Allow Kids during childbirth

Hardknox · Jun 18, 2002

IMHO the kids are usually scared to death that Mom is hurting so badly. The involuntary grunts, moans and screams scare the crap out of all but the oldest kids. YOu know, even in the old days the kids were sent off with the neighbors when MOM went into labor, and then saw the new baby.

People have the option of their child attending at our hospital but the child must be accompanied by an adult who can explain (even after sibling preparation classes) again what is going on and remove and stay with the child if an emergency occurs.

Unless the child has been a well prepared, mature teen it has not worked out too well and most parents don't opt to have the child there.

sbic56, BSN, RN · Jun 18, 2002

At the deliveries I've managed where older siblings were in attendence, it has been by and large a good experience for them. These kids were prepared well and didn't seem too distraught by their Moms' discomfort. It was always understood that an adult should be ready to remove them from the room if necessary, but so far so good. I can remember one little 4 y.o. tyke who went as far as to coach his Mom through pushing. That was just so unbelievably cool! When all participants are well prepared I think watching the birth can be an incredible bonding experience for all.

shay · Jun 18, 2002

Uhhhhhh......wellll.......how young? How prepared?

Teenagers and preteens are fine. Kids as young as 8-9 are fine. Younger ones tend to freak out or get very upset about mom hurting, in my experinece.

I heard of one hospital that had a policy that no children under a certain age could observe, and if the child was to observe the birth, they had to have attended a special class (something like childbirth ed. for kids) prior to the birth. Also, there had to be someone IN ADDITION to the spouse/sign. other to remove the child/go with the child if the kid wanted to or needed to leave. I think that's a very sound, reasonable policy.

I agree w/the poster who said it's been a good experience for older kids to observe. That's usually been my experience.

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Jun 18, 2002

Howdy yall

From deep in the heart of texas

I am not a woman, so I cant respond from a females perspective. But in this I feel it would have to be based on the values and beliefs of that individuals family unit. All sorts of different cultures and beliefs out there and we have to be tolerant of their individual rights, at least to a point.

fergus51 · Jun 18, 2002

I am with shay on this one. I don't think a blanket policy saying no kids is really fair, but they need to be prepared and have another adult there to look after the kids, because us nurses don't want to play babysitter!

LasVegasRN · Jun 18, 2002

I was 15 when my Mom had my brother. I did NOT want to be there. TOO MUCH INFORMATION! When she was in labor at home and the water broke, I remember thinking, GROSSSSSSS!!! :chuckle

I was so bad back then.

sandstormsdust · Jun 20, 2002

The thought of seeing any person having a baby was so sickening to me.... until I had mine... now I'm really courious to see exectly what happens...

I would completly object to having any of my children see me having more children.... And I would diffenatly have a woman there with me who has been there done that.

mark_LD_RN · Jun 20, 2002

i think it is a good think to have children present at birth if they are well prepared and have someone to be with them to explain what is going on or to go out with them if needed. we allow this quite frequently

Sundowner · Jun 20, 2002

Well as a mom with son's......I would say no. I dont think it is too awfully apropriate to have my dear boys gazing at me in such a horrid position, now if I had girls, and they were old enough (9 or ten?), then perhaps. I had my third son when my eldest two were seven and nine. They waited outside. I really dont understand the need to share those moments with anyone els but my husband......call me old fashioned!

RNforLongTime · Jun 20, 2002

When I have a baby, I'm gonna have a hard time getting my husband in the delivery room! I've already decided that my Mom is definitely gonna be there! Maybe my sister too, she's had two kids of her own already so she'll be supportive. I am hoping that when the day comes that my darling husband will WANT to be there with me when I give birth to our child. Heck, he can't watch a cow having a calf on the Discovery Channel without turning his face as he is that grossed out by the blood!

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jun 20, 2002

Surprising how many women show up with siblings and at least two sets of grandparents and a best friend and want them ALL in the labor room. Can't even turn around without running into someone. I want my privacy as a patient (and frankly sometimes as a nurse).

It's also hard to discuss some situations frankly with the whole famn damily listening in. Don't these women know we will be examinin their lives and their "parts" in detail??