A rought night at work

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Good Morning,

I just got back from a rough night at work and I'm kind of upset about it. I work someplace that I love. I work with wonderful patients, and some fantastic nurses. The upside is that since finishing school, I have learned so much (honestly). The downside is the bullying that seems to go on with new people. I feel like I need to be on guard all the time. I wonder if this is a right of passage that some of you have dealt with.

Any advice?

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I'm am pretty passive, so learning the fine art of "push-back" was new for me. Grow a spine (sorry to be tough on you). Enable your inner Donald Trump (or whoever you think is tough in business) and you will probably find yourself feeling bullied less.

Yes, I think this is a rite of passage for newbies. When docs and other disciplines see that you will take NO, I repeat NO crap, they will quit trying.

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Sounds like good advice. I appreciate your response.

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Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

I don't get bullied, because I don't allow it. Period. I am the nicest person in the world until people aren't nice to me. When they see my kindness as weakness and think they can say or do something to belittle me they see how very wrong they are about it. You can stick up for yourself without yelling, swearing or stooping to their level.

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Since you work with fantastic nurses--your words--who is doing the bullying? Could you elaborate? What specialty?

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Shay, did that develop over time? (or has this been your approach since the start?). Your feedback also makes sense, so thanks too!

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Clarification: The physicians are so nice to me, I mean it! The majority of the nursing staff, as I mentioned before are wonderful too. There are a number of people on the nursing (RN, CNA, LPN, Aides etc) group that are the issue.

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Specializes in ICU.

It will take time, just remind yourself that they are missing out on knowing YOU, a really terrific person. Do not doubt yourself. Another positive route is to help out someone else the minute you see a need, no matter what it is. Believe me, they will quickly grow to love you. We are not much higher than the animal kingdom, who sniff each other out. So stand tall, and let the sniffers sniff....they will learn to trust you.

vivere

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Wherever you work there are going to be people that try to push your limits. It's not a "nursing" thing, it's not a "eating your young" thing, it's a LIFE thing. You can take it, or you can stick up for yourself, or you can choose your battles and do a bit of both. I tend to recommend the third.

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Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

I have worked with lots of "bullies" two in particular. The first one I quit my job because she became totally unbearable that I wallked off the job, not recommended. Then I found the job of my dreams and was there for 15 yrs until they sold out. But the Bully there was horrible! I swore to myself she was NOT gonna run me off. She attacked me the first night I was there. She told me I didn't know squat about ICU/CCU base knowledege. All I said was "How do you know? You never met me until 5 hours ago"

I was taught to ignore bullies in grade school and if you can't and they hit you hit em back as hard as you can. I have to tell you something though. That nurse ran of at least a dozen nurses and techs She was a witch. She died a few months ago I was told there was no obituary and no funeral. Her own family just stuck her in the ground and walked off. Too me that is just the saddest thing I had ever heard. Bullies are unhappy and lonely and will do anything to hurt liike they hurt

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Specializes in MSP, Informatics.

Jay, you will find that almost every job has those high school click throw backs. those kids that would push arround people in the playground, on the bus, etc,....they grew up, and are still bullies. It manifests itself as small meaningless clicks. we ahve them in our hospital. I would think everyone has dealt with them from time to time.

Just from your posts, you seem to be a bigger person than those clicks. Once they realize that, they move on. Always there to prey on the newbies.

just like in high school, don't pay them any attention. You will be fine.

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

don't let them get to you because they're not worth it. really, they aren't. as has been suggested above, be helpful to the max, be kind and don't let your face show what you're feeling inside. that just gives them more ammunition to work with. smile (if it kills you) and ask how their time off was, how their kids and grandkids are etc. it'll drive them crazy while making you look like a bigger person.

they will get tired of picking on you if they think you aren't miserable and will move on to a new target.

just like when they were on the playground years ago.

hugs,

kathy

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

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