Another Thread for Gas-Passers

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This thread is about the real thing.........you know, gassssssss. Intestinal, that is. Flatulence. Flatus. Fluffing. OK, farting. And what I want to know is, WHY in God's earth does it hit you so hard in middle age?!

Here's the issue. Up until about six months ago, I never had a problem with gas. Sure, I suppose I produced the usual amount during sleep, when one has little control over such things.......I certainly didn't do it during waking hours, except, of course, for belching whenever I drank soda pop too fast. Now, however, I can barely go a day without having to take Gas-X to remain socially acceptable. I mean, this stuff is EVIL.......not only is it noisy, but sometimes there's a toxic cloud that causes the eyes to weep and the family to hightail it out of the house before it chokes them.

It's SO difficult to remain a lady with this daily battle going on between my intestines and my sense of propriety. When I complained to my DH about it, he simply said, "Welcome to middle age!" Thanks a lot, Mister Eight-Years-Older! Of course, he's been rather, uh, boisterous since HIS mid-40s too, but being a man, he's somewhat insulated from the social opprobrium that I would face if I were to trumpet as raucously (and as frequently) as my innards call for.

So, what the hell is going on? Is it just aging? Is it due to overweight, nerves, a bad diet, or all the Diet Coke I drink? To be honest, I do consume a large amount of the stuff, but all it ever made me do in the past was burp, and while that's not very nice, it's not the end of the world. This, on the other hand, is not only embarrassing, but it's become amazingly difficult to control.........at any moment you can hear my poor outraged insides groaning and gurgling, and you don't even need a stethoscope! Some days it's not bad at all, but other days I live in fear of some of these odoriferous emanations escaping, and sometimes I just have to duck into an empty room (at work) or run for the bathroom (at home) and let 'er rip.

Please, somebody, help me before I have to buy stock in the Gas-X company or completely alienate everyone I live and work with!:imbar Thank you!!

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

No kidding......I just want to know, WHY ME?! (And God's probably sitting up there at this very instant, laughing at me and saying "Why NOT you?"):chuckle

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OMG! I guess I'm not alone. At home it's just a pain in the butt but at work it's soooo embarrassing. During an assessment I sometimes have to excuse my self QUICKLY. The first time, I will never forget, ( And I'm sure the pt will never forget me!) I was talking to a pt and could feel my gut gurgling and it just slipped out:imbar . The pt just stopped talking and looked at me. I was soooooo embarrassed and said " oh excuse me" and continued the assessment. What else could I do! I could feel the heat on my face and boy did it stink:eek: This was a very traumatic event for me and I work in fear of it ever happening again. I laugh now but I sure wasn't laughing then.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

My therapist did that once. And it was loud. The poor dear's face turned a cherry red.:imbar But I pretended not to hear or smell it. Because I know how that feels.

Talking about the subject, When I was a schoolbus driver several years ago, I was taking some sports practice kids home, when one of the kids began describing all the various types. :chuckle :roll I liked him from the start!

Fran:nurse:

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I'm trying to eat my dinner here, and y'all have me laughing so hard I'm choking on my spaghetti! I knew I liked y'all, even before I found out we have something in common! :chuckle

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Whats embarassing is when one is out in public, say at Target and you just have one of those that goes off, so you walk by people really fast,looking very interested in the displays....

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

When I was in nursing school, all the students were younger than me, so I was pretty much left out in the cold so to speak. I most always ate alone, etc.and I admit, it got quite lonely at times. :o

So, one afternoon at the end of our shift,a bunch of the younger folks and I were together in an elevator to go for post-conference.

Then all of a sudden it happened!;) Glory halelujah, payback time had arrived. It made me gloriously happy too. You see, I let one of the STRONG, silent types. As the aroma permeated our entire atmosphere, the young folks began blaming one another.

When it came to me, and a girl who was often teased due to her klutziness, asked me if I did it, I replied, :rolleyes: Who, me? So at the end of our ride, that girl got blamed, and I just walked out of that elevator without saying a word, and just as pleased as I could be.;)

Fran:nurse:

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Petunia......."pain in the butt".....was that a pun?;)

Today, I've been sick with a moderately severe migraine, so I haven't eaten or drank much of anything. Guess what? The second I DO put something in my stomach, the gurgling commences........followed swiftly by a series of low-wattage explosions from both north and south terminals.:rolleyes: Guess I can't catch a break even when I DON'T consume a gallon of Diet Coke.:eek:

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

:o Yeah, mjlrn,

Even plugging the things with corks don't work. They just :eek: blow right out. And if that happened when you're around someone, there could be some serious repercussions.

You'd think that technology, being what it is today, I mean after all, they can put men in space, create a mechanical heart that can keep a person alive, but they just can't seem to be able to solve the noisy, unfragrant, bodily problems that make you sound like some hillbilly with crude body manners. Honestly.:rolleyes:

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Yet ours is probably one of the only societies in world history to take a dim view of these bodily emissions. In some cultures, NOT burping is an insult to the cook! Also, our Founding Fathers weren't exactly reticent about such things........witness Ben Franklin's book called "Fart Proudly". He seems to have been of the persuasion that believed holding in one's, er, internal rumblings was bad for the constitution (as opposed to The Constitution, I mean).

Of course, like many people I've wondered what people did back in the days before regular bathing and "frou-frou" became the norm. Can you imagine what they must have SMELLED like? Most took a bath once a week whether they needed it or not, but then there was body hair (wouldn't you just love having a bird's nest under your delicate, creamy white arms?), NO deodorant, and all that clothing to deal with, even on the hottest of summer days. So why would they have cared about body noises when they all smelled like goats?:confused:

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You guys are just too damn funny!! :rotfl: :chuckle

I would have never guessed we'd EVER talk about this on here. :eek:

Thanks for all the laughs....at least I HOPE that's what that is. :rolleyes: :D

Kacy

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I'm only 24 and I have the same problem as you all do!! Please don't tell me that it get's worse! By the time I'm 40 I'll have to have a chamber built around me so nobody get's hit with them!! :roll

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It is so wrong to talk about this :-)

There is an old expression that says, "He thinks his &*($ don't stink, but his farts give him away."

I will fart well after beans because of the sugar in them, and the bacteria in my colon.

Going any length of time for me without eating fresh fruit or veggies, and then eating some again will cause my GI tract to gas. I think this is an example of the enzymes in the raw food that reacts with stuff left behind by consuming non-raw and especially processed.

Smelly farts only occur when i have eaten something bad, like, bad bad. My smelly farts all depend on what I eat.

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