I need help with how to handle this RN. She is extremely arrogant and literally knows it all. I'm relatively new (6 months) and every little thing she critics as WRONG. I even hear her talking about more experienced nurses and they do things all wrong. Sometimes she butts into my patient care with things that I need to tell the Charge Nurse and its really none of her business. She does this in front of patients as well and its really starting to piss me off. As a male I'm trying to be diplomatic about it literally everything she tries to correct me on I reply to her yes I know I know I know, but that is not working.
Worse yet her arrogance her recently landed her a charge nurse position. I think she thinks she can finally be the boss of everyone. She is in charge nurse training but has this attitude even when she is not officially assigned to be charge in training to tell everyone what is wrong and what to do.
How do I handle a person like this? I've had other RN's and CNA's who I had issues with and I seem to work them out but this one I feel the only way is to just go to the manager. But with this RN "knowing it all" I'm afraid she will one day pull some policy out of her skinny booty and write me up in retaliation. Should I just tell her, "look you are not charging today and I need to discuss this with the charge nurse" for the day?
I can handle bad patients but bad colleagues is really uncalled for. Please advise or describe what you do with the "know it all" nurse.
Fact is male nurses and female nurses think differently and approach things differently and are treated differently. Its no different from what women go through when they jump into a male dominated profession.
I realize this is off topic but actually it is different. I read a fair bit of research on the gender divide in nursing while in school; a lot of the stats showed that men in nursing, rather than being discriminated against as one might expect, are actually favoured both in terms of advancement and pay. Because of this, I would argue that nursing is the field where male privilege (hate the term but it fits here) is, in fact, most blatant. It's really quite fascinating on a lot of levels.
To the actual subject; I do think AutumnApple's point about validation and boundaries is solid (the analogy is beside the point). "Know it alls" often hitch their whole identity to being the one who is right, the one who is the smartest and best and always got the highest grade in school. And they often make sure they are right. This sort of personality is not uncommon to nursing in my experience--I think high achievers gravitate to rigorous fields because it gives them the sense of accomplishment they desire. If you acknowledge their level of knowledge, you're acknowledging them as persons. As a result, they may stop insisting on proving that knowledge level by undermining you and may even help you (remembering that, as mentioned, they usually spend a lot of time making sure they know stuff). It might not work with your "know it all" but it is worth trying.
She's insecure. Do your best to laugh her antics off. If she was so smart, she would know that nobody knows it ALL. Although they can be annoying, I bite my tounge, hang back, and watch how the whole comedic tragedy / tragic comedy unfolds
The way you wrote this up, you sound like an arrogant know-it-all newbie who is shutting down someone who is trying to help.
Think about that for a second and make sure it isn't true.
If it is, you may want to listen to the charge nurse, who is going to be one of your greatest resources. At the least, establish a diplomatic relationship.
If it is not true, then you need to learn how to deal with difficult coworkers. Be confident in yourself and gracious to those who are trying to help you. Because that's most likely what she is doing, trying to help a new grad. Or at least offering to be available if you need help.
BTW, never answer "I know, I know, I know." Even if you DO know, you sound like an asteroid.
First up people This girl is NOT a charge nurse, she's a new RN like me, maybe got 1 year more than me, she like just recently got charge nurse IN TRAINING, so its not like she has a wealth of experience either. I understand trying to help...I don't understand someone cutting me off and embarrassing me in front of a patient to straighten out an IV tubing, something which is basic and which I know how to fix, just to make themselves look good...or tell me I need to check the batteries in a device...its things like that I'm referring too...not to holy grail of nursing wisdom. Why people always look to accuse new nurses when they don't know the whole story. Yes there is some beneficial stuff I need to know and I appreciate and I don't mind hearing her input but, as stated to someone, I don't need to be micro-managed. I mean if after 6 months a new nurse can't straighten out occluded IV tubing they should be fired.
Anyways, I give up on trying to explain this maybe I should just wrote... Title "Love my Know it all nurse" all the experienced nurses are super nice and love training me, they are just so cuddly and awesome...I super love my floor and all my co-workers are super awesome...my 1st year is turning out great...just let some nurses treat you like an embasil because you are new and you will have a super awesome and cuddly day with flowers and roses :)....
...to update, I don't know if its her new charging training or if what I did was working but things seem to be working out.
First up people This girl is NOT a charge nurse, she's a new RN like me, maybe got 1 year more than me, she like just recently got charge nurse IN TRAINING, so its not like she has a wealth of experience either. I understand trying to help...I don't understand someone cutting me off and embarrassing me in front of a patient to straighten out an IV tubing, something which is basic and which I know how to fix, just to make themselves look good...or tell me I need to check the batteries in a device...its things like that I'm referring too...not to holy grail of nursing wisdom. Why people always look to accuse new nurses when they don't know the whole story. Yes there is some beneficial stuff I need to know and I appreciate and I don't mind hearing her input but, as stated to someone, I don't need to be micro-managed. I mean if after 6 months a new nurse can't straighten out occluded IV tubing they should be fired.
Anyways, I give up on trying to explain this maybe I should just wrote... Title "Love my Know it all nurse" all the experienced nurses are super nice and love training me, they are just so cuddly and awesome...I super love my floor and all my co-workers are super awesome...my 1st year is turning out great...just let some nurses treat you like an embasil because you are new and you will have a super awesome and cuddly day with flowers and roses :)....
...to update, I don't know if its her new charging training or if what I did was working but things seem to be working out.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I do appreciate her "knowledge", but knowing it all does not necessarily mean she does know it all.
No you don't appreciate her knowledge; if you did you wouldn't put a qualifier around it. And it's beyond insulting to say male nurses think differently than female nurses. I've worked with plenty of male nurses, and you know how they would approach problems? Like nurses.
You said you've had issues with others. At this point, so early in your nursing career, you shouldn't have a history of having problems with anyone, let alone several individuals.
You do need to be watched. Six months experience is nothing, and most new nurses forget that if a problem arises due to the actions of a new nurse, the charge nurse will take the heat too. You haven't even given any examples of how your way of doing things is more correct/better than the charge nurse's.
When you prove yourself able to have a longer leash, so to speak, you'll have it. For now, listen and learn.
:l seriously? Did you even read my post? The total lack of understand of what I'm saying is beyond me. So here comes my defensive tone.
First up....some people got what I mean when I said "know it all" and some do not. I get advice from ALL the nurses on my floor DAILY, no make that HOURLY, in fact I bug nurse for help all the time, I also seek out advice, I am not a fool to think I know anything in nursing to be fully independent. A know it all to me is someone giving irrelavant facts which either do not pertain to me or splurting out every little detail which is counter productive. If you percepting someone you need to assess their current knowledge and go from their, not start over with a for apples, b for bat, c for cat.....got me now? And no she is not my preceptor she jist trying to look out for me
Secondly...its folly to say men think the same as women. We do not, that's a fact and I'm not even going to debate that further...
Third...I never mentioned having this same problem with anyone else, because I don't.
If everyone is honky dory and perfect in communication, then why does this forum even exist? All I needed was open ways to improve my communication with the nurse in question so I could direct her as to what my needs really are...I thought I was blowing things out of proportion, which I was, and I did not want to make working with her a problem, because prior to posting this I was really close to telling her off, thats what I meant by trying to be diplomatic. So now I understand it's just her way of helping. I've already gotten lots of great input so thanks for the responses, and thanks to those who got what I was saying.
First up people This girl is NOT a charge nurse, she's a new RN like me, maybe got 1 year more than me, she like just recently got charge nurse IN TRAINING, so its not like she has a wealth of experience either. I understand trying to help...I don't understand someone cutting me off and embarrassing me in front of a patient to straighten out an IV tubing, something which is basic and which I know how to fix, just to make themselves look good...or tell me I need to check the batteries in a device...its things like that I'm referring too...not to holy grail of nursing wisdom. Why people always look to accuse new nurses when they don't know the whole story. Yes there is some beneficial stuff I need to know and I appreciate and I don't mind hearing her input but, as stated to someone, I don't need to be micro-managed. I mean if after 6 months a new nurse can't straighten out occluded IV tubing they should be fired.
Anyways, I give up on trying to explain this maybe I should just wrote... Title "Love my Know it all nurse" all the experienced nurses are super nice and love training me, they are just so cuddly and awesome...I super love my floor and all my co-workers are super awesome...my 1st year is turning out great...just let some nurses treat you like an embasil because you are new and you will have a super awesome and cuddly day with flowers and roses :)....
...to update, I don't know if its her new charging training or if what I did was working but things seem to be working out.
In your original post you said she had just landed a charge nurse position. That is why everyone keeps commenting on her being the charge nurse.
She may come across as a know it all but you are coming across as defensive. If you talk to her the way you have talked to some of the people here who are trying to help you, well, I can't imagine she would appreciate that.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Yes its my first real nurse job out of school. I have been trying to "use her knowledge" like an enclycopedia, she is just so hyper, busy busy and super talkative I specifically choose nights to get away from those types the exact opposite of me, meticulous, slow and introvert and male. Surprisingly she complemented me last night for doing a great job on my shift . I like the coyote analogy. Maybe she does want reinforcement that she knows what she knows. Thanks for giving me new perspectives, I hope this helps others
If this is your first job, you still have lots to learn. And if this new charge nurse has a year more experience than you (or in other words, three times the experience that you do), she probably knows a lot more than you do. The difference between 25 years and 26 years of experience is negligible -- but the difference between half a year and a year and a half is vast!
Meticulous is good, but slow and introvert are problems to overcome in nursing. Nursing is a profession that more or less expects "social." Patients, families, colleagues and customers -- you're going to be talking to someone all day long. As an introvert, I find that difficult, and as an introvert, I've had to get over it. You will, too. As for being slow -- another problem to overcome. Time management is very important.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
The way you wrote this up, you sound like an arrogant know-it-all newbie who is shutting down someone who is trying to help.
Think about that for a second and make sure it isn't true.
If it is, you may want to listen to the charge nurse, who is going to be one of your greatest resources. At the least, establish a diplomatic relationship.
If it is not true, then you need to learn how to deal with difficult coworkers. Be confident in yourself and gracious to those who are trying to help you. Because that's most likely what she is doing, trying to help a new grad. Or at least offering to be available if you need help.
BTW, never answer "I know, I know, I know." Even if you DO know, you sound like an asteroid.
The "I know, I know, I know" is a big reason some of our orientees don't make it off orientation. It's very difficult to teach someone who already knows everything, and no nurse -- not even me -- knows everything. Learn from others. Even if they're opposite of you, younger than you or dumber than you. Even the nurse who is dumber than a box of rocks knows something you don't.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Not to be a hater, but you being a nurse for 6 months means you know nothing. To make matters worse, you don't even realize how much you don't know yet. She is correcting you because there something to correct. We as nurses should demand greatness from our co-workers.
The poster doesn't know what he doesn't know and is behaving as if he isn't open to learning. That's going to set off any charge nurse, potential charge nurse, preceptor, manager or colleague who has to pick up the pieces after the feces encounters the fan.
lemur00, BSN, RN
134 Posts
I realize this is off topic but actually it is different. I read a fair bit of research on the gender divide in nursing while in school; a lot of the stats showed that men in nursing, rather than being discriminated against as one might expect, are actually favoured both in terms of advancement and pay. Because of this, I would argue that nursing is the field where male privilege (hate the term but it fits here) is, in fact, most blatant. It's really quite fascinating on a lot of levels.
To the actual subject; I do think AutumnApple's point about validation and boundaries is solid (the analogy is beside the point). "Know it alls" often hitch their whole identity to being the one who is right, the one who is the smartest and best and always got the highest grade in school. And they often make sure they are right. This sort of personality is not uncommon to nursing in my experience--I think high achievers gravitate to rigorous fields because it gives them the sense of accomplishment they desire. If you acknowledge their level of knowledge, you're acknowledging them as persons. As a result, they may stop insisting on proving that knowledge level by undermining you and may even help you (remembering that, as mentioned, they usually spend a lot of time making sure they know stuff). It might not work with your "know it all" but it is worth trying.