Am I being too sensitive?

[NurseLily22]

I know I am probably being too sensitive, but I just started at a new hospital about 4 weeks ago. I am fresh off orienting to the floor and I find out tonight one of the nurses that oriented me and that I worked with only 1 night has been talking badly about me! I try my best to be nice to everyone and do my best at nursing. I NEVER want to hurt anyone feelings, so when I found this out it really hurt my feelings. I had to hold back my tears in front of the other nurses when I heard this, and when I got home I cried about it. I only have about 10 months of nursing experience under my belt, so that added along with being new to the hospital makes it worse. I am CONSTANTLY worried about not doing stuff right anyway and not being competent yet.. Am I being too sensitive to cry about this? What would you do about it? Nurses like this make me want to quit the field altogether. I am already thinking about leaving this hospital because of mean nurses like her (which there are a few others on the floor.) The other hospital I worked at-the nurses treated me awesome. It was an ER, so you'd figure it'd be the other way around. I am really missing the ER and all the great staff I worked with there. The only reason I moved was to be closer to home. Sorry for the long rant..just had to vent. Makes me feel better!

[billabong]

Don't let one nurse ruin this job for you. There are nice and nasty nurses everywhere. Furthermore, why did the other nurses feel the need to tell you what this other nurse said - it sounds like they were trying to stir the pot. You could always confront the nurse that allegedly said things about you behind your back or you could put it behind you and move on. Good luck.

[Orange Tree]

I went through the same thing. I cried on the way home almost daily. Then I decided to endure and succeed!

If people choose to criticize me (not the constructive kind), good for them. I acknowledge my deficits, and I think they're in line with my level of experience. I do my job and never speak poorly of anyone. And I am always looking for ways to improve. Now that I'm settled in, the "sheeple" who talked bad about me in the beginning are super friendly. And from what I've seen, that's usually the way it works.

Think of it as gang initiation....but you don't have to take a physical beating, just an emotional one.

[cecilsgirl]

Nurselilly , my heart goes out to you! I agree with the previous poster, why did they tell that nuse was talking bad about you? Usually telling something negitive that another person says- does nothing positive, and almost always harbors ill feelings, as you are feeling now. Goodluck to you. You are not being too sensitive, you are human.

[Sparrowhawk]

Unfortuantely, nurses are gonna talk behind your back....you have to learn not to let it bother you. YOU are a good nurse...and YOU know it..that's all that matters, what other people think doesn't matter (except your boss's opinion of course). You'll get there...sorry it hurt you *hugs*

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

It's okay to cry. Nurses like you mention here are mostly every where. I've seen so many two-faced nurses since I've been in nursing that it's absolutely sickening. Just have a good cry and go on about your business; you shouldn't quit though. This will pass and someone newer will come along and go thru the same thing. Moments like this is what helps make us stronger. "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!" Just always stay out of the gossip and when you hear some one dissing another person, either walk away or stay silent! Take care!

[carluvscats]

Focus on bettering yourself and don't let them win. Unfortunately, some people mistake kindness for weakness, so just keep your chin up, be yourself, and flush the rest. It's not worth your emotional energy.

And come here to vent! It's the best place!

[shoegalRN, RN]

Awww (((((HUGS)))))

I know how it feels to be talked about badly by the person who precepted you. On top of it, you are still trying to build your confidence in your skills. I know it hurts to hear someone roll over your confidence.

If I were you, I would approach this person, take her to the side, and ask her is there something she has to say to you about your skills because you want to improve on any particular area you may be lacking in. Let her know you thought you addressed all of that during your orientation with her so you are not understanding why you are hearing otherwise.

Then tell her how what she said made you FEEL. End it with if there is a problem in the future, you would appericate if she would come to you FIRST and not discuss any issues she may have with you with others and only discuss them in your presence.

Do this all with a smile and a nice tone. Don't let her see you getting upset or crying.

Good luck!

[llg, PhD, RN]

I agree with the general tone of the previous posters:

1. Yes, the other person is not very nice. And it sounds like there are a couple of "not-so-nice" people in your new job.

2. No, there is nothing wrong with you for being upset about it. Most people would be at least a little upset.

3. You are just going to have to deal with it and move forward. There are "not nice" people everywhere and we can't let them ruin our lives.

If you want to work at your current hospital because it is closer to your home, then work there. Don't let the "not nice" people chase you away. Just do the best you can and endure them for a while. They will eventually get used to having you around and get bored by talking about you. They will move on to another topic. The longer you stay -- and do a good job with the patients -- the more power you will have in the situation.

Don't run away before giving it more time to work out.

[rn4ever?]

When I was a newbie, I met many nasty nurses who weren't really happy to help. But I didn't mind them and just did my best. I still work where I work and so far have received good evaluations. And guess what, most of the nasty nurses have either been fired or resigned-----they always complained that work was heavy but discovered that their new job was heavier! So they wanted to reapply in our unit-----but thankfully my manager knows better! Watch your back too always and trust no one. Best of luck to you!

[wondern, ASN]

You are conscientious. That is a very good thing in our profession of nursing! If you love the work and that's the worst of it, stay, but if you ever find it's more depressing than it is respectful for you there and you discover you're in a bully club just transfer out to another area you could love more. It's not worth your mental health. IJS, I wish I would've done that from the get go. I was a fighter though and didn't want to give up nor be a victim. It can happen though even if you don't want it too. If so, just gracefully turn in your lovely resignation after first finding something better, of course. :hug:

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

No, you are ok with crying.

I'd ask the nurses who told you about the badmouthing for more details.

Then, I'd ask the alleged badmouther if there is any problem. When she says "no", just say "the reason I ask is that ____ said you said ____." Enjoy her squirming (if she is squirming), let her know you'd appreciate it if she would talk to you directly about any concerns, remind her you are a pretty new grad, etc.