Being Snarky to Get Needed Help

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Feb 21, 2023

Before deploying snark I would probably get face to face 1st with whomever I thought could help or the person who could delegate the appropriate person who could help.

I save snark as a last resort.

Editorial Team / Admin · Feb 21, 2023

If you are still in your management role, you need to delegate this. If you just send out a random text, everyone will assume everyone else will do it.

klone, MSN, RN · Feb 21, 2023

That's not snark so much as passive-aggressiveness. Not a very effective tactic for a good leader.

JBMmom, MSN, NP · Feb 21, 2023

If I remember correctly, you had a similar problem when asking for assistance in the past and no one completed the task. As was pointed out, when more than one person is given a request, it's common for people to assume that someone else is the intended recipient, or that someone else will come forward. Perhaps your communication could be more straightforward, instead of just asking for help, something like "Please let me know what time each of you would be available to help with COVID testing that needs to be completed" Make your request something that requires a response from each individual and gives them the opportunity to have input on how/when a task is completed.

I completely understand the point of using snark, and that could be an effective tool on occasion, but you don't want to be known for that communication style in a leadership role. It ultimately undermines your own authority.

Davey Do · Feb 21, 2023

Being snarky or passive-aggressive in order to get people's attention and react are utilized because they work.

If we are direct with another in order to get them to act or react sometimes doesn't work because it's a concrete approach. We want them to go from A to B and they allow themselves to ignore the request.

However, if we direct another in an abstract way, the interpretation is left up to them and they give themselves the unstated yet intended message.

I learned this concept from an Old Salt back around 1979 while working as a houseparent for troubled teenage boys. For example, The Old Salt would tell the boys, "If you (do this), you'll deal with the ramifications of your actions" which was an abstractly vague threat. The boys would often ask, "What's going to be done?" and the Old Salt would reply, "Do it and see what happens".

The Old Salt told me, "Usually, the boys will think of things much worse than what could actually happen to them and will choose not to follow through".

This abstract approach is a form of emotional manipulation to a greater good, and if the means justifies the end, why not, rhetorically speaking, use it?

JKL33 · Feb 21, 2023

klone said:

That's not snark so much as passive-aggressiveness. Not a very effective tactic for a good leader.

But it results in great practice for those of us who wanted to teach ourselves to rise above/maintain inner peace/stop being provoked by foolishness.

???

Career Columnist / Author · Feb 21, 2023

SilverBells said:

Has anyone ever needed to be a little snarky in order to get help at work?

The other day, I asked at least 5 times for help with COVID testing. No response.

Finally, I sent a text message stating, "I noticed no one could be bothered to help out the way they were asked. "

It was only then that I got a response stating so-and-so would help.

Anyone experience something similar?

Think how you might feel if your Director texted you five times requesting help.

You want to appear confident and not weak to your employees.

When strategies don't work, step back and figure out another approach.

In this way, you build your communication skills.

vintagegal, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Feb 26, 2023

Silver bell, I'll put it bluntly. Nobody respects you or your title within the organization. For whatever reason. Probably not even your fault. Could be your age, the way you look, personality, management style. Who knows? You will never get this back. MOVE ON...

Mids · Feb 27, 2023

After all of these posts, why are you still at this job? There are tons of opportunities out there. Just move on to something new, hopefully something that won't cause the need to constantly post negatively about your job.

HiddenAngels · Mar 3, 2023

LOL! No, I've never had to get "snarky". I just go get them smile and don't take no for an answer..

klone, MSN, RN · Mar 3, 2023

I've been thinking about this post, as well as leadership styles. How I would have approached the situation.

First, I would have asked for volunteers. Because if there is anyone who ENJOYS doing a certain task or role, then I want to support them in providing that opportunity for them whenever possible. I would clearly state "I wanted to find out if anyone WANTS to do Covid testing today. Please let me know by 9am, if so." Then, if 9am passes with no volunteers, I would delegate a specific person to do it. I would let them know that I chose them randomly, but that I will rotate through so that they won't always have to do it. Then I would let the group know "Since there were no volunteers, I delegated the task to Mary, but I will keep a record of rotation so that everyone has the chance to do it, and nobody is doing it more than others, since I know this is a task that nobody loves. Thank you all for what you do, and how hard you all work. I do appreciate you all!" And then, if my schedule allows, I might even take a 2-hour shift, or break Mary for 30 minutes during the day so she can get a breather out of her PPE. This lets staff know I have their backs, and I would never ask anyone to do something I wouldn't be willing to do myself.

I had to do this very thing in my last job, and my staff found that since the task was always divided equitably and fairly, they were happy to step up and volunteer. I never had to delegate it, because someone would always say "I will do it today" or "I will do it for the AM if there is someone else who can do it in the PM." And they always knew that I had their back if they needed to step away and get a breather.