i am starting my 3rd semester of 4 in about 2 weeks. I am pregnant, due in june,thank God not during the semester. I also have a 2.5 year old. a big issue i have is i am in an abusive marriage. i feel like i want to leave, but im off work now, and my unemployment runs out in end of march. i hate him, it affects my stress level, and my energy level. he is economically abusive too, never helps out etc. i really put myself in a mess. school is very demanding this semester, school 4 full days a week. has anyone had this experience?? i feel like if a can just hang on till graduation, i can be free with a new career.help!!!
Lizz, lighten up. I know what it's like to be in an abusive relationship, feel powerless, and be raped by the jerk. So unless you've walked in those shoes, be slower to judge.
Actually you're right. I've never been in an abusive relationship because I quickly walked away as soon as there were signs of that.
I haven't been raped either, but a guy did try to rape me once. Long story short, I basically tricked him so I could escape.
I know what you mean. I have been thru one divorce. He was very abusive to my children and me. He was an alcholic and sex offender. I got out of it. I remarried. The man I married is not a sex offender but he is lazy and likes to be in control. He yells. My children seem to not to any good. I am going to start school soon and maybe this will help me to get a job so I can move on. i do understand and I wish you luck.:)
Actually you're right. I've never been in an abusive relationship because I quickly walked away as soon as there were signs of that.
This man threatened to take off with my childen (they were 2 and 3) if I showed any signs of trying to leave him. I was young, scared, and very naive (He was the one who I mentioned in another thread who was 16 yrs. older than me). It took awhile before I gained the courage to call his bluff and leave, but I finally did. I left the state, and although he did not come after me in person, he did track me down twice through the years and call. Both times I quickly changed my number.
Thankfully, he did not take off with my children, but if you have read the news lately, you see that sometimes these jerks really do.
I find my relationship with nursing to be abusive. Hospitals, clinics and others that utilize nurses are set up so that institutional and individual abuse of nurses is ongoing. I've been looking high and low for a way out- applying to a university to try for a non-nursing degree, looking into online non-nursing education, applying for non-nursing jobs, but I just can't seem to break free from this "abuser".
I found leaving an abusive man to be far easier than leaving an abusive career.
There are abuse shelters that you can live in w/ your kids. Some will even help you get housing, medical care, and get to school and/or a job. When I was in nursing school, those of us who participated in our student organization did volunteer work for such a place. This was in a small town of about 30,000 people.
Most every metro area has such places. Look in your yellow pages.
You know what you need to do. Get help and get out. You're a mother, so your responsibility is to your children and they should not be subjected to the abuse of their father. There are many programs out there to help women in your situation. Use one of them.
Sorry, but I just don't understand this. If you hate your husband, he's abusive and doesn't support you financially, why did you get pregnant again?
The last thing I would want to do is get pregnant in that kind of situation. But that's just me.
God is this a judgemental thread! Abuse is progressive. It doesn't usually start out as a bad relationship. It just gradually gets worse and worse. I know I was in one before. First you try and be nicer thinking it's you and then one day and wake up and realize it's not you it's them. My guess is the abuse hadn't progressed to this point when she got pregnant. Gees how are you going to make it in the nursing profession being this judgemental and non-caring. Ugh!
I think she said she has finished two of four semesters.
First thing I'd do is get an abortion this week.
Then, make plans to leave, latch onto mama or someone to babysit, get a job, move out.
Resume school after the divorce.
Why on earth would you expect her to have an abortion just because she has an abusive partner. There is absolutely no reason she can't be an excellent mother to that baby. You have all rights to your viewpoints on abortion, but to throw that in this thread, shame on you. She was asking for support.
Hugs to the original poster. It's a difficult position to be in and I can certainly understand your dilemna. You can do this by yourself if you want to. Take out student loans, apply for state assistance.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Originally posted by TeresaRN2b
God is this a judgemental thread! Abuse is progressive. It doesn't usually start out as a bad relationship. It just gradually gets worse and worse. I know I was in one before. First you try and be nicer thinking it's you and then one day and wake up and realize it's not you it's them. My guess is the abuse hadn't progressed to this point when she got pregnant. Gees how are you going to make it in the nursing profession being this judgemental and non-caring. Ugh!
Teresa
Anne-many of us on this board have overcome adversity to get where we are today (it's on another thread elsewhere) You can do anything that you set your mind to......I hope you have some famiily support-and the courage to get out of Dodge....We know that the abuse starts out subtle and escalates and when you finally realize that you are in trouble it is hard to see your way out-when you have been beaten down mentally and physically for a long time you really begin to doubt if you have the sense to come in out of the rain...BUT YOU DO.....If you are truly afraid for your safety then for the sake of your unborn baby and yourself you need to get out NOW....there are many places you can go for help if you don't have family....Or you could stay until you get that nursing license---and then boogie on,reggae women.....Whatever you decide you need to get some counseling and support...good luck
Do not pass "GO", do NOT collect $200...get your toddler, yourself AND your unborn baby AWAY from that fool and into the nearest shelter. As someone else in this thread said, school can wait. YOUR safety, as well as your childrens' CANNOT!
Gees how are you going to make it in the nursing profession being this judgemental and non-caring. Ugh!
Teresa
I dunno. Maybe I'll just be a lousy nurse.
I wasn't trying to be judgemental, although a lot of people read it that way. I guess it's just difficult for me to understand.
Anytime a man has treated me badly, I took off. I guess it's just my personality, but I just can't tolerate it. I'm the type of person who doesn't hestitate to pack my bags and leave, and I have done so many times. I would much rather be alone and on my own, than put up with any type of abuse, even minor abuse, verbal or otherwise. If a man doesn't treat me like gold, I'm outta there. Period.
So I can't imagine hanging around, much less have sex with someone who treated me like that. And, I would definitely have taken precautions if there was trouble on the horizon, because I would be worried about having another kid with an abusive person.
Of course, if the sex wasn't consensual, then that's a different story. But if it was, I do have trouble relating to that kind of situation. Especially if the guy isn't helping out with the bills, which IS a reason I could understand for staying, since there is a child to support.
But if my opinion upsets some people, or somehow makes me a lousy nurse, so be it.
i am starting my 3rd semester of 4 in about 2 weeks. I am pregnant, due in june,thank God not during the semester. I also have a 2.5 year old. a big issue i have is i am in an abusive marriage. i feel like i want to leave, but im off work now, and my unemployment runs out in end of march. i hate him, it affects my stress level, and my energy level. he is economically abusive too, never helps out etc. i really put myself in a mess. school is very demanding this semester, school 4 full days a week. has anyone had this experience?? i feel like if a can just hang on till graduation, i can be free with a new career.help!!!
Sheri257
3,905 Posts
Actually you're right. I've never been in an abusive relationship because I quickly walked away as soon as there were signs of that.
I haven't been raped either, but a guy did try to rape me once. Long story short, I basically tricked him so I could escape.