Bizarre Co-Worker Rant!

[All4NursingRN]

We currently have had a very seasoned nurse on our cc float team for the past year who transferred from endoscopy back to the units (tele/icu float). She is a knowledgeable nurse, a bit rough around the edges (potty mouth, bossy, and a bit know it all ish) but is funny and quite helpful on the unit.

Just... one... thing

She seems to have a very odd albeit respected hang up about how to be addressed.

So she has a first and last name which both are typically used as first names (for example: Sarah,Kelly, or John, Michael, you get what I'm saying)

Our unit/hospital culture is semi-formal. We address one another mostly by last name as Ms or Mr. so and so but sometimes we also use first names or just call one another by last name without using Ms or Mr.

Well this nurse has a major Hangup about being called her last name without saying Ms. first ???

I believe because she basically has two first names some may have accidentally mixed up her first and last name and called her Kelly, thinking it is her first name as we don't work with her often because she is not regular unit staff. It doesn't happen often as like I said we are pretty formal with addressing one another.

She also doesnt make it clear that calling her "Kelly" is offensive somehow to her and so when someone makes the mistake of calling her so, she gets loud and angry and we've witnessed her saying verbatim "that is disrespectful and low class to call me "Kelly" my name is Ms. Kelly!!!!!!!

So I worked with her recently and we were having a pretty good night (her making jokes and telling her usual stories as most pts were thankfully stable) up until I called to her from down the hall asking for a spare bag of levophed she said I could borrow.

I said Ms. Kelly could I borrow that bag of levophed?. I guess she didn't hear the "Ms" part and reached in her med cart, slammed it shut and handed me the bag of medication while turning bright red and stuttering that she would write the next person up who referred to her as "Kelly" instead of Ms. Kelly??? and stormed off.

It all happened so fast before I even could figure what had happened she had picked herself up and sat at the opposite end of the nurses station and then disappeared to the tele side of the floor for a few minutes and refused to speak to me for the rest of the shift.

It it was so bizarre I had no clue what to do? I've heard her blow up about this before and am very careful to say "Ms." before her last name, but this is borderline ridiculous. She is upset that people can't read her mind and are calling her by her actual last name???

She says it's not classy to refer to her without the "Ms." yet she doesn't hesitate to use profanity when telling her stories or expressing herself and has made unsavory comments routinely. In fact she has had it out with the ADON numerous times even hanging up the phone on her over a policy issues, openly calling the manager an idiot, and being a know it all.

I'm honestly nervous to work with her because of how easily angered she became that night. I've never heard of anyone in this day and age demand ppl be so formal with them (outside the usual reasons) esp with her being quite informal and brash herself.

How bizarre and is the name Kelly offensive? Idk

[perfectbluebuildings, BSN, RN]

I live in the South and here we call everyone Ms. First Name or Mr. First Name. Pretty much anyone your same age and older for sure, and then most people you are addressing as adult figures in front of children. We teach our children that this is the proper way to address other adults. She'd really get angry with me because you are either Ms. First Name or mam or whichever comes out first.

Yes my workplace (not a hospital) is with kids. In front of the kids, we address each other or talk about each other as Mr. or Ms. [first-name]. With each other (no kids around) we address each other just by first name. It's just different unit/workplace cultures EVERYWHERE I think... I'm sorry this person has taken it quite that far a little ridiculous I think.

Also, if it helps, at least you know it's not personal; she reacts to EVERYONE that way so it's not personal against you- though it does make for a difficult work environment. I used to work with a CNA who had some weird quirks that would make her so upset for the rest of the shift, but then the next day she had forgotten all about it and was her usual self. IDK if your co-worker is like this too but I'm sorry you have to deal with it. :-(

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Too scared too, she might wreck the place if we do.

Why be scared? Let her hang herself.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

I'm a little surprised that work places like this still exist. I couldn't imagine using titles with co-workers names on a regular basis. Obviously this nurse takes the use of that title VERY seriously, way too seriously in my opinion. That being said, as long as it is the culture on that unit to address your co-workers by Mr, MRS or MS, live and live I guess.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

I live in the south and co-workers just call each other by the first name. For patients we may use the Ms or MR depending on the patient.

[tsomargotte]

There is not one nurse worth her/his oats with whom I've ever worked that didn't have some claim to being a free range nutbar. Most quirks are unimportant ones that I just blow off--like one nurse wiping down her chair and her medcart with bleach-soaked towels for at LEAST half an hour before coming on AND leaving the unit. It's really the meaty things that bother me. Like the gal who consistently giggles when caught doing something wrong--like texting her bf during a code. Another winner in this group is one who just says 'yes' no matter what you ask her. 'Yes' my patient (with agonal breathing and profuse sweating) is doing fine. So while being called 'Ms' Surname may sound starchy, I'd just go with it, and just be thankful that she's not telling you that she hung insulin instead of heparin about an hour ago--giggle. Or that, 'yes', the patient in the next bed did well all night/VSS--when you know that bed's empty; he'd been transferred to medsurg the shift before hers.

[Crush]

I'm a little surprised that work places like this still exist. I couldn't imagine using titles with co-workers names on a regular basis. Obviously this nurse takes the use of that title VERY seriously, way too seriously in my opinion. That being said, as long as it is the culture on that unit to address your co-workers by Mr, MRS or MS, live and live I guess.

We use titles and last names but I am at a military hospital. No first names, except in the breakroom and outside of work.

[wondern, ASN]

On the cart seems strange, yes...and also asking to 'borrow' it???

I'll trade you 2 Reglans for a Zantac??? Really?!

[cleback]

I think a lot of people are missing the point. It's not that she prefers to be called x or wears green socks on Tuesdays or whatever quirk it is. It's that she flis off the handle at her coworkers over them. We all have our things. We don't all explode over them.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Perhaps Ms. Kelly has anger issues, perhaps there's more lurking beneath the surface than you are aware. Either way, just call her "Ms. Kelly" and that should be fine. It's her own special bugaboo. I'm sure you have yours as well.

[wondern, ASN]

Well there is also the point that the whole thing sounds strange. Not a lot of folks are missing that.

Pull her tailfeathers aside and tell her that her behavior's inappropriate, maybe even a little frightening when she acts out that way towards you.

Or next time she's being all nasty and profane scare the **** out of her and repeat her behavior but even scarier!

Not that 2 wrongs make a right but the whole story and even the unit is strange sounding with all the formality with names yet borrowing meds from each other's carts. Doesn't it have the patient's name on it?

Anyhow I guess you have to at least try to set limits with these hothead bully types, and basically with her as a working visitor to your unit too. Hmmm, the nerve.

Tell her to get her hearing checked while she's at it!

Oh, and of course do all of the above in a most courteous, professional, respectful , non-confrontational manner, or you may end up being written up yourself.

Some managers love travelers more than their own staff. Why not?

[RNperdiem, RN]

Last names only is a bit unusual these days.

In my earliest days of nursing I did run across the occasional elderly African-American patient who always went by Mr. or Mrs. Lastname. Even socially, that is the name they were known by. My mother worked for years with a business associate who was only known as "Mr Curtis". Mr. Curtis had known the disrespect meted out to him during segregation in the south. Calling a man by his first name, was a power move and a way to put a person down.

I don't know about your coworker, but I would be more concerned about her easily set off temper. In a department where we are supposed to work as a team, this is a worrisome trait.

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

It seems as though the OP is was trying to be respectful and call her Ms Kelly, but Ms Kelly did not hear the MS part. The Ms. Kelly's reaction is what sounds most concerning, especially since earlier in the shift they were chatting, joking, everything seemed good kind of shift.