That sort of humour that seems completely funny when shared with your colleagues, you know though if an outsider was to hear it they would be completely scandalised/offended
Its happened before when I've worked with palliative patients, this queen song keeps running through my head.
We've had two palliative patients who passed today and I've had to keep giving myself some mental slaps every time I start humming it.
Anyone else find they have a black sense of humour?
You keep saying "only other healthcare professionals understand." I am a healthcare professional and I really don't
understand. BTW, I work in CC and have experience in trauma. So on that note, I wish you all the best and hope that one day you'll realize that not all "healthcare professionals" have a sense of black humor.
And that's why you never share this stuff online. Judgy MacJudge-sons and the judging. I have indeed developed a sense of gallows humor but as much as I would like to laugh with someone just to keep from crying, I would never share it with anyone I didn't personally know from the trenches because of The Judges.
My fellow trenchers and God know exactly what's going on in my head but few others do so I keep it to myself.
bluegeegoo2 stated it perfectly for me with this post:
"...can't imagine trying to shake those moments off in order to be able to perform in the next, but I do understand using humor to alleviate some of the emotional stress nursing can bestow upon us. I routinely find "humor" where there shouldn't be any. It helps. A lot. It's one of my main coping tools and allows me to move on and care for others as opposed to crying in the bathroom over a loss and being of no use to anyone."
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I just don't understand how people can judge other people's coping mechanisms.
Some people cry, drink, & other's laugh. I don't think one is worse than the other.
We as nurses should be accepting to whatever makes anyone happy. I just can't understand why any nurse would say any one way is wrong or unacceptable. If it helps someone get through their day, who's to say it's wrong (as long as it's not hurting anyone).
The patients and families don't know we aren't being compassionate. If you have such a horrible poker face that everything you are feeling bleeds out via your facial expressions, that is something you need to work on. I think I can safely say that most of us can be extremely compassionate in the rooms, flip our poker faces to the "off" setting, and go crack up somewhere else when necessary.
If I am being extremely difficult one day as a patient, I am okay with my caregivers doing whatever is necessary to deal with being assigned to me, including participating in black humor at my expense as long as it's not to my face. If they can smile and show compassion while they're in the room, that's enough to satisfy me. My ESP doesn't extend to what is said elsewhere.
When I'm in need of compassion I do believe the karmic universe will take into account the years I have spent helping migrant farmworkers manage their diabetes, helping blue babies turn pink, holding babies withdrawing from drugs, holding 300g (not a typo) babies as they die, taking footprints and pictures of dead babies for their families, and crying with those same grieving families.
Ok, everyone. Back to rainbows and hearts and unicorns with poop that sparkles.
But seriously...If my caregiver finds humor in a tense situation involving me or my care and runs off to snicker or even (gasp!) guffaw and it helps them to re-focus and provide me good care more power to them.
Its happened before when I've worked with palliative patients, this queen song keeps running through my head.
We've had two palliative patients who passed today and I've had to keep giving myself some mental slaps every time I start humming it.
Speaking about songs coming up at inopportune times, the song "Not Yet Dead" by Monty Python keeps getting stuck in my noggin when I'm working the ICU. I'm not going to post a link in case karma winds up catching up with me , but it's easily accessible on Youtube.
@lovinglife2015, as well as the other poster that finds gallows humor so very deplorable:
Compassion is the ability andthechoice to accept others' defects because I know that it's only sheer chance - luck, if you will - that I'm not exactly the same as them. It's got nothing to do with one's feelings, false solemnity (aka pomposity) or the size of the stick in one's nethers.
If gallows humor as a coping mechanism makes you wince, leave the situation in which you find it. It obviously doesn't work for you. But if you insist on admonishing those for whom it does work, then you need only glance in the mirror to see what true lack of compassion looks like.
About a year ago, I had my tubes tied at the hospital where I work.
I wrote the surgeon a note on my belly that read "Ligate tightly :) " and didn't show it to him before they wheeled me into the OR. I hope to God they had a few laughs at my expense.
Actually, I know they did, because he took a picture of it and it's in my chart. God only knows what they said while I was in Propofol Neverland. My only hope is that it was funny!
I'm quite certain that I didn't tell anyone how they should cope. Coping mechanisms are a personal and subjective experience. I did say that some of the comments reek of immaturity. My main issue was with the nurse singing "Another one bites the dust" after a death and the other nurse that couldn't stop laughing after the Peds death, sickening(in my opinion.) It's one thing to do it, but to take time to type it out and laugh amongst yourselves in spite of the family's pain is disgusting.
You can cope however you choose, I never said otherwise. I can and will comment on it however I choose. I'm not sure why many of you are under the impression that your poop doesn't stink and you're free to make any type of comment without reproach?
, but it's easily accessible on Youtube.
Twinmom06, ASN, APN
1,171 Posts
thanks for the laugh! That was quite funny!
and to the poster that said something about karma - if I die and someone rolls me over and I fart I hope they get the last laugh!