Blindsided by a colleague.

Published

Need input to this situation.

A student was sent to me with a pass that said "congestion" The student is a 5th grader that is well known to me. He strolls into the clinic smiling and laughing with another student. First impression, he seems fine with a little nasal congestion, temp 98.1. In my judgement, he was fine and I sent him back to class. Fast Forward two days, a teacher comes to me and said she received an email from this student's mother complaining about me. The email said that if her son asks to go to the nurse again that she needs to be called. She went on to say that apparently that nurse is incompetent and I don't want my child sent to her. This email was sent as a group message to all the child's teachers and the administrators. (not me)

As a school nurse, I have come to expect this behavior from a few parents every year but my problem is that this parent is a school nurse at the school down the street. She is a colleague for the same school district. I have covered her school before as she also covers mine when I'm out.

I just don't get it, why didn't she talk to me about this before she complained to everyone I work with?

She knows this job and knows the district guidelines we use to determine if a parent call is warranted. I treat every student the same. Just because a student's parent works in the school district does not mean I give them special treatment. The more I think about it the more angry I become.

I have mentioned this incident to the nursing director and she told me that this nurse is under a lot of stress right now and to let it go. She also said that if this was a valid complaint against me that she would have been notified about it from the school administrators.

We all have stress in our lives and everyone deals with it differently but I feel this is a personal attack on my nursing skills and judgement. Am I justified in feeling this way? I feel like this is something that I need to address with her on a personal basis. The more I think about it, the madder I become. What do you guys think.

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Absolutely talk to her about it. Was the kid kept home sick the next few days due to serious, afebrile congestion? I mean, come on.

I would also ask the director her to personally email your Principal and back you up.

I'm stressed, too. I have never, nor would I ever do that.

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Specializes in School nursing.

I bet after her receives a call every time her call needs to go the nurse, she will tire of that quickly and realize what she said.

We all get stressed, but seriously, this is extreme. Would she have called you for your afebrile child with mild nasal congestion? If I called every parent for a student with nasal congestion, I would be on the phone every single minute of every school day. Come on!

I have a few parents that are also school nurses, and luckily they have been so understanding. I called one of them at 2:45 (her school got out at 2, mine where her child goes still in session) and the first words she said was "I told her she shouldn't be visiting the school nurse during the last 30 minutes of the day." I wanted to hug her so much!

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

I know your boss said to let it go, but darn it, if I wouldn't be right there with you stewing over it. I get that people are under stress, but that does not give them the right to pick battles over nothing. I would be tempted to call her and ask her point blank "What the heck?" and given the info at hand how she should have expected you to handle it. If she suddenly expects that you should call her for every sniffle and paper cut that's fine, but she needs to communicate that to you.

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I would give yourself a little bit of time to call down so you are not hyper emotional. Then, I would call and ask her what she perceived as being a problem. I personally would try a little "kill her with kindness" strategy.

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Specializes in school nurse.
I would give yourself a little bit of time to call down so you are not hyper emotional. Then, I would call and ask her what she perceived as being a problem. I personally would try a little "kill her with kindness" strategy.

I agree with the first half of your statement, but not the second. This co-worker went nuclear; being super sweet is not the right response. You're only a rug if you let people walk on you...

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Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics.

I wouldn't say anything right away, I would wait as well, and then bring it up when you see her again. I am not sure why she would act like this, to me it is completely over the top, but like your supervisor said she is stressed, and maybe something is going on that she hasn't told people about yet. I don't know, I would be hurt and upset by it as well, but if he comes down again, just call her like she wants.

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Was the kid kept home sick the next few days due to serious, afebrile congestion? I mean, come on.

Oh, Far... love you! I have never heard your voice, but I can hear your voice in this :)

I agree with the first half of your statement, but not the second. This co-worker went nuclear; being super sweet is not the right response. You're only a rug if you let people walk on you...

I would agree to be assertive (as opposed to aggressive- it's a very fine line).

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Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.

I get what you're going through, I have the same issue with some parents that the child comes in, seems fine, no issues. I sent them back to class, then I get one of the admins telling me that a parent complained because I didn't call them or something in that area. It pisses me off, because I did what I'm suppose to do, your kid was fine.

I had this mom pissed because of the same issue, but the child never had a fever and just a headache, she got the fever until she got home. Mom came in later and got angry at me for this and demanded me to call her if her daughter comes. The daughter decides to come visit me every day and I call mom for everything, she came for bandaids for the teacher, or she came because she needs eye drops. Until one day mom just asked me to stop calling her for everything.

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Specializes in ED, School Nurse.

Was she more specific about what she thought was "incompetent" about your assessment?

Talk about flying off the handle! I would definitely speak with her about this using the assertive tone referred to by kidz.

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Specializes in Sub-Acute, School Nursing, Dialysis.

Oh this would completely get under my skin!! I am quite sensitive in general (postpartum emotions aside!). I'm really sorry this happened. I don't understand why she did not talk to you instead of behind your back. And she is a school nurse as well! I'm sure she doesn't call for every congested student that walks into her office. I hope this gets resolved. I would definitely talk with her.

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Specializes in school/military/OR/home health.

I find it hard to believe the excuse for this way-out-of-line behavior was "she's stressed". We are all stressed. Stress is part of life, especially the nursing life. We don't all send emails outlining how a colleague is incompetent. Did she consider how that would make you look in the eyes of all those teachers?

I guess talk to her about it, ask that she bring your perceived incompetencies to you first. Like a grown-up. And seriously consider sending an email to the teachers in her school explaining that she "is stressed" and may act crazy because of it.

Ok not really. That would be seriously passive-aggressive. But ask her how it would make her feel if you did that. And honestly, a school nurse that sees nasal congestion as a call-home issue...she's the one who might be incompetent. Just sayin'.

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