Atheists? How do you deal with religious people?

[CalicoKitty]

I'm an atheist. I am uncomfortable around religious situations. I haven't started nursing school yet (14 weeks to go). I'm concerned with being confronted with people that would ask me to "Pray for them" and stuff. I don't know if this is a common occurrence among patients, etc. Aside from not wanting to be included in religious sentiments, I also am very uncomfortable with lying. I think I would find moral difficulty with saying "Okay" to someone that would ask me to pray for them.

I'd prefer to hear from atheists how they deal with situations like that. I'd rather not get into a religion discussion, if it can be avoided.

I was trying to search for old threads, but the links from the search engine are not going to the correct pages.

[deftonez188]

I generally give a generic reply as well - I don't tend to overthink it, unless they really push it, which they don't. I suppose had they tried to force beliefs I would simply tell them that mine are personal, and no one's buisiness but my own.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

your patients aren't going to know your religious beliefs (or lack thereof) unless you tell them. so don't tell them. we shouldn't be discussing our religion or lack of it with our patients anyway. if someone asks you to pray for them, tell them you'll keep them in your thoughts, and if they want you to pray with them, just observe a moment of silence. all you're really expected to do is be respectful of the religious beliefs of your patients -- you don't have to agree with them.

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

In nursing school they first teach us to recognize our own personal feelings toward religion. By no means are we responsible for praying for a client if we don't feel comfortable. As long as we give the appropiate referrals, we as nurses have done our job.

Now this is just my opinion... Not trying to preach to anyone here. I personally don't have a issue praying for my patients... Whether they are christian or anyother religion. However, if a client wants me to practice a religion that im not practicing, i will not do it... I would just make a referral. Sometimes i've prayed for patients silently without them knowing it( in my opinion prayer works! ) just for the record... I'm not afraid to say that i love god with all my heart. While taking ap i've came to the conclusion that no one but god created the awesome yet complex human body. I thank god every day for allowing me to wake up, and be able to learn more and more about the human body and how it works. With out him i would be nothing. Ilm sorry i just had to let that one out. But anyway the bottom line is that you don't have to pray if you don't feel comfortable with it. As long as you are respectful to the patients religion thats all that matters. Now if i had a patient that was an antheist, would i try to convert them... No i wouldn't. That would be inappropiate to do at work. There is a time and place for everything.

[tencat]

You all can argue God, no God, praying and not praying all the day long. The fact is that when you get your licenses and start working, you are going to be so busy hanging IVs, stamping out all kinds of little fires, admitting and discharging patients, calling doctors to clarify orders, dealing with relatives and all kinds of other stuff that the issue of religion or prayer is going to be the lowest priority on your ToDo list--if it even comes up.

That depends on which area of nursing you go into. In hospice, it's going to come up daily........and when I did med/surg it came up frequently as I was in a small, rural hospital. But, yes, it is not a priority in a hospital setting.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

That depends on which area of nursing you go into. In hospice, it's going to come up daily........and when I did med/surg it came up frequently as I was in a small, rural hospital. But, yes, it is not a priority in a hospital setting.

I work in a hospital setting as a Parish Nurse and I do deal with it daily. Our hospital does see it as a priority.

[Atheos]

Now if i had a patient that was an antheist, would i try to convert them... No i wouldn't. That would be inappropiate to do at work. There is a time and place for everything.

It's always innapropriate to proselytize but that's a different thread...

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

I am agnostic...so far in nursing school I haven't had anyone to ask me to "pray with them" but I had already decided that I was going to give the "clinical" response by asking them their religious affiliation so I can get someone for them that is of the same denomination or similar.

I don't think that there is a need to disclose your own personal choice...mainly b/c of the reaction you will get from some people, which is another reason why I choose to keep it to myself.

[heron, ASN, RN]

I work in hospice ... and yes, it comes up a lot. Luckily, we have an excellent spiritual care team, so most of the time I can call on them to assist where I'm uncomfortable.

I view all belief systems, including my own(dianic wicca) and atheism as well, as myths that help us make sense of the universe and find our own place in it. If I feel I understand a particular belief system well enough to relate to a pt in their own terms, I do so without discomfort. I am not lying ... I am speaking in the pts own symbolic language. I will sit quietly and lend my own energy if they want to pray.

Of course, there are many belief systems I do NOT understand well. I am never asked to participate in spiritual work in those situations, so the issue doesn't come up. Sometimes ... as with our Native American pts who practice their traditional religion at the end of life ... the most useful thing I can do is stay out of it and respect their privacy.

I am way more uncomfortable when pts ask about my own spiritual practice. I usually say either that it's private or simply that I'm not christian.

Funny thing ... I'm more "out" as a lesbian than I am as a witch! Go figure!

BTW, religion and religiosity are two different things. Religion is a belief system ... religiosity is behavior (which can often become dysfunctional).

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Funny thing ... I'm more "out" as a lesbian than I am as a witch! Go figure!

That doesn't surprise me. I will confess that I have a lot of friends who practice wicca or paganism in some form and, while I am not at all religious, it disconcerts me because it's such a no-no. Yes, I understand the patriarchal roots of quashing its practice, etc, but I still have the societally-imbued notion that it's unacceptable. On an emotional level, not a rational one.

on my inner attitude.

[heron, ASN, RN]

Hmm ... seems like the thread drifted a little bit.

OP asked for ideas from other atheists about responding to requests for spiritual support.

I think the number of replies from religionists shows that the issue isn't peculiar to atheists. Being asked for spiritual work outside one's own belief system can be mighty uncomfortable.

The take-home message here is do what makes you most comfortable ... a simple "I'm not _____ so I don't think that would be right. May I call your pastor/a family member/a parish visitor/etc. for you?" should work in most circumstances.

No need for self-disclosure beyond that.

Now a complete off-topic PS to Suesquatch ... no worries here. Emotional responses are like the weather ... we don't get to control that. It's what you do that you get to decide. Simple human respect for our differences works for me and you sound like you have that covered.

I never argue religion or the afterlife with anyone. I figure we all die, so we'll all find out eventually who's right. Meanwhile, I have work to do in this life, so let's agree to disagree and get on with it!

[horus2001]

That depends on which area of nursing you go into. In hospice, it's going to come up daily........and when I did med/surg it came up frequently as I was in a small, rural hospital. But, yes, it is not a priority in a hospital setting.

i don't know about that. i encounter a lot of nurses that are very religious. i think it a coping tool for dealing with issues that are beyond our power to resolve. Also just as the saying goes "there are no atheists in foxholes", as people become sicker or have very poor health, the tendency to become religous is very strong as they, the patients, need and want spiritual support.

i am not very religious so the level of enthusiam for god and jesus does make me a bit uncomfortable. But i do see that it is important to others and is very meaningful, so i put my feelings aside and smile.

[Atheos]

Also just as the saying goes "there are no atheists in foxholes", as people become sicker or have very poor health, the tendency to become religous is very strong as they, the patients, need and want spiritual support.

I just had to jump on this. I have seen quite few studies conducted showing that people don't tend to stray from their beliefs. This means that those that tend to become religious were already religious. Those that are atheists tend to stay so until the end. They also did a large study about 'Atheists in Foxholes' among the US Military after during and after WW2 and in following conflicts.

There are INDEED atheists in foxholes.