I am not yet a nurse, but I am planning to go to college to major in nursing.
My boyfriend & I had a heated discussion yesterday about nursing.
He basically said "Anyone can be a nurse. You are gonna go to college for it, when my sister who dropped outta high school is taking classes & she will be YOUR boss. It is an easy job. You dont really do much; it just consist of memorizing info. You really don't do much work. ANYONE CAN BE A NURSE!"
I got so ****** that he actually did feel that way. I seriously want to be a nurse & for someone to say that all I'm doing is working under a physician & "handing him gloves" hurts my feelings.
Like, we are kidding around with each other & just joking & i say something & then he says something like "shut up before i punch you"
So, last night we were driving & I told him that I actually believe that he will hit me one day. & he seemed upset. He said "I can't believe you actually think I would hit you. That bothers me"
He said that twice.
This is weird.
He said he can see me attacking him before he would ever attack me.
But, he always says if I cheat on him, he'll hurt me.
& he isnt joking about that.
It always starts off joking before it becomes serious. This is the common pattern. Sorry, but he doesn't have the right to hurt you even if you do hurt him emotionally with cheating. Eventually he'll hit you and shift the blame to you, saying that something you did made him mad enough to hit you, apologize profusely, you'll go through the "honeymoon phase", and it will start all over again. This scares me that the closer you get to him, the harder it will be for you to leave him, as he'll keep chipping away at you, eroding your self until you start to believe these lies. Please think this through thoroughly, and look at the numerous people on this thread who are telling you this is not a normal part of a relationship. As another poster has said, for your sake, or if for nothing else, the sake of a child who would come to see the way he treats you as normal, please consider finding a guy who would treat you with respect, which is the bare minimum that you deserve.
I'd be so glad I'm not married to this mysogenist. If I ever had a boyfriend call me dumb,it would be the last thing he'd say to me." here's you hat,jerk!" is what I'd say to him. never match wits w/ a half wit.
The OP's boyfriend is terrified because he is afraid she will go off the college and meet a real man.
Well, yeah.
We've talked about college & I'm pretty close to getting a full ride to JMU.
:)
& he's a little scared. Cause he knows how college life is. & he doesn't want me to meet anyone else. he doesn't want our relationship to be over. & thats how i feel too.
We've been together for 18 months & being apart is going to be a challenge.
We've talked about college & I'm pretty close to getting a full ride to JMU.
:)
& he's a little scared. Cause he knows how college life is. & he doesn't want me to meet anyone else. he doesn't want our relationship to be over. & thats how i feel too.
We've been together for 18 months & being apart is going to be a challenge.
Let me share with you the typical first few months of college:
September: You show up with a huge 8 x 10 photo of your true love from high school. You display it prominently on your dresser.
October: You swap out that huge 8 X 10 for a more discreet 3 X 5 that blends in nicely with the display of your other old pals from high school.
November: Photo display is replaced with Halloween photos of you with all your new college pals. Photo of high school love gets cropped so it fits away nicely in your wallet.
December: Oh...him? Gawd...what was I EVER thinking???
We've talked about college & I'm pretty close to getting a full ride to JMU.
:)
& he's a little scared. Cause he knows how college life is. & he doesn't want me to meet anyone else. he doesn't want our relationship to be over. & thats how i feel too.
We've been together for 18 months & being apart is going to be a challenge.
you say he's scared; I say he's insecure because he knows his abusive ways will be so much more difficult to exert upon you (unless you allow him to) when you are miles away making yourself a better person while he works his way up the Dollar Tree store ladder while he waits for his musical gig to kick in for him. SUCCESS--something he is absolutly incapable of conceiving or accomplishing on his own); misery loves company so he's trying to convince you how worthless you are now--after all if you keep hearing that you are stupid, well it has to be true, right?
indiawhitaker...I know that we can type until our fingers become bloody stumps and it probably will not change your mind, but I'd like for you to re-read how many people on this thread are telling you of their nearly identical experiences with ex's; you are hearing multiple testimonials from other well educated individuals, both men and women, who at one time were saying exactly what you are saying on this thread; sure it's easy to believe it's not going to happen to you--he loves you in spite of putting down you and your ambitions; he would never hit you in spite of telling you he would in his oh so jokingly way. My friend, the writing is on the wall.
I'm gonna save you a bit of time here...if you do decide to cut your ties...he's going to swear he will become a better person; that he'll change; I guarantee it.
I'm going to bow out of this discussion. Good luck to you.
There's an old saying that water finds it's own level. I hope you take heed of what the other posters have said. They are right. I suspect you have already outgrown him. Stay focused. Good luck.
Specializes in Cardiac, Adolescent/Child Mental Health.
IDK.
I never thought about it as abusive before.
I know sometimes when I'm with him I feel down.
Sometimes he thratens to hit me or something.
But, again, it's in a playful way.
Like, we are kidding around with each other & just joking & i say something & then he says something like "shut up before i punch you"
So, last night we were driving & I told him that I actually believe that he will hit me one day. & he seemed upset. He said "I can't believe you actually think I would hit you. That bothers me"
I will say this because you are young, please listen to your gut feelings. If you feel lousy when you are around him, leave. You are too young to waste one more minute with him as you will not be able to fix him or his issues. Go to nursing school and don't look back. You will be glad that you did.
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