This thread is about the real thing.........you know, gassssssss. Intestinal, that is. Flatulence. Flatus. Fluffing. OK, farting. And what I want to know is, WHY in God's earth does it hit you so hard in middle age?!
Here's the issue. Up until about six months ago, I never had a problem with gas. Sure, I suppose I produced the usual amount during sleep, when one has little control over such things.......I certainly didn't do it during waking hours, except, of course, for belching whenever I drank soda pop too fast. Now, however, I can barely go a day without having to take Gas-X to remain socially acceptable. I mean, this stuff is EVIL.......not only is it noisy, but sometimes there's a toxic cloud that causes the eyes to weep and the family to hightail it out of the house before it chokes them.
It's SO difficult to remain a lady with this daily battle going on between my intestines and my sense of propriety. When I complained to my DH about it, he simply said, "Welcome to middle age!" Thanks a lot, Mister Eight-Years-Older! Of course, he's been rather, uh, boisterous since HIS mid-40s too, but being a man, he's somewhat insulated from the social opprobrium that I would face if I were to trumpet as raucously (and as frequently) as my innards call for.
So, what the hell is going on? Is it just aging? Is it due to overweight, nerves, a bad diet, or all the Diet Coke I drink? To be honest, I do consume a large amount of the stuff, but all it ever made me do in the past was burp, and while that's not very nice, it's not the end of the world. This, on the other hand, is not only embarrassing, but it's become amazingly difficult to control.........at any moment you can hear my poor outraged insides groaning and gurgling, and you don't even need a stethoscope! Some days it's not bad at all, but other days I live in fear of some of these odoriferous emanations escaping, and sometimes I just have to duck into an empty room (at work) or run for the bathroom (at home) and let 'er rip.
Please, somebody, help me before I have to buy stock in the Gas-X company or completely alienate everyone I live and work with!:imbar Thank you!!
You are probably are aware of these, or at least some of them, but you may have to take them more seriously.
Lactaid is a poor substitute for lactose intolerance because of other sugars in milk and even more so milk proteins such as as casinate are even more alllergenic. They are added to such products as non-dairy creamers, and it only takes one dose every two weeks or so to perpetuate a migrane, backache, or inflamatory bowel condition.
A more effective approach to undigested foods would be to take supplemental acidophilus, with the best being in the form of HSOs [homeostatic soil organisms] from 'Garden of Life' for instance, or other potent, refrigerated brands, or unflavored yogurts, or sources of Lactic Acid yeast products from "Standard Process Labs", or even saurekraut and its juices.
A big part of the middle age connection is simply achlorhydria, and or pancreatic insufficientcy which can be addressed with supplementation also. Bilateral hamstring weakness is a quick test and indication of achlorhydria.
Undigested complex carbs. are the most common cause of flatulence otherwise and can be treated with digestive enzymines to some degree. More cooking of certain vegetables may be necessary to break down those indigestible complex carbs to simpler digestible ones.
A major approach to eliminating most food allergies that has proven its dramatic effectiveness to multitudes has been to adopt the "Eat Right For Your Blood Type" diet. It can be a dramatic change in your diet and hard and slow to adopt fully as necessary, but the rewards are far more than just eliminating most flatulence. The same can be said of following the "Metabolic Typing Diet", but its determination is more subjective and may require a trained practioner to accurately determine your corrrect metabolic type. Combining both would be the optimun.
There are many more contributing factors that can also be major causes, and many more significant aides that indirectly help overcome these factors. Ignoring them in your head and heart will not overcome their effect on your metabolism. As an example, fallen arches, especially for nurses on their feet for long
hour and its biomechanical effect on your digestion. The solution, various forms of arch support. Those "As SeenOnTV" outlet stores in the malls sell shoe insert, arch supports economically, as does "The Good Feet" stores". They may also save you much, feet, knee, back and head and neck pain, as well as improve your digestion in time.
Gall bladder dysfunction and stones or of courses a very direct and treatable condition that address fat metabolism. They can usually be easily flushed out of the gallbladder nonsurgically as they were done so for ages before modern surgery evolved. A
good start is to go on "Milk Thistle" herb for a month first which will help pass even the larger ones. It will help improve liver function where the biliary stones often by the thouands will precede the few larger gall stones. Removing the GB will only lead to a new GB and stones as the bile duct will simply often only herniate to a new psuedo GB.
Once again restoring normal intestinal flora with at least basic symbiotic acidophilus is necessary to eliminate inflamantion of the bile and pancreatic ducts that contribut to digestive problems when sweets, etc. feed candidas, and e-coli, klebisia, etc. and become replacement parasitic host that anounce their dominance with smelly and volumious flatulence.
For information about how to flush out the gallstones or other matters my address is [email protected]. For criticism about my opions or grammar, or spelling, please forgive my typing and old eyes and take some acidophilus.
PS one last but biggie often over looked factor. If your bowel transit time is more than 24 hrs, {average time aside}, you are storing fecal material pass usable digestion to fermentation without the benefits of intoxication so to speak. Swallowing charcoal tablets or eating corn and watching for the remains in your stool will indicate how long you are storing that gas producing material. Often 10 to 15 lbs or more of carcinogenic fecal material continously occupies our colons, with all the added orthpedic, organ prolapsing, gas forming benefits in overweight people, just waiting its turn to be expelled sometimes for days.
No I am not selling anything, and if there was a simple brief answer to flatulence, there wouldn't be much of a problem with it.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I'm now fat, flat, and floppy, and my med side effects caused most of it. I have to take one to control the side effects of another. Therefore, I go phoooh, and sometimes a lot louder, and sometimes I go fffp, and a lot of times much louder, and many times I do it simultaneously. But I'm still as happy as though I was in my right mind.
Try Beano. It has digestive enzymes that prevent fermintation from ever happening as it breaks down startches and material that would normally not break down and ferment causing the pfffrrrt!:imbar
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Hawaiit, I'm intrigued by your post, especially the part about fallen arches. I have this condition. My podiatrist diagnosed it a month ago, and I've been fitted for orthotics........I wonder if they will make a difference in my digestion??
Thank you and Agnus for the advice, and of course Fran for the laughs........I can't help it, there's a 10-year-old who's still alive and well inside this nearly 45-year-old wreck of a body, and still thinks this most basic, "earthy" brand of humor on which most of us were raised is still hilarious!!
You guys would have me laughing harder if it weren't a problem in my house too.
Just lately, and loud, and copious, and rather evil scented.
Phew!
I attributed it to eating some sugar free chocolates--there is some sort of adjusted sugar in it that's supposed to raise BG only slowly (I'm not diabetic, I'm a chunky girl looking for a way to have her chocolate and diet too).
I do eat a lot of raw vegetables, and I'm very fond of high roughage foods (whole grains, especially). My experience in the past has been that if it is food related, I just have to adjust a bit (couple of days, tops) and the faahhhting slows down and about stops.
Laughter seems to help. And it's not like the DH doesn't deserve a little payback!
Laughing so hard that I may "pass the ole' gas"...lol!!!! I am in the mid fourties myself, and it is an emabarrassing part of life. Laughing too hard, bending down to pick up something, etc. can cause the dreaded gas to pass. Some are "silent; but violent"....some are loud and rude. I guess I should see about getting "Beano" also. I always heard that the "smeller is the feller"; if you get my point....hahahaha!!! Even nurses have to share aboutour less than "perfect" body functions.
I figure I might as well add my methane to this column as well.
The other night after taking a pt to the 7th floor from ER, I had the urge to expell, Held it untill I got in the elevator thinking I was alone and safe I let it rip. I was alone also untill the first floor and as I exited to head for ER to nurses got on the elevator and before the door close as I was headed down the hall I heard a very loud...EEEWWWWWWWWW GRROOOSSSSSSSSSS just before the door closed and they were trapped. Hope they didnt have to go to the top floor.
Maybe thats why I like golf who ever notices when you do it outside. However to let a loud one rip while someone is putting can be very disturbing to the one putting. But then why yell fore on an errant shot when you can bend over and blast one out. Then there was the time when my ball was under a tree and I let one out. No one noticed but a squirrel fell from the tree and died.
And while out duck hunting, why buy an expensive duck call, just eat several bowls of chili before you go out duck hunting and they flock right in and surrender themselves.
Then there is Valentines day flatus, just fan the covers and share it with someone you love.
Have you noticed that puts the kibosh on pure passion faster than flatus at an inopportune time. Might as well have gone and played golf after all.
After waiting in line at the check out stand at Target you let a quiet one out and to put the blame elsewhere you look at the cashier and say, Call your manager you obviously need a bathroom break eeewwwwwww!!!!!!!
Your in line at Taco bell, and you let one rip.. You glance around and ask, Allright who is advertising here for taco bell. I know its that little stupid dog.
Or your in class at school in the middle of an exam, and its deathly quiet except for the scratching of pens, and one blasts out and all of a sudden you hear chairs scraping as people further themselves from the blast center.
BTW
I am of course speaking from personal experiences....
FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I
3,619 Posts
Oooooooooh, yeahhhhhhhh. BIG TIME.