I need help with how to handle this RN. She is extremely arrogant and literally knows it all. I'm relatively new (6 months) and every little thing she critics as WRONG. I even hear her talking about more experienced nurses and they do things all wrong. Sometimes she butts into my patient care with things that I need to tell the Charge Nurse and its really none of her business. She does this in front of patients as well and its really starting to piss me off. As a male I'm trying to be diplomatic about it literally everything she tries to correct me on I reply to her yes I know I know I know, but that is not working.
Worse yet her arrogance her recently landed her a charge nurse position. I think she thinks she can finally be the boss of everyone. She is in charge nurse training but has this attitude even when she is not officially assigned to be charge in training to tell everyone what is wrong and what to do.
How do I handle a person like this? I've had other RN's and CNA's who I had issues with and I seem to work them out but this one I feel the only way is to just go to the manager. But with this RN "knowing it all" I'm afraid she will one day pull some policy out of her skinny booty and write me up in retaliation. Should I just tell her, "look you are not charging today and I need to discuss this with the charge nurse" for the day?
I can handle bad patients but bad colleagues is really uncalled for. Please advise or describe what you do with the "know it all" nurse.
I am and have been open to learning, i am not open to be down trodded upon and trampled just because someone has more experience. So the feces has hit the fan and as Quick update so this charge RN is having problems left and right. Complaints continue to pile up against her, not just from me but from other charge nurses and cna's...yep who have at least quadruple her experience. Management is going to have a talk and also retrain her, other charge nurses have recommended removing her as a charge....so when i'm right i'm right. You new nurses out there dont let some arrogant nurse trod upon you just cause you are new. You are here to learn, be not to be abused.
What I mean by that is, coyotes will generally avoid humans. But, if they get hungry enough, they'll move in closer and closer to human populated areas in search of what they need.
She's a coyote, seeking to feed a need. Make sure that need is fed, and she'll not come so close to your boundaries.
I see it like this. Remember Human Growth&Development? They talk about why teens act the way they do. We've all seen the "know it all teen" which is ironically a close resemblance to your coworker (snickers). Why do teens act like know it all's? Because their brain is changing, opening up new pathways and they suddenly grasp the "abstract" like never before. This flood of new information that was unavailable before seems immense to them and overwhelms them. They suddenly feel like they're carrying around tons of understanding and knowledge when in reality, it's not as impressive to others as it feels to them.
Your coworker is probably very similar. She has all the knowledge that seems immense to her, but in reality isn't so impressive to everyone else. She has a desire to share this knowledge with everyone around herself and to validate herself with it.
What I do with people like this is, I feed the beast enough to avoid it being a confrontation that could have easily be avoided. You only need to do two things to create a working relation with her that will work for both of you:
1. Validate her. It's what she seeks. Like the coyote needs food, she needs this. If she goes without it, she'll creep in on your boundaries like a starving coyote moves in closer and closer to populated areas when desperate.
2. Once validation has been established, set your boundaries. Simply pointing out when they have been crossed like so: "I love your advice, but prefer it not be given directly in front of the patient in the future. I must have their confidence to provide them care and constantly being corrected by superiors hinders me gaining their confidence."
Validating a know it all is very simple actually and you don't have to be doing it with every breath you take. When you have a true question, go to her with it if she's on the unit. You'd be surprised too, these know it all types, once they like you, are the first to step in and help you when the water is rising up to flood levels on you: "Oh, you're having trouble figuring out how to write up that discharge? I'll do it and we'll talk later." That has been my experience with it anyway.
Taking questions to them, updating them on how their advice helped and showing an interest in hearing their input will make them feel validated. Shame though, so many people stomp their foot and refuse to do these simple things. I have before, made statements like "I'm here for the patient, not to humor some insecure charge nurse." That didn't get me far because then the coyote became hungry and creeped in on me more. A few simple steps that humor the know it all makes everything so much easier on everyone.
I think many of us become defensive when dealing with a know it all and never consider that they may need something from us. Instead, we focus on our bruised ego and how their behavior annoys us. Then the simple interventions that could have cured it all are lost in our resentment towards them.
Also, the final step is to take an introspective look at things. A little secret that many don't like to hear, but I'm not saying this in a condescending way at all: The people who get most annoyed with a know it all often are one themselves. That's something you'll have to assess for yourself, as I did for me.
This is solid advice and I will be taking it with me! Thanks for sharing!
Nope but I'll let you know if I do. Unlike her I wont pretent to know it all after just 2.5 years of nursing. Since you following my other post on management, my plan is to consider starting the leadership degree, gain more experience, and at least become board certified before I take on such a role. Its a med surg floor and I have no interest in being there long term like most nurses.
There are no right and wrong ways, nursing in an art and each individual RN must have autonomy and positive back up and support to deliver care that improves or enhances the health of the patient. Concentrate on strengthening your organizational and assessment skills, find a good advocate that likes to teach and mentor and maybe she will turn and go the other way.
I am and have been open to learning, I am not open to be down trodded upon and trampled just because someone has more experience. So the feces has hit the fan and as Quick update so this charge RN is having problems left and right. Complaints continue to pile up against her, not just from me but from other charge nurses and cna's...yep who have at least quadruple her experience. Management is going to have a talk and also retrain her, other charge nurses have recommended removing her as a charge....so when I'm right I'm right. You new nurses out there dont let some arrogant nurse trod upon you just cause you are new. You are here to learn, be not to be abused.
As your new I would recommend keeping your head down and let the staff who have been their longer log the complaints. When the **** hits the fan it tends to go everywhere. Best to stand back so it doesn't hit you!
TLDR: Even if you know a procedure there are always little tricks that make things go much smoother. The experienced staff may have some tricks to share if you are nice to them.
ArrowRN, BSN, RN
4 Articles; 1,153 Posts
I am and have been open to learning, i am not open to be down trodded upon and trampled just because someone has more experience. So the feces has hit the fan and as Quick update so this charge RN is having problems left and right. Complaints continue to pile up against her, not just from me but from other charge nurses and cna's...yep who have at least quadruple her experience. Management is going to have a talk and also retrain her, other charge nurses have recommended removing her as a charge....so when i'm right i'm right. You new nurses out there dont let some arrogant nurse trod upon you just cause you are new. You are here to learn, be not to be abused.