in an abusive marriage,in nursing school/child 2.5yrs, and due again in june help!!

Browneyedgirl · Jan 18, 2004

I had the abused wife talk with my sister yesterday....

Has the abuse just started?

Does he continue to abuse you while your pregnant?

Does he abuse your born child?

If you've made it through 3 semesters of nursing school, you obviously are an intelligent woman.

Your only choice is to leave or not.

Do you have family to go to? Call the police and file police reports when the abuse occurs? Go to the hospital?

There are usually many options for women. So, either you choose to protect yourself and your children....or stay and put up with the abuse for longer....

This is your choice and nothing I can say

Carolanne · Jan 18, 2004

Hi Anne,

By abusive, do you mean physically? Verbally? Are you and your child(ren) in danger by this man? Perhaps there is family or friends that you can confide in and stay with while you finish out your pregnancy and schooling. You're at the halfway point now in school, but perhaps it's not safe to stay with him until you graduate and are able to support your family. I applaude you for attending school and setting goals for yourself and your family, and most importantly for recognizing an unhealthy situation when you see it. Many women live in denial and things only get worse. Anne, you don't have to live in fear, there are agencies and authorities you can turn to in your area to assure your family's safety and well being. Your toddler and unborn infant are depending on you to make the right decision, and you will. Best of luck to you with everything. :kiss

Sheri257 · Jan 18, 2004

Sorry, but I just don't understand this. If you hate your husband, he's abusive and doesn't support you financially, why did you get pregnant again?

The last thing I would want to do is get pregnant in that kind of situation. But that's just me.

:uhoh3:

ImaEMT · Jan 18, 2004

SOmetimes babies happen, no matter if you intend them to or not. The issue here isn't to start flaming or judging this woman, but to offer support and advice. If anyone here has ever been abused you know how she is feeling, and the trap that she feels she is in.

Why don't women of abuse just up and walk away? Because they feel powerless, and many times, unsupported.

From experience, you WILL be OK if you up and leave. You WILL find a way to manage. Go somewhere safe and don't worry about the other stuff right now. Protect yourself and your children. You are most likely eligable for many benefits from the state and other orginizations as you are a mom, and a full time student, and without an income. You have to make that final choice to go, and you have to do it no matter how many if's, and's and but's are in your mind. Life will work itself out.

I hope you stay safe.

Lisa

allnurses Guide · Jan 18, 2004

I agree with ImaEmt . . . go somewhere safe and forget about the rest right now. Your life and your daughter's life and your unborn child's life is at stake. And things tend to escalate.

Get out now.

steph

Sheri257 · Jan 18, 2004

Originally posted by ImaEMT
Sometimes babies happen, no matter if you intend them to or not. The issue here isn't to start flaming or judging this woman, but to offer support and advice.

I wasn't trying to flame the OP. But when someone says they hate their abusive husband, they're not getting financial support from him either, and they've become pregnant (presumably by the same guy) fairly recently ...

The story doesn't make much sense. At least to me. It would make a lot more sense if she were still getting financial support and was trapped in that way. Perhaps I am unusual in this regard but anytime I've seen any guy get abusive in anyway, verbally or otherwise, I left faster than you could blink. I certainly didn't get intimate with him. But then, again, that's just me.

Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN · Jan 18, 2004

Originally posted by ImaEMT
.........Why don't women of abuse just up and walk away?.......
Lisa

Many do. I did. I knew what I had to do in order to have a life. I made a plan, and carried it out.

Without the help of any taxpayer money, I might add. The OP can do the same if this is what she really wants.

All the best of luck to her. She knows what she needs to do. She just has to do it.

Peppermint · Jan 18, 2004

Sheri257 · Jan 18, 2004

Maybe you're right Peppermint. I guess I'm too skeptical.

There's been a series of news stories about people posting hard luck stories on the net. They were smart enough not to ask for money, but people sympathized and sent money. Turns out it was a scam.

I'm not saying this is happening here, but perhaps this has affected my view of some of the posts we see on this board. Everybody tends to accept these posts at face value, but I tend to be more skeptical. I guess that comes off as insensitive or picking on someone, although that's not my intent.

I do hope I am wrong and you are right. But I sincerely doubt that anybody knows for sure what's really happening in all of the situations posted on this board.

passing thru · Jan 18, 2004

I think she said she has finished two of four semesters.

First thing I'd do

Edit this post. Too much reality.

Dixen81 · Jan 18, 2004

Lizz, lighten up. I know what it's like to be in an abusive relationship, feel powerless, and be raped by the jerk. So unless you've walked in those shoes, be slower to judge.

Anne, this was many years ago when I was young and had two toddlers. Help IS out there! You being a young mother and full-time student makes you eligible for all kinds of aid. I would suggest you speak with your school counselor for any suggestions. Also check with local shelters and/or agencies on where to go for housing assistance. I think I went through HUD. You ought to be able to get enough food stamps to cover the groceries. Please stay in school if at all possible. The "finish line" is near and you will be able to get on your feet.

Best wishes! :kiss