Absence of Manners

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i'll admit to being somewhat cranky today, and this is a vent. this is only a vent. please do not accuse me of being mean to or mistreating anyone i'm venting about! but i swear, people's parents neglected to teach them manners!

the hospital cafeteria has wifi, and i know that you're bored waiting for uncle zeke to get out of surgery. it's great that you can sit in the cafeteria with your laptop and surf the net. however when lunchtime comes and you're not eating, just surfing, please get up and go somewhere else so that all those people standing around with trays full of food and peering around for an empty table can sit down and eat!

didn't your mother teach you that it's rude to sit in front of grandma, who is npo for the or, and eat your tacos or fried chicken? grandma can't eat and she's very hungry. please go somewhere else to eat your bagful of fast food and come visit grandma when you're done.

poppop had surgery, he's getting diuresed, his mouth is dry and all he wants is a big glass of water which he cannot have. it's rude to sit there and slurp on your big gulp in front of him.

i know you're a brand new np and all, and very proud of your degree, your knowledge base and your new prescribing priveledges. you would look every so much more professional, though, if you weren't chewing a big ole wad of gum with your mouth open and snapping, cracking, popping and blowing bubbles!

yes, the intensivist is slow, he's boring and he's old fashioned. it's excrutiating to watch him tackle the keyboard on a cow. but that's no excuse to be on the other cow shopping for stilettos during rounds! nor is it cool to be texting your husband, your best friend, or your husband's best friend instead of paying attention to what the nurse has to say.

i know you graduated from man's best nursing school last month and that therefore you think you know everything. but please, i'd rather have you ask what you think is a really stupid question than try to give blood through a d5w carrier, use ffp as a carrier or push dilantin through tpn. and it's really not cool to give the 20 meq of kcl iv push, either!

i know that you think 15-b's 20 or so relatives who average two teeth and thirty-two tattoos each are immensely entertaining. i might think so, too, if i could get past them to take care of the patient. we have rules that state only two visitors at a time -- please enforce them. if you let all and sundry hang out in the patient room eating their kfc and drinking their big gulps (see above) and then i tell them they need to follow the rules about no food, no drinks and only two visitors at a time, i become the mean nurse. that's not fair!

i appreciate that you're 30 years younger than me and ever so much more good looking than i ever dreamed of being. that does not mean, however, that it's cool to roll your scrub pants down to your hips so that your thong pokes out the top even when you're not bending over. nor is the push-up bra that's spilling the girls out your v neck very professional, either!

please hang up the cell phone so i can assess you. please get off facebook -- you're sitting in my chair and using my computer and that's just not cool. and please, if you work here, come and help me clean up poop even if the packers are winning in the next room!

Specializes in LTC, Acute care.

Had a patient the other day who kept her face and fingers glued to her

phone, not bothering to look up or answer questions I needed to know to effectively care for her. She was soooooo very rude and demanded that everything be done for her, no, she wasn't disabled in any way. Just about 6:30, she stormed out of her room and yelled at me asking me where her doctor was and when I told her I had no idea she stormed off to the nurses' station.

By this time, I had sat down to finish up my charting and compile my report for the oncoming shift. She stormed back and asked me where everyone was as the nurses' station was empty, of course I had no idea where everyone was and I told her that (but I suspected they were all trying to round up their day like me) and she then screamed that I needed to get up and go find them, get her the doctor's phone number since whatever I was doing on the computer wasn't that important. At this point I'd been abused enough so I just sat with folded arms and looked at her, not sure if I should feel pity at her immaturity or if I should lose my temper. When she realized I was not going to get up from the chair and do any of her bidding, she flew back to her room with muttering curse words under her breath (and some loudly).

Some days, it just takes a lot of tuning out and a thick skin to not let people's bad behavior ruin my day.

Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.
I once had an assignment consisting of a dying man and an old selfish bat.

This made me laugh. I actually gasped after I read your story. People are ridiculous.

To all the vistors:

Do NOT storm up to the nurses station at report time DEMANDING things like a towel, a cup of ice, water, etc. Especially if you have been visiting PopPop for the last 3 days and you are well aware shift change happens every day at 18:45.

And do NOT stand there with your arms crossed once we have told you we are in report and we'll get in there as soon as we can. You will be asked to go back to PopPop's room due to HIPAA. If you continue to stand there, you will be asked to leave by security.

Afrocentric you would be surprise at the fact that most people ,do not know when the staff are giving report ,so as a professional we would have to be patient and explain to the family members what you are doing,I guess I just believe that as nurses you should be professional and courteous to families because they are just as anxious if not more than the patient who is a family member ,so we should not add to that anxiety by being rude or ignoring the family

Specializes in Vascular Access Nurse.

nina, most pts and family members who are in the hospital for more than a few days have a very good idea when report is done. and those who are demanding are most often the "frequent flyers" and their families. of course we'll be polite, but we also have to be firm in our stance that mrs. jones can wait a bit to have her bed bath because we're giving very important information to each other regarding the pts and should not be interrupted during report unless it's urgent. most pts and families are very understanding and appreciative, but we all can think of those who aren't. yesterday a pt said to me "well, i am the most important pt on the floor" after i told him that his nurse was with another pt but would be in as soon as she could. :eek:

At this point I'd been abused enough so I just sat with folded arms and looked at her, not sure if I should feel pity at her immaturity or if I should lose my temper. When she realized I was not going to get up from the chair and do any of her bidding, she flew back to her room with muttering curse words under her breath (and some loudly).

I like your reaction.

I do the same thing, sometimes, when people go on a tirade but I also cock my head to side, and ask, "Are you done yet?"

Heh.

They don't know what to do with it and their reaction is funny to me.

With the exception of the young RNs (who are intentionally advertising their "assets"), the others are just plain CLUELESS!

Great post!

Specializes in None.

Oh and rolling the scrubs down? Honestly? Girls hanging out of the scrub top? Next thing you know there will be an IV pole dancing class for the nurses that actually think it's ok to dress like this! UGH!

Now that's funny!

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
afrocentric you would be surprise at the fact that most people ,do not know when the staff are giving report ,so as a professional we would have to be patient and explain to the family members what you are doing,i guess i just believe that as nurses you should be professional and courteous to families because they are just as anxious if not more than the patient who is a family member ,so we should not add to that anxiety by being rude or ignoring the family

this is a vent thread. it is a safe and appropriate place for nurses to vent about the infuriating people we encounter daily in our jobs. it is rude (and lacking in manners) to "step on a vent" to tell nurses that they need to be professional and patient, that they should be courteous, that families are anxious and that we should not be rude. we all get that. stop preaching to the choir.

I think with some minor edits, this can be sent out to:

* Dear Abby, Dear Miss Manners, Ask Heloise

* the Hospital's monthly newsletter

* the Letters to the Editor in your local paper

* several nursing journals

Points well taken, and the public needs to be reminded of their manners.

Good job!

A.

Specializes in ER,ICU.

OMG!!!! I am so glad I am OUT of nursing. Things have only gotten worse than they were before I left. I was dealing with the Gen X new nurses that had no idea why they should show up for a scheduled shift when they didn't feel like working that day. Yes you are right to vent. I keeps you from screaming at the idiots you have to deal with every day visitors, patients and the worst your own fellow nurses! I went into nursing many years ago when nurses were proud of their "profession" (not job). As a new grad I was in awe. Scared also but I would have worked for free for the first month. Then I realized very quickly how much we gave and did not get back. I kept giving for the next 30 years to my patients my staff and my family. After awhile there wasn't anything left to give. Thankfully I was able to leave before I no longer cared. I see people in their first few years of nursing who don't care about the job, their profession, the safety of the patient and themselves.

Rant on! Maybe someone will recognize themself????

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