Being a SAHM after graduation

OCNRN63, RN · Jun 16, 2014

If having kids is more important to you, then you'll have to accept the probability that your job prospects down the road may be limited. Why not hold off on completing your education until the children you hope to have are in school? I know you don't want to put off school, but it sounds like being a wife and mother is more important to you right now. You can always go back later.

KatarinaCoffman · Jun 16, 2014

What if you work for six months to one year as a nurse, and then try to start a family? Since pregnancy is around 9 months or so, that would give you enough time to have the experience you need to work per diem.
Per diem work a couple of times a month would bring in some income, provide your family with a little more financial security, keep your nursing skills active and give you something outside of home and family that is yours.
From what I have experienced, being a full stay at home mom can be very isolating. PRN work let me set my own schedule, do some meaningful work around other adults, and was worth keeping.

I like this idea. I was planning on the per dime thing anyway. I'll have to look into the opportunities for per diem work in Oklahoma. And for the one that says it's a waste, it's not! First, learning can never be a waste. Second, family CERTAINLY isn't a waste! I love nursing but I also love being a housewife. I'd love to use it eventually but I want a few years with my kids. I grew up in a traditional southern family and my mom stayed at home with us.

MrsICURN14 · Jun 16, 2014

I like this idea. I was planning on the per dime thing anyway. I'll have to look into the opportunities for per diem work in Oklahoma. And for the one that says it's a waste, it's not! First, learning can never be a waste. Second, family CERTAINLY isn't a waste! I love nursing but I also love being a housewife. I'd love to use it eventually but I want a few years with my kids. I grew up in a traditional southern family and my mom stayed at home with us.

I never said being a SAHM was a waste. Nor did I say education was a waste. My point was why would you go through all that work and not use it? Choose to have kids and quit school and go back later, or finish and work. To me anything else doesn't make sense. You asked for opinions. That's mine.

I should also add, my first semester I contemplated the same thing. I was 26 and married and I got a case of baby fever. But by my 3rd-4th semester I had put so much work in, and was so excited to be a nurse, I couldn't imagine not working at least for a while. Now that I finally have graduated and passed the NCLEX, it's such a sense of accomplishment. Babies are the furthest thing from my mind because I want to focus on my career.

Give it some time. You might change your perspective.

To me it just doesn't make sense because you will be making things harder on yourself when you do try and get work in 5-6 years, AND you will have forgotten all you learned in nursing school. If you don't use it, you lose it. It's not like riding a bike.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

KeepItRealRN, BSN, RN · Jun 16, 2014

The other thing you need to think about is that if you finish school and get a year of experience under your belt is you will have something to fall back on if god forbid your marriage goes south. I know that is hard to think about but if you talk to women who have no career and have been left high and dry they will tell you they didn't consider it as a possibility either.

The bottom line like others have said is if you don't work full time for a year immediately after school it is career suicide as a nurse. You will likely will have a very hard time getting

part time or PRN without a years full time experience first.

At the end of the day you have to do what feels best. I know you want what you want. But listen to your gut.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jun 16, 2014

I like this idea. I was planning on the per dime thing anyway. I'll have to look into the opportunities for per diem work in Oklahoma. And for the one that says it's a waste, it's not! First, learning can never be a waste. Second, family CERTAINLY isn't a waste! I love nursing but I also love being a housewife. I'd love to use it eventually but I want a few years with my kids. I grew up in a traditional southern family and my mom stayed at home with us.

Do you have student loans? What is your plan for those?

Here is what I think. You can have both but it requires sacrifice and cooperation. The harsh reality is that it usually takes 2 incomes in todays society for a family.

I became a RN at age 18. I didn't have children until I was 36 when I met my husband. I was pregnant by our 6 month anniversary.... had a six month old and was 4 months pregnant by my second anniversary. I moved 1100 miles away from family and moved to an area I have no one except my husband...whom I married after 9 months of dating long distance.

I worked "part time" 24 to 32 hours per week. I worked opposite of my husband and we traded the kids in the parking lot. I ended up working straight nights when we went to 12 hour shifts. I got very creative with 2 small children (2 under 2) with Naps and sleep. I cut up a foam mattress (eggcrate) to fit the tub and spout. I would wet the foam shut off the water in the wall and let them paint each other and the tile with finger paints and shaving cream while I laid in from of the tub resting. When they started fighting I would hose them off and we all took a nap.

I learned to cat nap. I learned to be sleep deprived. I did the shopping, cleaning, cooking with help from my hubby. My house wasn't as clean as I liked but I learned to live with some dust. I once was about to pass out from sleep deprivation with my beloved dog (not the one in my avatar) when I saw a cheerio walking across the floor. I began to laugh...there was this black ant struggling to get that cheerio out the door....even the dog was sick of cherrios and never budged to get that Cheerio she once coveted.

They never spent one moment in child care. My husband we older (36 and 38) and had no desire to party with anyone but our children. We saw each other in passing but made sure we took time out for each other. My husband used to write love notes about the best Mommy on their diapers. I was a school Mom...PTA... room Mom. I never missed a party or field trip. I was an ER nurse and night supervisor clinical coordinator/administrator for a large (300 beds, home birth suite center, and satellite 35 bed facility 20 min down the road) acute care hospital.

My daughter graduated high school June 6th and I am never so proud as she starts nursing school in the fall in a 4 year program. My son graduates next year. I have been married 20 years.

It is doable if.....you want it bad enough.

AmerieRainesMommy · Jun 16, 2014

Do you have student loans? What is your plan for those?
Here is what I think. You can have both but it requires sacrifice and cooperation. The harsh reality is that it usually takes 2 incomes in todays society for a family.
I became a RN at age 18. I didn't have children until I was 36 when I met my husband. I was pregnant by our 6 month anniversary.... had a six month old and was 4 months pregnant by my second anniversary. I moved 1100 miles away from family and moved to an area I have no one except my husband...whom I married after 9 months of dating long distance.
I worked "part time" 24 to 32 hours per week. I worked opposite of my husband and we traded the kids in the parking lot. I ended up working straight nights when we went to 12 hour shifts. I got very creative with 2 small children (2 under 2) with Naps and sleep. I cut up a foam mattress (eggcrate) to fit the tub and spout. I would wet the foam shut off the water in the wall and let them paint each other and the tile with finger paints and shaving cream while I laid in from of the tub resting. When they started fighting I would hose them off and we all took a nap.
I learned to cat nap. I learned to be sleep deprived. I did the shopping, cleaning, cooking with help from my hubby. My house wasn't as clean as I liked but I learned to live with some dust. I once was about to pass out from sleep deprivation with my beloved dog (not the one in my avatar) when I saw a cheerio walking across the floor. I began to laugh...there was this black ant struggling to get that cheerio out the door....even the dog was sick of cherrios and never budged to get that Cheerio she once coveted.
They never spent one moment in child care. My husband we older (36 and 38) and had no desire to party with anyone but our children. We saw each other in passing but made sure we took time out for each other. My husband used to write love notes about the best Mommy on their diapers. I was a school Mom...PTA... room Mom. I never missed a party or field trip. I was an ER nurse and night supervisor clinical coordinator/administrator for a large (300 beds, home birth suite center, and satellite 35 bed facility 20 min down the road) acute care hospital.
My daughter graduated high school June 6th and I am never so proud as she starts nursing school in the fall in a 4 year program. My son graduates next year. I have been married 20 years.
It is doable if.....you want it bad enough.

This makes me feel so much better. I'm a single mom. I work two jobs. cna at a nursing home full time just switched to weekend option and in home I just dropped to 15ish hours a week. Was working both 40 hrs. My daughter is 4. Just turned. She is my world. I am in the Lpn program and by the end of three years I WILL be an rn. Maybe nurse practitioner if that's where my heart goes after I graduate. I am tired and it sucks and I know this next year I'm gonna have to spend time away from Amerie but in the end it will be worth it. I get stressed and discouraged especially bc I have no one to rely on. My gramma adopted me at 8 and I had to pull the plug on her after heart failure and loss of oxygen caused brain damage. I know I will make her proud bc I am just as stubborn and determined. I may not make a difference in the world but I will make one I'm several different peoples world. I'll be the one to hold your hand while you're dying and scared and just need loving face bc I've done it. It makes my heart complete knowing I comfort someone who lost their brand new child they had no chance of even knowing or someone who lost their husband of 60+ years and has no idea where to begin on healing. It's gonna suck but I believe God will help me help myself and I'll be repaid when it's my turn.

AmerieRainesMommy · Jun 16, 2014

All I ask is that my daughter sees who I am and that I love her. I don't care who she wants to be I'll support her either way but if she chose to be a doctor or nurse I would be very proud bc it is hard hard work

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jun 16, 2014

All I ask is that my daughter sees who I am and that I love her. I don't care who she wants to be I'll support her either way but if she chose to be a doctor or nurse I would be very proud bc it is hard hard work
It isn't the quantity of time with her it is the quality that counts.
My daughter is graceful, intelligent, beautiful inside and out. I'm proud of her. My son is an awesome young man...caring, polite, intelligent, thoughtful....they are by far my greatest accomplishment.

BSNbeauty, BSN, RN · Jun 16, 2014

ESME you are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story. Congrats to your daughter!!! I'm sure she will be an amazing nurse just like her mom.

elkpark · Jun 16, 2014

Although that seems like a good idea, then we wouldn't be together. What I really want is to be a stay at home mom. I enjoy summers when I get to be a house wife. I don't really want to put off school since I'm already in but just thinking of waiting potentially 5 years for children sounds terrible.

If you really want to be a SAHM and housewife, then don't go to nursing school. It will not only cost you a lot of time, money, and effort, but you will be taking a seat away from someone who actually wants to be a nurse and practice nursing.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Jun 16, 2014

you are going to have to face this issue sooner or later. If you work a little while you will have time to network with other nurses to see how they manage.

Spangle Brown · Jun 16, 2014

As far as jobs go, you work 3 days and home for 4. This also allows Daddy/child bonding time. As well as a possibility for the grandparents. After you do your year, you can work as a school nurse, who has the same schedule as her kids.

As a SAHM, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Been there, done that. Fun at first. But it gets old. Not like "Leave it to Beaver" days, where there are tons of SAHM and activities for such. As a SAHM, everyone, and I do mean everyone assumes you have tons of free time. So they will expect you to do things for them.