I am not yet a nurse, but I am planning to go to college to major in nursing.
My boyfriend & I had a heated discussion yesterday about nursing.
He basically said "Anyone can be a nurse. You are gonna go to college for it, when my sister who dropped outta high school is taking classes & she will be YOUR boss. It is an easy job. You dont really do much; it just consist of memorizing info. You really don't do much work. ANYONE CAN BE A NURSE!"
I got so ****** that he actually did feel that way. I seriously want to be a nurse & for someone to say that all I'm doing is working under a physician & "handing him gloves" hurts my feelings.
Let me share with you the typical first few months of college:
September: You show up with a huge 8 x 10 photo of your true love from high school. You display it prominently on your dresser.
October: You swap out that huge 8 X 10 for a more discreet 3 X 5 that blends in nicely with the display of your other old pals from high school.
November: Photo display is replaced with Halloween photos of you with all your new college pals. Photo of high school love gets cropped so it fits away nicely in your wallet.
December: Oh...him? Gawd...what was I EVER thinking???
:yeahthat:
My HS boyfriend wanted me to quit college, get married, and have babies. I wanted to do the last two things eventually but not without going to college. Broke up with him January of the first year of college. I had a scholarship to go to college and no one was going to mess with my chance for college
He knows, trust me he knows. He is doing it in a joking way to cover it up. That is called passive/aggressive and he will never change.
He sounds like my HS boyfriend-it sooo makes my skin crawl. It has been 20 years since I broke up with the jerk and besides going to college it was the best decision of my life!
Your boyfriend is an idiot! Dump him immediately! Even if you wanted to be a cashier (i used to be one), he should be supportive and not belittle you or your dreams. It just so happens that your dream is one of the hardest to achieve, only to land you in a job that is equally challenging. If he is this blind, then i wouldnt waste another minute on him.
like, we are kidding around with each other & just joking & i say something & then he says something like "shut up before i punch you"
so, last night we were driving & i told him that i actually believe that he will hit me one day. & he seemed upset. he said "i can't believe you actually think i would hit you. that bothers me"
he said that twice.
oboy........india, i know you see us as old fuddy-duddies who don't know your boyfriend and don't know what he's like, but believe me we know both. we may be older and things may be different today than when we were your age, but some things never change and peoples' natures are among them. your bf is the classic abuser, and do not think for one second that, if you **** him off one too many times, he won't hit you. anyone who threatens to punch a woman will eventually follow through, especially the ones who say "i was only kidding!" once is kidding, twice is a threat.
i, too, have been there with an abusive husband. i spent most of my six years with him listening to him call me a stupid gook, until i started to believe it. the physical abuse was subtle, but it was there.....holding me down on the couch while yelling in my face, grabbing me by the jaw and pinning me up against the wall while he called me stupid......your bf is the same way. don't let his laugh fool you for a second.
think about this: if you were in your 30's or 40's and had a 17-yr-old daughter whose bf treated her this way, what would you tell her? and i hope you realize that if you do have children with this "child", that he will belittle your children the same way he does you. he will tell his children (especially daughters, he obviously has little respect for females) that they are too dumb to be nurses or doctors or anything else professional.
he has to keep you under his thumb, and if you go to college then you will see the big wide world and leave him behind, and he knows it. i gaurantee you, if you stay with him you will never be a nurse. he will keep at you until you give up your dream. take that ride to college. it will be the best decision of your life, whether you finish nursing school or end up changing your major.
time to jump in, because i have seen and read alot about this. one of my friends dumped an abusive jerk who didn't care that he hurt her feelings. he also coerced her into sex when she didn't want to. he did that by throwing anger at her so she would have to appease him.
i have a feeling that your boyfriend will try to sabotage your efforts. homework assignments and books going missing, him insisting that you do something else, and throwing anger at you to intimidate you into giving him his way.
i have only one other thing to say about this. if he really loved you, he would treat you with respect, and care about your feelings.
I fear that after nine pages of messages, offering hope, wisdom, anecdotes, resources and personal angst, that india will still stay with her boyfriend.
Unfortunately, the only way anyone leaves her "true love" (PARTICULARLY when she is 17) is when she is finally, utterly tired of the treatment and knows she should leave. She deserves better. But only she can come to that conclusion, on her own, no matter how many wise words are sent her way.
Meantime, india, until you come to that conclusion (and I have no doubt you will, it's really just a matter of WHEN), please be careful and look out for yourself. He won't.
This issue hasn't been brought up in this thread, and if it has, I didn't see it.
Are you having sex with this lowlife? If you are, you MUST use protection! If you get pregnant, he WILL disappear and will have done you a big favor, but what about the baby?
And if you aren't, he's probably getting it from someone else at the Dollar Tree. Chances are, even if you are sexually active with him, he's probably getting it from someone else at the Dollar Tree, or maybe one of the chicks who thinks she's gonna snag herself a musician because that's what he says he is. Jealous, abusive men are almost always unfaithful themselves, unless they can't find another partner which sometimes happens.
BTW, I've known a number of musicians, real and fake, and the ones who had genuine talent were realistic about their chances of hitting the big time, and had a backup plan for making a living.
P.S. What do your other friends think of him? You haven't mentioned this. Or do you still have any? Men like this often cut their women off from their other friends, or drive them away so they can isolate them and have them all to themselves.
I remember thinking like your boyfriend not too long ago. When i was a child, i rarely went to the hospital, and when i did, i saw my pediatrician. Maybe there was a nurse who took my height, weight, BP, and so forth....other than that, i only remember my doc. The only memory i have of nurses was from cartoons. In cartoons, a nurse is always a woman, dressed in a skimpy skirt, the hat with the first aid symbol, and she puts a band-aid on your boo boo. So yeah, from these vague remembrances of nursing, i thought it was boring and easy.
When i started doing my prereqs for dental hygiene, there were many aspiring nursing students in my classes [[since many of the prereqs are the same]]. I was astounded at how many ppl wanted to be nurses. I finally asked someone what a nurse does and realized it's what i've been searching for! I think watching ER later that year also gave me a little insight as well. But before this, i never really understood a nurses role. They are responsible for so much, and have a vast amount of knowledge.... I believe alot of ppl don't realize how important they are.
...Needless to say, i want to be a nurse now [[hence the screenname]] .
I'm almost done with RT school and start Nursing next fall...YES!
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Otessa, BSN, RN
1,601 Posts
:yeahthat:
My HS boyfriend wanted me to quit college, get married, and have babies. I wanted to do the last two things eventually but not without going to college. Broke up with him January of the first year of college. I had a scholarship to go to college and no one was going to mess with my chance for college