i'll admit to being somewhat cranky today, and this is a vent. this is only a vent. please do not accuse me of being mean to or mistreating anyone i'm venting about! but i swear, people's parents neglected to teach them manners!
the hospital cafeteria has wifi, and i know that you're bored waiting for uncle zeke to get out of surgery. it's great that you can sit in the cafeteria with your laptop and surf the net. however when lunchtime comes and you're not eating, just surfing, please get up and go somewhere else so that all those people standing around with trays full of food and peering around for an empty table can sit down and eat!
didn't your mother teach you that it's rude to sit in front of grandma, who is npo for the or, and eat your tacos or fried chicken? grandma can't eat and she's very hungry. please go somewhere else to eat your bagful of fast food and come visit grandma when you're done.
poppop had surgery, he's getting diuresed, his mouth is dry and all he wants is a big glass of water which he cannot have. it's rude to sit there and slurp on your big gulp in front of him.
i know you're a brand new np and all, and very proud of your degree, your knowledge base and your new prescribing priveledges. you would look every so much more professional, though, if you weren't chewing a big ole wad of gum with your mouth open and snapping, cracking, popping and blowing bubbles!
yes, the intensivist is slow, he's boring and he's old fashioned. it's excrutiating to watch him tackle the keyboard on a cow. but that's no excuse to be on the other cow shopping for stilettos during rounds! nor is it cool to be texting your husband, your best friend, or your husband's best friend instead of paying attention to what the nurse has to say.
i know you graduated from man's best nursing school last month and that therefore you think you know everything. but please, i'd rather have you ask what you think is a really stupid question than try to give blood through a d5w carrier, use ffp as a carrier or push dilantin through tpn. and it's really not cool to give the 20 meq of kcl iv push, either!
i know that you think 15-b's 20 or so relatives who average two teeth and thirty-two tattoos each are immensely entertaining. i might think so, too, if i could get past them to take care of the patient. we have rules that state only two visitors at a time -- please enforce them. if you let all and sundry hang out in the patient room eating their kfc and drinking their big gulps (see above) and then i tell them they need to follow the rules about no food, no drinks and only two visitors at a time, i become the mean nurse. that's not fair!
i appreciate that you're 30 years younger than me and ever so much more good looking than i ever dreamed of being. that does not mean, however, that it's cool to roll your scrub pants down to your hips so that your thong pokes out the top even when you're not bending over. nor is the push-up bra that's spilling the girls out your v neck very professional, either!
please hang up the cell phone so i can assess you. please get off facebook -- you're sitting in my chair and using my computer and that's just not cool. and please, if you work here, come and help me clean up poop even if the packers are winning in the next room!
