Am I overeacting???

Nurses General Nursing

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My son is 12 1/2 and stays home during the day while I am at work. He'll get on the computer sometimes - but I can always get ahold of him via e-mail even though the phone line is busy. So...earlier today I tried for 1 1/2 hours to get a hold of him. I e-mailed him 3x's (no response), called numerous times (busy signal), and even sent several Instant Messages - all with no response. So...I borrowed my mom's car and ran over to my apt and he was sitting on the floor playing video games - aparantly he was doing that while the computer was on. So...I'm not to happy with him to say the least, which of course being a kid, he didn't understand.

However when I get back to work (my mom and I work at the same company) and tell my mom about it (I told him he was grounded from the computer and video games) she was irritated because she just rented a video games for him last night and now he won't be able to play it. Basically saying that I've totally overeacted.

What do you all think???

1) I was totally worried about him (he has asthma - he could be on the floor dying for all I knew

2) He could have left the computer on and went outside (not that I really think he'd do that, but.....)

3) I was totally freaked out because I couldn't get a hold of him.

So...was I overeacting???

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

you are the mom. YOU Know your kid and YOU make the rules. I say you do what you know is right and don't worry. Hopefully the kid learned a lesson.

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No, you didn't overreact. As others have said, it's YOUR kid, you make the rules not your mom. Your mom should support you with discipline. Boy, I know my grandma would have been upset if I had done something my mom forbid me to do.

All the reasons you listed for being worried were good reasons. No, you aren't "overcompensating" or whatever.:uhoh3: There's a reason why you're out working, to give your son the best you can. IMO, there's no reason to feel bad.

You done good. :)

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Specializes in Trauma, MICU.

Thank you all for your responses!!! :mad: Previously I didn't have any specific "rules" for Joe concerning a situation like this - just that I need to be able to get a hold of him whenever he's home alone. I think that I was so freaked out that (for once :rolleyes: ) he actually understood where I was coming from. When I got home from work he apologized and said it wouldn't happen again! :mad: It is very frustrating to be a single parent - and like RNPATL said it is very difficult to find something to do with a 12 year old in the summer. I sent him to a local natural history museum for 2 different weeks (1/2 days = $70) but that's all I could find/afford. Oh well - just 3 more weeks to go! :clown:

Once again - thanks for all of your comments - and I'm glad that most of you agreed with me - makes me feel better!!! Have a great weekend y'all!!!

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

If it's vital to you that you be able to reach him at all times (and I have to say for me that this would be the case) then I would work something out so that this can be accomplished. In our case having a cell phone in the house or even a beeper makes it possible for one of us to reach a family member if the phone line is tied up. And shoot, I even accidentally leave my computer on and the phone line tied up for hours when I've forgotten about it.

He needs to understand that it is important that you be able to communicate with him and as a result, needs to take on the responsibility of making sure he's available to you (ie the cell is on or the beeper is on and he returns your call promptly).

Re punishment, you're only overreacting in my opinion if he was unaware of your expectations... and I don't think you were overreacting by running home real quick, I would have done the same.

Bottom line, for ease of mind, I'd get a cell or a beeper for him. (These come in handy in a lot of other situations where he's away from you as well... and as he gets older, those times are going to increase)

Hmm, or another suggestion: is there a neighbor next door or close by that you could call from work and have them do a quick check for you should this accidentally happen again? We have a wonderful retired couple next door to us that have agreed to do anything they can to help our daughter in case something unforseen happens.. ie she comes home from school and can't get in the house because she forgot her key kind of thing.. they're a wonderful emergency back up and to thank them for their occasional help, I usually take them over some baked goodies.

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If my kid had asthma, I'd probably have freaked too. That's not overreacting in my book.

Best to be safe; you did the right thing. Glad everything turned out ok.

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Why don't you get a DSL service or a cell phone for him and then you don't have to worry about the phone line being tied up/

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Before we had cable, when we had dialup we had a little box that you plug the phone and the computer into and when a call came in, it knocked off the computer and the phone rang, so we didn't miss any calls.

It's called Emerson Switchboard and it sold for less than $50. They had it at the As Seen On TV store in the mall, that's where I got it, and they also had it on the As Seen On TV website.

It was definitely worth the money and it does work as advertised.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTC.

I think the last post was rather unkind and judgmental!

YOU know what's best for you and your son. I have five kids, two boys in there both age 11 and 12, and two teenagers. We have LOTS of these kinds of situations cropping up all the time. You've been given good advice (before this last post) People will have their things to say, and I would hold firm and let them know that what you did was what needed to be done for your son and you. You are a very attentive mom! Your children will praise you in the end.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTC.

Sorry- I was replying to the post by PARAMEDICATED.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Did he just simply make a mistake? I'm a ditz and I might have done something like leaving the computer on while playing a video game.

Was it a first time offense? Did he deliberately break an established rule, or was simply being forgetful?

It's all relative. You need to stress the importance of answering emails and turning off the computer when not in use, but punishing him for an honest mistake might be considered overreacting. I understand your concern. You took time out of your day, all worried and found him nonchalantly playing video games. That would burn me up too.

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Specializes in Trauma, MICU.

He simply wasn't thinking - we straightened it out though. He's either going to be on the computer (where I can e-mail him) or off (where I can call him).

Boy did it take a while for my nerves to get back to normal!!! :eek:

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Offer to pay for the rental but don't give in to the discipline. It seems very appropriate for the situation.

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