Black Humour

[Tenebrae]

That sort of humour that seems completely funny when shared with your colleagues, you know though if an outsider was to hear it they would be completely scandalised/offended

Its happened before when I've worked with palliative patients, this queen song keeps running through my head.

We've had two palliative patients who passed today and I've had to keep giving myself some mental slaps every time I start humming it.

Anyone else find they have a black sense of humour?

[Julius Seizure]

It got us both through the day, and I got a chance to flip the bird at the illness that had at one point nearly cost me both my job and my life.

This is the best. I'm glad you have made it to the bird-flipping point and are able to laugh :)

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

Actually, I have a great sense of humor! I just don't think making fun at the expense of someone's death is appropriate. I never called anyone cold-hearted or a freak but maybe somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you're wrong.

Having fun at someone dying?

Hardly. For one of them it had been a long hard struggle, a drawn out painful death in the last 24 hours, every minute was a torture for them. I'm not going to lie and say that I dont feel a great deal of relief that their struggle is over and they are no longer suffering

Black humour is not about having a laugh at someone elses expense, its that reaction that sometimes comes out with some colleagues in response to a really hard shift

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

Please understand that I never "poke fun" at the death of a patient whose life was entrusted to me as soon as they came through my doors. I take every patient death seriously, and will be as somber as a judge when discussing arrangements with the family. I understand that death is an inevitable part of life, and it's something all nurses will have to deal with regardless of their specialty. Some specialties, however, deal with it more often than others.

I'm not sure what clinical setting you work in, but in Trauma/ER/ICU, we witness the types of death no-one should have to see. The blood, the screams, the futile gasping for air through a severed trachea, the smell of burning flesh and I could go on and on. This is the type of death we see on a fairly regular basis. If we weren't able to see at least one glimpse of humor through it, the level of burnout on these units would be far greater than it already is. When I see that mangled body on the table and the despair on the faces of my team, there is no psychologist at hand to relieve that feeling of failure when the patient dies. I can't project myself onto a peaceful island to blot out the mental image of carnage.

Humor was my coping strategy with the patient I mentioned because I had to picture a happy CGI character going home instead of the bleeding mass that used to be a young healthy teen with the rest of his life in front of him not even an hour earlier. When I laugh about something ironic or unusual regarding a patient's death, it's not because it's actually funny. It's so I'm not trying to comfort the kid's mother with my teeth clenched and fighting back a wave of expletives demanding to know why it was this kid that died and not the unharmed drunk that ran him over. It's how I can move on to my next patient that just rolled in without breaking.

I'm sorry if I sound calloused or heartless. This is not the type of thing I would ever write about on facebook or other social media. Only other healthcare professionals understand. I've posted a link to an article about death and coping in the ER. Please give it a read - it may help you understand where we're coming from. I wish you all the best.

http://news.nurse.com/article/20110221/NATIONAL01/102210041/-1/frontpage#.VSp4EvldWSo

Well said

This thread was meant as a bit of humour, thanks for the buzzkill people:yes:. Says the nurse that really needs a holiday because too many more of these full on days in a row will melt her brain

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

I've been in health care for 15 years and I would never think something like this is appropriate. However, if you can't see nothing wrong with it, you'll never will until it affects your employment. Hopefully it'll never come to that but I truly believe that that type of humor is unacceptable.

I've been a registered nurse for 2 and 1/2 years, and worked in community health and mental health for a further 10-15 years. And having a gallows aense of humour has never ever ever affected my employment, because those moments when it is shared with a trusted colleagie are behind closed doors and NEVER within ear shot of a patient or their family or anyone who may not get the joke. Because as another poster said, one is careful who they share those moments with

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

When I was working in district nursing we did alot of community palliative care. My org provided the generalist care and the specialist service where the guys we contacted for help with symptom control, end of life care etc. Because we worked in areas I would work with the same CNS. We were catching up after a particularly busy time and discussing recently departed patients. The CNS said "you know if we were working in any other area, serious questions would be being asked about our survival rates"

Both of us just cracked up

[StudentXTexas]

that's the beat you do chest compressions to silly. that's all it is.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

I work hospice including peds and I'll take any kind of humor someone brings. I had a patient die and during post mortem care "only the good die young" by Billy Joel would NOT leave my head. Fighting it back did get me through the post mortem care and the rest of my shift. Better than the vodka shots the rest of my team did after work. I have a very dark sense of humor and fortunately my husband shares it so I have an outlet. I went home, told my hubby the "joke" and hugged my kids for 2 hours.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

[ATTACH]17968[/ATTACH]

I laughed really really hard at this.

Then I felt awful for laughing so hard....

OK there is Type 2 diabetes on BOTH sides of my family and BOTH sides of my husbands family. There are many missing limbs from our family trees and this is still funny as all get out. You want that sweet potato pie and rice with every meal? be prepared for the consequences stumpy. And YES I am laughing hard as I type this.

[Farawyn]

What is White Humor?

(Notice there was no "u". Tenebrae are you a Brit?)

[lovinglife2015]

Hah! Sound judgment has saved my life on quite a few occasions. I stand by it.

[CamillusRN, BSN]

What is White Humor?

Adorable cat videos, probably? Now everybody should be happy . . .

[No Stars In My Eyes]

Did any of you humbugs ever watch M*A*S*H ?, The End?, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb?, Dr StrangeLove?

Sometimes the most sane response to a tragic situation is laughter.

I had a Home Health patient, a quad at 21. I gave him a t-shirt for his birthday one year that he LOVED and wore ALL the time. It said "I am a Professional. Do not try this at home." Because he was injured at such a young age and did not go to college, he termed himself a "Professional Quad". He considered after 4 years he had a degree, a Doctorate in Quadriplegia: QhD.

It was HIS humor. He found all sorts of ways to laugh about the tragedy of his life. It made life tolerable for him. He was not a 'sicko', he was a marvel!