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Bad day, Bad year

School   (2,113 Views 27 Comments)
by BluebellRN BluebellRN, BSN (Member) Member Nurse

BluebellRN has 15 years experience as a BSN.

1,999 Profile Views; 109 Posts

Since I've started, we've been a school that has suffered a lot of tragic events. We've had a few student and staff deaths. FWIW, we are an elementary school. Today we have another. There's a family facing the decision to take their student off life support after what should have been a routine surgery and recovery. The child is 6. I left hospice for this job. As much as I enjoyed working with the families, I couldn't do the constant death anymore. Some nurses can work hospice for years, but I wasn't one of them. 

And here I am, dealing with death again. Along with the "other" stuff, like teachers who don't respect me. Just this morning I had to drag admin into it because of a student returning after vomiting. The teacher tried to drag the policy into it, and she had the policy wrong. The poor kid is now anxious, and feeling bad because she thinks she did something wrong because her teacher is hell bent on her going home. Luckly, she's calmed back down and things seem okay for now. 

I'm tired of working so hard, for so little pay, with so little respect. New teachers trying to do my job and doing it wrong. Veteran teachers undermining me. Today, a select few of us are on the verge of tears knowing a little one is going die very soon.  This year was already tough, and its just getting harder. Just yesterday I sent a request off to speak to someone through the employee assistance thing because I've been so stressed that I'm not sleeping. This was before I even knew about the child on life support. 

I need a break before I break 😖 

 

 

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1,203 Posts; 7,857 Profile Views

I'm so sorry. You absolutely deserve a break. *Virtual hugs*

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MHDNURSE has 21 years experience as a BSN, MSN, RN, NP and specializes in Pediatrics, Community, and School Health.

1,281 Posts; 12,586 Profile Views

Sending major hugs.  I am so sorry- you have been through way more than is typical for a school, especially so early in the year 😞 Hopefully talking to EAP will be helpful.

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OldDude specializes in Pediatrics.

7 Followers; 1 Article; 4,782 Posts; 29,997 Profile Views

Ugh...I'd can't say I know how you feel but I can understand why you are feeling down, out, drained, and madder than hell. There's nothing I can say that will change your environment so I remind you of the Serenity Prayer to maybe help with your emotional self..."God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." You have been placed in that position based on the compassion and experience you bring with you and for that, thanks be to God. Stand up straight and keep marching forward for good and the safety of your students and staff - regardless of whether you'd rather just rip their head off and spit into the hole. Best wishes and good luck! You can and you will!

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BiscuitRN has 4 years experience as a BSN, RN.

532 Posts; 2,211 Profile Views

This sounds so incredibly difficult.  I'm glad you reached out to employee assistance.  You need to talk to someone--a therapist or counselor.  Please, if you are able, take a day off to grieve.  Sending lots of love your way.

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JenTheSchoolRN is a BSN, RN and specializes in School nursing.

2,520 Posts; 23,862 Profile Views

I'm sending you all the hugs I can! That is a lot to handle and process so early in the school year.

Your school is lucky to have you even if they never say it/show it. I'm glad you reached out to employee assistance - self care is so important. ::hugs::

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BluebellRN has 15 years experience as a BSN.

109 Posts; 1,999 Profile Views

Thanks everyone. Admin has been great today, which helps. If not for such a great principal and AP, I'd have left after my first year. 

Our little office group knows and has been keeping updates on our little child, still no word. I can't say I'm much of a miracle person, but I wish I were right now. 

Even if I can't manage a whole day, I might leave early tomorrow. 

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Nurse Jen is a BSN, RN and specializes in School Nursing.

25 Posts; 46 Profile Views

So hard when a little one earns their angel wings.  Praying for you, your school, and the family of the student.  

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491 Posts; 3,875 Profile Views

Hang in there, it is hard!!

FWIW, our school has had a few tragedies as well this year: we had a parent of 2 students get stabbed to death (and it was all over the news) both students walked in and found their mother,  and then we had a drunk driver slam into our playground and take out the playhouse, the fence and the jungle gym (thankfully it was overnight).  All in the same week. But like you, we are dealing and it has brought us all closer together and working better together for our little ones.  You will get thru this! Prayers for you all!

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amoLucia specializes in LTC.

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As a reader here - (((HUGS))) to you.

And TY Old Dude for the Serenity Prayer, my fav. Welcome back.

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OldDude specializes in Pediatrics.

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1 hour ago, BluebellRN said:

...I can't say I'm much of a miracle person, but I wish I were right now... 

One never knows what God's plan is and we frequently disagree with His decisions. I'll share this from many years ago when I was working with a pediatric rheumatologist. We were called into the PICU, as  a last resort consult, for a teenage girl who had "something" that was slowly killing her. No one could figure it out. She was tubed - enough said. She had "that" look of the end. The rheumatologist said he couldn't think of anything to do that would help. A close personal friend of mine was working that very night and told me the PICU doc literally recorded in the chart, "All we can do now is pray;" the staff decided to do that. They encircled the girl's bed and prayed for her. The very next day the girl's tube was removed and she asked for some fried chicken. She walked out of the hospital a couple weeks later unassisted,

Miracles do happen 🙏

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BluebellRN has 15 years experience as a BSN.

109 Posts; 1,999 Profile Views

28 minutes ago, OldDude said:

Miracles do happen 🙏

I hope we get one. They are doing two more EEGs, one tonight and one tomorrow. Things do look dire, but we aren't the decision makers. 

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