planned. I was there for her, sometimes the body fails us and it plain sucks.

Wow, that's kind of tragic. Instead of rejoicing in the birth of her healthy child(I presume it was healthy you didn't say otherwise) she allowed her joy to be tempered because she could not breastfeed? That's astounding. When I look back at the birth of my children -and both pregnancies were difficult- I feel nothing but happiness at the memories of their arrivals.

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Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.
I think what was being referred to was the way that some push breast as the ONLY way.. the "extermination" of the bottle.. their idea of "elite" feeding of a baby. I breast fed, as I stated before, but my sister did not and I saw how the OB nurses treated her, making faces, rolling their eyes, one even commented that she had to leave the room while my sister gave the baby her bottle because she couldnt stand the sight of the infant receiving "comercially made junk".

When I had to stop breastfeeding at 8 mo d/t the pain factor, I called the local LeLeche organization for HELP- I stopped cold turkey, put my daughter on a bottle and omygoodness- you talk about engorgement, I needed advice on how to deal with the pain. Instead I got a lecture on how I needed to keep nursing until my baby was at least 1, possibly 2 years old, and by no means stop!

very frustrating

Ya LLL can be like that, I actually used to do some work for them (not all groups are like this though) and they were absolutly **crazy** about it all--I think they actually did more harm than good at times, even IMO and I am pro-breast. I went on to find another LLL group that has women who part formula part breastfeed, women who work FT, women who are as hippie as you can be, women who are nursing adopted babies, it is a very diverse, real life group. LLL is supposed to support women (this is like on their website and everything!) in their breastfeeding relationship whether that be for 3 hours, 3 days, or 3 years. Some LLL groups SUCK, some are FANTASTIC.

BUt speaking of the way the nurses treated your sister reminds me of when my mom had me. Back in the 70's really no one breastfeed, Dr's told moms that formula was better than breastmilk. My mom was like screw that I am breastfeeding. She had nurses who came into her room to watch the "freak mom" (the nurses word!!) WATCH my mom and laugh at her while she breastfeed me!!! They would ask her why in the world she would breastfeed. They literally laughed at her.

Us health care professionals play a very important role in parents lives. We should explain that breastfeeding is best and the reasons why, but if the mother chooses not too, we'll it's her choice, it isn't my baby. I feel one way about vaccines quite strongly, there are people out there who feel the opposite, I might completely disagree with them, but it comes down to it being their decision, not mine. I might not respect it or like it, but oh well for me, it is not my child and I have no rights over that child.

So your sisters story and my moms story and your story with LLL do NOTHING to help women at all. Nothing at all.

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Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.
Wow, that's kind of tragic. Instead of rejoicing in the birth of her healthy child(I presume it was healthy you didn't say otherwise) she allowed her joy to be tempered because she could not breastfeed? That's astounding. When I look back at the birth of my children -and both pregnancies were difficult- I feel nothing but happiness at the memories of their arrivals.

No, it wasn't all because she couldn't breastfeed, but that was a part of it. Her child was also not healthy when he was born so it was a mix of many factors. I had a *very* traumatic birth with my first child. She almost died and I almost bleed to death. I didn't even get to see her until the next day, didn't get to hold her or nothing. When I look back on her birth I feel a lot of resentment and anger because of things the Dr's should have done, things the nurses ignored, etc that took certain things (like breastfeeding) away from me. It took me a long time to heal from that. I wasn't able to breastfeed her and I was upset with that because I knew how beneficial it was for her now and in the future, I wasn't able to take her home with me, she was very sick, when she finally came home she had horrible problems with the formula and was colicky and I in turn had really BAD PPD for over a year. I can look back *now* and be so thankful and happy that she is now healthy, but it took me a long time to get there. She is 8 years old now and I love her to death :)

Anyways, I hope that explains things a bit better.

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But no one here is calling you a failure. You have to be able to accept that, and trying to discount or suppress the information about the benefits of breastfeeding will not make that happen. You have to be able to accept yourself, that you honestly did as best as you could and then you gave your child the next best available.

Actually, that's not what you said. You listed 4 steps in feeding a baby, and formula feeding was the last choice. Therefore, in your eyes, I did not choose the next best available option.

Also, MOST people on here have not called people like me failures, but there has been a post or two that implied very strongly that we are, that we who choose not to breastfeed without a medical reason are inferior parents. Not getting your baby to latch on is not considered a medical reason, so, by that definition, I am inferior.

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The problem is, as everyone here is clearly showing: it is impossible to give the straight out facts without inducing "guilt".

No I respectfully disagree. You can give the facts and leave it up to the moms to decide. The fact that 70% of moms in the U.S. start out breastfeeding means that they are getting some of the message that breast is best. Many people don't realize what an all encompassing experience being a parent is no less a breast feeding mom who does this for 6-12 months as is reccomended. Some people can't make this committment for whatever reason. They do not have to share their reasons w/ us if they do not want to. Moms may have very demanding jobs, other kids who require lots of attention or even who are handicapped. They may be married to a very unsupportive man or not married at all. If you want to promte breastfeeding, then do some solid worthwhile research into why women do not breastfeed, rather than villifying them. Ask women in an unemotional (although issues about kids are always somewhat emotional) ordered manner through a retrospective research study why they didn't breastfeed and if they are happy w/ their choice. I think we should find out what we could do to help moms make the choice to breastfeed. You may still find some who would not choose to. We talk about being culturally sensitive all of the time. I think we are not sensitive to our own culture's attitudes toward breastfeeding because it doesn't always suit our agenda. I don't think bottlefeeding is an inherently unhealthy form of nutrition it is definitely the less healthy alternative to breastfeeding .

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