I am writing this totally heart broken and at my wits end.
I started my career as a nurse receiving compliments on what a good job I did. I felt that I was one of those people that had to do my job well and couldn't settle for any less. I had to chart well and provide the care that patients and families were more than satisfied with. They had to know they could count on me and that I was going to be there for them.
After 15 years and multiple hospital settings I have come to realize that it doesn't matter. Over the years, I have witnessed that many of hte units are run by managers and assistant managers that couldn't handle floor nursing and yet their demands on their employees are unrealistic. The people that they choose to be in charge and manage the floor are picked based on friendship and loyalty rather than hard work.
I have worked side by side with techs who run the unit and force nurses to do their work while they find time to sit on the internet or phone and then get out on time while we are stuck over finishing our work. I have walked into many patients rooms to pass pills only to find they had no water, haven't been turned or need urine emptied from urinals or pans that are overflowing. I can't tell you how many pans I have see stained with urine or feces because they don't get rinsed. How often patients are tied up in lines and cords.
I find myself picking up the slack and doing all of the jobs that countless others do not. Why can't people untangle lines? Why aren't pans rinsed from urine or feces? Why won't the techs do tech jobs and make sure people have water or that other needs are met?
In the end, what you get is punished. Punished because you couldn't get your work done. Punished because you couldn't meet everyone's needs and a patient or family felt you took too long to get to them and there was nothing you could say or do to make it right when you knew in your heart that it wasn't your fault. Instead, the blame is on the fact that there is too much for you to do or there is a major imbalance of productivity amongst workers.
The reason for the nursing shortage? Overworked and not appreciated and abused. You can't stick up for yourself, you can't tell them why you couldn't get things done - you can't say nothing. 15 years and nothing to show for it. I have tried nearly every hospital around and I find the negative complainers and the staff that knows how to socialize are the people that are respected and appreciated. It's not about the people that are out there busting their tails. Everyone knows there is a shortage and why but no one does anything and the biggest culprits are the administrators of the hospitals. The majority of those couldn't handle floor nursing or hardly ever experienced it at all.
I leave behind a lot of families and patients that thought I was a great nurse. But when you can't please one in a hundred or more you are a bad nurse. People don't understand the level of demands on a nurse. It is a downright abusive field with little to no appreciation surrounded by many people who are disappointed with their jobs and their choice in the career.
My final blow: After 3 years of sweating to please my last employer and taking the abuse of never hearing anything good - only bad. I went back to agency and went back to a hospital that I worked at 3 years ago. I knew that this hospital had a bad reputation for poor bedside care. Half the staff of any unit could easily be float and agency. The regular staff on the floor was made up of mostly young girls in tight spandex and inviting clothes working on socializing with doctors and hanging out at the desk all day long. Call lights were on non-stop but these girls would not answer them. The techs were busting their tails here. The agency nurses were working but the in house floats were sitting and socializing too. I ended up with a patient with a very bad attitude that was a complainer and law-suit happy. She was furious that for 4 days not one person followed through with obtaining her records from another hospital. It fell on me. I also had a patient admitted with respiratory distress which she shared a room with and could see I was busy. With her personality, she was angry at the moaning of the elderly lady who couldn't breath and was determined to get me to stop and cater to her to get on those records. When I got my respiratory patient stablized, I did just that. Turns out that the other hospital never received any fax requesting the information. This lady hated every person she had contact with at that hospital and wanted to call an agency to get them shut down. I'm sure you know the type by now. So....guess what. I was told today that I was not welcome back because of her complaint. I would literally pull a chair up and sit next to this lady and let her vent. I gave her my heart and I got booted. The nurse that she had the next day was a guy that sat around socializing and didn't care one bit about her. He was regular staff and he was NOT going to go out of his way. They all get to keep their jobs but the nurse that took the time out to take care of her is out the door.
I need a job or I wouldn't take the abuse. But, I know for a fact that this hospital is never going to get it. They were like that 3 years ago and now they have more floats and more agency staffing them. This is a big and reputable hospital.
The hospital I worked at for 3 years was dumping more and more tasks on the nurses and they were all unhappy and complaining. We lost good hard working techs and they were replaced with people who didn't want to work or nursing students who were tired when they came to work and were kicking their feet up taking it easy. Management loved those people.
I suffer from spinal degeneration and pain and I never get to sit down. My job is harder because they are not pulling their weight.
There is nothing left. I still owe for my loan and I am scared to death to take another nursing job. I know it is not going to be any different. I hurt. I lost my insurance and after all that I worked for I have nothing to show for it but bills and a destroyed ego and heart. I feel as though I am the misfit. I am the one who isn't right. I am wrong. I can't even bring myself to waste time on another application since I don't want anything to do with this career any more. I am going to lose my home, my vehicle and everything else.
I have noticed that the field is being taken over by young graduates who are more worried about looking sexy and socializing than working. Patient satisfaction has gone down the tubes and the senior skilled nurses are getting nowhere in this field. There is nothing anyone can do. We all know it is happening but we can't do anything about it.
Hi i just wanted to clarify- this is "supposed " to be a cardiac stepdown, post interventional floor- not med surg per se, altho they fill us up with med surg pts on the weekends, along with the cardiac pts , gtts etc. cause they cant hacve beds be empty. Thing is we are the only floor able to take art lines( post cath) and the gtts that go with those- so we still get those pts along with the med/surg pts. our normal load would be 4 post cath pts, including gtts. and art lines. I know someone told me to report my situation, but to who?? I told the osd that i was taking the assn under protest- who else am i going to c/o to? oh well, sigh.quote]
Realistically there is no where to report it. They got us. You took the assingment under protest. They won. They always win. But it would be your A double snake if anything went wrong.
Something has got to give.
My cousin has been an aid for years and wants to be a nurse. She also wants to go into biz together (of course after her issues with her mom/my aunt). I told her tonight to forget about nursing because I would be wrong to encourage her to come into this field now. I told her to get her legal degree so we can change things. She may have the resources to do that. I should. I might. I still have lots of thinking to do.
I have my LNC cert. I started to go into law and switched to RN. I could kick myself.....I mean beat myself up black and blue......I am so tempted to go get my legal degree and hit hard! Find nurses that want to sue and just go for it! That's what it takes. That's what we need. If more nurses pursued lawsuits, forget the votes and the congress. Get the publicity, class actions. I don't know. It's not about the money. I'll go to work to make money. I just want to do my job and feel that I did it. Not walk out feeling like I can't even figure out what I did all day except 12 hours of interruptions and most of them unnecessary and minimal bedside skilled nursing care - and that care rushed, unsafe and really didn't have the time to do it right so pray I did and nothing goes wrong. I haven't taken my "2.5" people out (in another topic) so I'm way behind.
Heck, just pencil me in for president this year. I promise to make changes!
We will just take over this world with our PTSD and PMS. We will get things straightened out.
No actual agency work. ICU, ACLS, far away, orientations a month away.
Who would have thought.
NO work. I would have never guessed it.
I don't understand what it is I am supposed to do.
What a waste of time sitting here waiting for them to find work.
I really am done. I can't do the application interview thing. I can't.
15 frickin years and have to get rid of everything I own. I thought I had job security. I can't do the abuse again. The evil witches of nursing administration have destroyed another. I wonder how the 330,000 inactive did.
No actual agency work. ICU, ACLS, far away, orientations a month away.
Who would have thought.
NO work. I would have never guessed it.
I don't understand what it is I am supposed to do.
What a waste of time sitting here waiting for them to find work.
I really am done. I can't do the application interview thing. I can't.
15 frickin years and have to get rid of everything I own. I thought I had job security. I can't do the abuse again. The evil witches of nursing administration have destroyed another. I wonder how the 330,000 inactive did.
Maybe just apply for any job that looks tolerable and pays tolerably? Even if non-nursing? Sounds as though a non-nursing job might be preferable to bedside nursing, esp to hasten your recovery from your prior experiences at the bedside.
Anyway, that might be tepid advice; but hope it helps.
I'm very sorry. You sound like you've been thru your fair share. You said that you were let go when you were the only one that got the job done and listened to the patient vent.
I wouldn't have chosen to be a nurse if it weren't for a nurse just like you whom actually cared. I'm sure you've touched many people's lives that you'll never know how you changed positively that in turn touched many others' lives.
Try to focus on any positive aspects you can and take a vacation to somewhere special to you and just get your thoughts in order. Maybe there is something out there you've been "flirting" with trying but always thought I'll never be able to quit my job to try.
Take care and I hope it works out in the end. :redbeathe
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
YOU are a miracle, it is cool seeing you get strong thru this!!
Be careful of the headhunter - do your homework - k?
PM me....tell me why you say that. My bestfriend's sis has a "headhunter" biz. I have never asked her about hers. This is someone different. I will take whatever info you have to offer. I can't afford any BS. I have my days. I was a grumpy slug today. Didn't do anything. Kind of a tough day for me with my aunt. She is in chemically induced coma and going to stay that way through at least two more surgeries Monday and Thursday. She didn't know going in. Medical team has been good - surgeons and nurses. It's SICU. Got no complaints with the care and treatment of family.
I just hurt.
I said be careful just for the reason that you noted later - a headhunter trying to recruit a friend and promising the moon and stars, getting her all excited, then, letdown ... I am sorry that happened to you. But - maybe the friend's sis would have some luck and be honest w/ you as to what's available?
Sorry about Auntie, at least she is out of it and doesn't know, and she has good care, thank God!
(((((((((( Broken ))))))))
I know someone told me to report my situation, but to who?? I told the osd that i was taking the assn under protest- who else am i going to c/o to? oh well, sigh.
It would be to the state, and yeah, as someone said, you accept the assignment you are kind of stuck w/ it. But still if this is the general rule as to staffing, I'd report the place to the state. Nothing changes as long as you seem to be able and the work keeps getting done! And that is pretty much universal.
I said be careful just for the reason that you noted later - a headhunter trying to recruit a friend and promising the moon and stars, getting her all excited, then, letdown ... I am sorry that happened to you. But - maybe the friend's sis would have some luck and be honest w/ you as to what's available?
Sorry about Auntie, at least she is out of it and doesn't know, and she has good care, thank God!
(((((((((( Broken ))))))))
It would be to the state, and yeah, as someone said, you accept the assignment you are kind of stuck w/ it. But still if this is the general rule as to staffing, I'd report the place to the state. Nothing changes as long as you seem to be able and the work keeps getting done! And that is pretty much universal.
Problem is you can't refuse the assignment without risking turning your life to he** on your job. Only certain people can refuse assignments.
I'm not doing the headhunter thing right now.
So, the actual headhunter experience. When I asked if she was agency she said, "well, not exactly" and avoided the answer. I pretty much guessed it and she didn't flat out ignore it. Leaving suspense like she was some MLM or something.
Well, any way, when she called, she asked the million dollar question.....why did I leave my last job. Reading my posts here.....you can imagine where I went with it. Turns out I'm not ready to go back. If I so much as talk about it or think of it I get SICK. I have had lots of heartburn. Couldn't eat today. I can't even smoke - weird. So, I quit. Was smoking 2 packs a day on that job. NEVER EVEN SMOKED A PACK A DAY BEFORE. Now - maybe 1-5 cigarettes. I think only 2-3 yesterday. I'm pretty sure it's PTSD.
I might as well throw out there that the last manager has an OCD husband who can't work and a child that beats up on her and screams when she wants something (no special diagnosis for it). She is MAJOR co-dep but has quite the mgmt skills down. All of the other units had the opportunity to get extra staff with the move. She chose not to and pushed staff full tilt with full loads and all new floor, lights, phones, everything. But she is a Dale Carnegie scholar when it comes to playing head games with staff. Her favorite charge RN was the most sour, negative person that when she tried picking up work on another floor they kept cancelling her. I think she was the one behind the games about me picking up work elsewhere. Jealous! That's when I snapped. The usual - never hear anything good - nothing bad and then ALL BAD cuz I picked up work to check out another floor. I started off by telling her that she has never come to me to thank me for hard work or compliment me and the only time we talk is when she wants to knock me down. It didn't go over well but I couldn't stomach her. This isn't about a lack of respect for managment it's about the lack of qualifications to be a good manager. She is NOT GOD and has some major psycho social issues in her own little world. She buffaloed the staff and made us work in unsafe environments sucking up to the people that run the unit (who suck up to her) and then for some reason fought to keep a LAZY tech that NO ONE wanted down their hall.
I remember how good it felt that day when I told her the way it was. How great it felt to drive home. Even went visiting with my daughter and granddaughter and had so much fun. But I can't get over the outright lack of appreciation, the abuse and discrimination and I know that so many environments are like that so I can't bring myself to waste my energy ever being stressed like that again. I have absolutely no desire to work under such intense settings for NOTHING. I know there are a lot of patients that loved having me take care of them (and families). But it's not enough.
Maybe homecare when I feel better. I definitely can't go anywhere this sick and bitter. The last two jobs were AWEFUL!
I know that last agency job was a joke. I know the care sucks there. It was too sickening to hear that the week after that agency event a friend of a friend was there and was furious about her care and writing a detailed letter. I personally don't think those letters do anything but cause the hard workers to have to work harder. Oh ya.....and now learn SCRIPTING.
One month - 1 out of 4 days seems ok. Yesterday was bad having to "state" why I left. Set me back clear through today.
Oh so the agency stuff. Made it clear I wanted an assignment. Agencies compete for eachother. The call wasn't made until yesterday for my orientation so needless to say they were filled up and I couldn't get in for another month! I wasted time on that. I was so ticked. I thought the call was made a week earlier. Turns out all the work they have is hours away except for the last two places I worked and they are in desperate need of agency now. Still trying to fill after a month and had been desperate to fill before that. Also, both places tried to do without agency. I know a lot of people got sick of both places and left. Go figure.
Maybe this week....still waiting for this to pass.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
... when she called, she asked the million dollar question.....why did I leave my last job. Reading my posts here.....you can imagine where I went with it. Turns out I'm not ready to go back. If I so much as talk about it or think of it I get SICK. I have had lots of heartburn. Couldn't eat today. I can't even smoke - weird. So, I quit. Was smoking 2 packs a day on that job. NEVER EVEN SMOKED A PACK A DAY BEFORE. Now - maybe 1-5 cigarettes. I think only 2-3 yesterday. I'm pretty sure it's PTSD. ..
I'm pretty sure it is too! Wow, can't smoke - never heard of that one before but it makes all kinds of sense. (I have been able to quit since I stopped nursing btw!)
So what did you tell her when she asked?
Yep I can identify w/ feeling sick just talking about it. I can talk about it now but it's been 4 years! so...
My opinion? If you go back to work now you may relapse even harder, kinda like if you have the flu and don't recover fully first, you may get even sicker the 2nd time. Sounds like you aren't quite "there" yet?
I know how hard it is when the realization hits that your career is over, I am speaking for myself. I sold off many of the things I felt that I could part with, got a small apartment and counted every penny to make it last until I could figure out a way to survive.In my case applied for SSDI as I could no longer work, RA kicked my butt after being fired from my job .If you have to survive you will find the way, it is INCREDIBLY difficult, especially after being terminated and trampled on that way.BUT life away from nursing goes on.
Rest, get support from loved ones, get your ducks in a row and get away from nursing, at least for a while.You've sustained an injury of the heart, time to heal now.I know Ive been there.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Yep I can identify w/ feeling sick just talking about it. I can talk about it now but it's been 4 years! so...
((((((((( BrokenRNheart )))))))
Zoeboboey, you said it!! As tough as I think I am, I too am apparently dealing with PTSD from my last job---the tightening in my gut, the lump in my throat, the pounding heart---every time I re-check this thread, I'm reliving the experience. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, because it reminds me to be grateful for the job I have now even when I get fed up with it. But it's been nearly 2 1/2 years since I left acute care due to abusive management and overwhelming work loads, and I guess I'm not yet over it.
BrokenRNheart, you have come to the right place for support and sympathy; you are definitely NOT alone. Please take care of yourself and keep us posted.....your struggles are shared by more than you know.
:bow::w00t::w00t: Thanks and good luck to you in your new quest!
BrokenRNheart
367 Posts