Black Humour

lovinglife2015 · Apr 13, 2015

I just don't understand how people can judge other people's coping mechanisms.
Some people cry, drink, & other's laugh. I don't think one is worse than the other.
We as nurses should be accepting to whatever makes anyone happy. I just can't understand why any nurse would say any one way is wrong or unacceptable. If it helps someone get through their day, who's to say it's wrong (as long as it's not hurting anyone).

And some people respect the cycle of life and meditate without the need to laugh, drink or cry.

Farawyn · Apr 13, 2015

I'm quite certain that I didn't tell anyone how they should cope. Coping mechanisms are a personal and subjective experience. I did say that some of the comments reek of immaturity. My main issue was with the nurse singing "Another one bites the dust" after a death and the other nurse that couldn't stop laughing after the Peds death, sickening(in my opinion.) It's one thing to do it, but to take time to type it out and laugh amongst yourselves in spite of the family's pain is disgusting.
You can cope however you choose, I never said otherwise. I can and will comment on it however I choose. I'm not sure why many of you are under the impression that your poop doesn't stink and you're free to make any type of comment without reproach?

My poop stinks horribly. I had homemade guac yesterday (and grilled onions!)

Tenebrae started this thread as an outlet for some of us who have to laugh instead of cry. if this is not your outlet then why are you here in this thread?

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Apr 13, 2015

And some people respect the cycle of life and meditate without the need to laugh, drink or cry.

That is just a different way to cope. Mediation is a fine way, I have tried it. It is not for me. If you enjoy mediation, great! But don't bring others down who enjoy a good laugh.

I worked at a jail & after many night shifts a lot of COs would go out for a drink. Should I go & tell them going out for a drink is wrong (even though it's the AM)? No. If it helps them cope after a long/rough shift, fine.

So if humor helps nurses cope with death, I see nothing wrong with it if it doesn't affect anyone.

My father's father passed away years ago. We didn't have a funeral or anything for him. Instead we had a party. We had friends & family over, we told stories, ate great food & at the end popped fireworks.

Why should death be sad? If my end can make people laugh then that would be great!!

ComeTogether, LPN · Apr 13, 2015

That sort of humour that seems completely funny when shared with your colleagues, you know though if an outsider was to hear it they would be completely scandalised/offended
Its happened before when I've worked with palliative patients, this queen song keeps running through my head.
We've had two palliative patients who passed today and I've had to keep giving myself some mental slaps every time I start humming it.
Anyone else find they have a black sense of humour?

This song was playing on the radio after my Nana's wake. My brother and I looked at each other and burst out laughing, because - what else was there to do? I miss her to this day.

Ok....this will only be funny to those who have seen Trading Places.....and even then, maybe not. I'm really very strange.....

I had a patient who was a double amputee and would wheel around with his coffee mug in his hand. He looked a lot like eddie murphy, and every time I would see him I would think of the scene from the movie where he is on a skateboard pretending to have no legs and asking for money. I would sing in my head "I have no legs, I have no legs...."

Something is wrong with me.

****disclaimer before I get hung out to dry: I absolutely do NOT think this man not having legs is funny, AT ALL.

ComeTogether, LPN · Apr 13, 2015

Apparently I don't know how to use AN today.

lovinglife2015 · Apr 13, 2015

That is just a different way to cope. Mediation is a fine way, I have tried it. It is not for me. If you enjoy mediation, great! But don't bring others down who enjoy a good laugh.
I worked at a jail & after many night shifts a lot of COs would go out for a drink. Should I go & tell them going out for a drink is wrong (even though it's the AM)? No. If it helps them cope after a long/rough shift, fine.
So if humor helps nurses cope with death, I see nothing wrong with it if it doesn't affect anyone.
My father's father passed away years ago. We didn't have a funeral or anything for him. Instead we had a party. We had friends & family over, we told stories, ate great food & at the end popped fireworks.
Why should death be sad? If my end can make people laugh then that would be great!!

Please. I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next person. Andrew Dice Clay, Pryor, Foxx, Carlin, Rock, are few that crack me up. I however do not feel comfortable laughing at another family's suffering/death, I draw the line there.

Don't change the subject. `Of course, at your own family members funeral it should be a celebration of the person's life --I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about some of you laughing at dead patients, probably while the family is in the hallway grieving. It's callous.

ComeTogether, LPN · Apr 13, 2015

I had the very lucky experience to help take care of the body of a toddler who was brain dead and was getting ready to have their organs donated. It was a rough night on the PICU I was assigned to (this toddler wasn't the only child who had died that night and it was overall just a big clusterfugazee of a night, I guess) and all the nurses had been singing praises of the doc who had lead them through that hellish night. He had gone off to sleep and returned about 4 hours later, as rested as could be, to do his rounds. He popped into our room and asked the nurse I was precepting with, "How's everything going?" and, without missing a beat, "Besides the pt being dead."
.......................
.......................
HAH!
I wanted to freaking die laughing but I just smiled, my nurse laughed and it helped lighten an otherwise dark day. So, yes, even as a student, I know the dark side of my sense of humor is rapidly developing. You need to laugh. It isn't unprofessional. You would drown in your own tears if you didn't laugh about this. The universe is a giant practical joke. Just laugh.

I asked a doctor about a patient we had recently transferred to the unit. He replied that she was "FTD"

I'm wracking my student brain for that abbreviation, trying to figure out what It stands for, when he recognizes the look of confusion on my face.

"What does that mean" I finally ask.

He replies "Fixin' to Die"

:bluecry1:

Farawyn · Apr 13, 2015

Please. I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next person. Andrew Dice Clay, Pryor, Foxx, Carlin, Rock, are few that crack me up. I however do not feel comfortable laughing at another family's suffering/death, I draw the line there.
Don't change the subject. `Of course, at your own family members funeral it should be a celebration of the person's life --I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about some of you laughing at dead patients, probably while the family is in the hallway grieving. It's callous.

Now I'm laughing, because in no way, shape, or form is Andrew Dice Clay funny.

ComeTogether, LPN · Apr 13, 2015

Here ya go, you twisted weirdos.

lovinglife2015 · Apr 13, 2015

Now I'm laughing, because in no way, shape, or form is Andrew Dice Clay funny.

He had his day. I thought he was the funniest thing back in the day --granted I was young.

Farawyn · Apr 13, 2015

We had a patient in the isolation room right outside the nurses' station who had no legs. He was confused and had MRSA of a wound and was calling out WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! all night long. We kept going in there to see what he wanted, and he pretended to be surprised, that he wasn't screaming.

Finally, my friend Mary, who was really dry, gets on his room intercom and says in almost a monotone: "This is the voice of God. If you don't stop yelling I am going to strike you dead."

Not a peep for the rest of the night.

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Apr 13, 2015

Please. I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next person. Andrew Dice Clay, Pryor, Foxx, Carlin, Rock, are few that crack me up. I however do not feel comfortable laughing at another family's suffering/death, I draw the line there.
Don't change the subject. `Of course, at your own family members funeral it should be a celebration of the person's life --I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about some of you laughing at dead patients, probably while the family is in the hallway grieving. It's callous.

I'm not trying to change the subject. I don't see anything callous about different ways to cope.

No one is laughing at the dead & saying "LAWLS, look at that stupid dead guy. Maybe if he wasn't so stupid he wouldn't have died!". Plus NO ONE is doing it in front of the family.

Everyone needs different ways to get through work. If not they will burn out a lot faster. If you don't approve why are you in this post?