Some recent threads have addressed the issue of infants leaving the mom's room for care. I know we have all had pts who insisted that a parent accompany baby out of the room for any reason. This is probably going to open a can of worms, but it's something that has always managed to make me feel a bit defensive - like they think I'm going to do something evil or stick a rubber nipple in the kid's mouth the minute I'm out of sight! It just always rattled my chain as a professional.
OF COURSE the parents have every right to go with their babies, and in my rational mind I know I'm being silly. But I'm curious - have you ever BEEN one of those parents? If so, what was your concern based on? Especially I would like to hear from those who are not OB nurses who read posts here.
And let's all assume that we realize most procedures can be done in the mom's room (PKU's, hearing screens, etc), but we all know that some hospitals do it differently. We will leave that discussion for another day!
When working healthy pp, I have had some patients who wanted to be there all the time with the baby. Usually, I think it was just because they were so infatuated with this new human they had created that they didn't want to leave him/her alone for an instant:) I didn't take any offense at it. There were one or 2 times that I thought the parents just didn't trust the nurse, and I just took a deep breath and told myself I wasn't going to change their view in one shift and tried to let it go.
Working in the NICU is another matter. Our babies are often here for a very long time and parents neeeeeeeeed to go home and get rest. I don't encourage parents to stay in the room for procedures that are somewhat difficult (like LPs, or IV insertions, etc) because it is stressful for them and can make the nurse or doctor uncomfortable which makes the task harder on the baby. If they do want to stay in, I don't force the matter. I just explain what will happen and let it. I find the "parents don't trust the staff" attitude is much more common in the NICU, but I tell myself a lot of that has to do with their loss of control.
...I find the "parents don't trust the staff" attitude is much more common in the NICU, but I tell myself a lot of that has to do with their loss of control.
Bingo! I think you hit the nail on the head, fergus51.
I'm one of those parents. I also worked as a peds nurse and i never could understand those nurses who took offense to the parent wanting to be present at all times.
As a mom when i had both my sons, i put it in my birth plan that my child was NOT to leave the room unattended by either myself or my husband. my first son my DH carried out of the room to the nursery for all the stuff he needed done while i recovered from an unplanned c/s. My second son, my DH was present while i lost blood, holding the baby and talking to me, until my son started with TTN and had to have intervention. He still stayed thru everything. We were seperated for 6 hours due to the TTN and after that i DEMANDED to see my son. So i went vomiting in a w/c and held and bonded with him for an hour. After he recovered, he roomed in.
Most nurses and docs were very accomodating, it seemed the older nurses (as in nurses for many years) were the ones who were defensive about it. it had nothing to do with the staff, but we felt as parents the baby was OURS to love, nuture and PROTECT. Many staff members act like its their property til they release the baby to us, which simply isn't the case these days.
I agree with the other poster, as a peds nurse i always explained EVERYTHING before and during what i was doing, and it usually helped tons. I always gave the option of staying or leaving the room, but encouraged staying. I agree its more of a loss of control that most parents fear, i know we did.
I work oncology, have been a nurse for 9 years and just had my first baby in march. I was NOT one of those parents.
I had a c/s. The baby was in my husbands arms, right beside me after delivery. I held and BF her in recovery, and held her as the wheeled me to my room. She left our room for a bath 3 hrs after delivery. I was not worried at all. After about 15 mins, my husband when looking for her and I just laughed. The only other time she left my room was on the 2nd night at about 3am. She was nursing non stop for 8 hrs, would break the latch and scream over and over. The nurse and I decided to try an ounce of formula by a cup. She offered to do at the desk so I could sleep. I had NO problem with it at all.
I felt very comfortable with the staff caring for my baby out of my sight.
Me too. I prefered to be with and have my baby with me at all times. Mostly because I felt like the nurses are soooo busy with all the bottlefed babies and I wanted to breast feed on demand. Being a nurse I wanted to be a "perfect pt" and rarely used my call bell....stupid me...after my c/s my hubby had to beg me to ask for a pain pill... I felt like I didn't want to nag anyone. One nurse even came in to see if "I was still alive, I haven't heard from you all shift" (nor did she check my incision or assess me, but thats an other story!!!)
I think I wanted my baby with me because I was alittle infatuated with the little bugger at the time, too!
I'm one of those parents... let's turn the scenario around - we could say a parent could be defensive if someone acted insistant on taking their (healthy) baby without one of the parents (rather than the nurse be defensive b/c the parent asked to go with). It goes both ways. Some people would feel distrusting if someone was pushy about taking the baby and didn't offer for you to be present. Is there something to hide? Probably not but it's easy to get that feeling, especially if you have "heard" stories of things happening that you fear. Why do you need to take the baby alone? If there were a valid reason I'd probably be happy to oblige, but I'm not sure what that reason would be in a healthy routine delivery.
In my case, I really had no fear of the baby being kidnapped, but I know for a fact (from both nurses who work there and from other moms) that some particular nurses at my local hospitals WILL give a bottle without consent if it's late, mom is tired and they want to comfort baby and "let mom rest". That's just an example. By the time I had my third I knew my nurse and I trusted her completely, that had nothing to do with it, but I just feel that newborn has a need to be with mom if reasonably possible. The hospital I went to has no need to take a healthy baby anyway, except for screening tests - and that actually went much smoother due to my going along... I nursed while the baby got the hearing test and he was silent and happy the whole time (was crying before) - made it super easy for everyone and everyone was happy - nurse, mom, & baby :)
I am not a big nature freak or anything, but I'm sure at some level we share similarities with other animals... you don't mess with a mama and her babies, it's just protective and instinctual for some people and I think it would be stranger if there weren't a little bit of this emotion from a mom. I think if a mom doesn't have a little of this feeling she either really is very exhausted and doesn't have anyone there that she wants to help her or is just deferring to authority rather than what her feelings are telling her. Another example I bet you guys can understand- some labors are inhibited by too many people, commotion, & stress and do better "like the animals do" in a removed, quiet area.
Anyhow, I don't think it's anything that we should be defensive about. Look at it from the perspective that these parents are being conscientious and interested - that's good. They would probably be the type to appreciate a lot of the teaching knowledge you have to share with them.
I'm so glad that you all had healthy normal newborns. Not like some of the babies we see that for the first few hours appear to be normal babies......really, they are little time bombs ticking away. It's good that the pp nurses checking the babies realized that something wasn't quite right and allowed the babies to come to the level II to be observed. This gives us time to watch the babes, and the monitors without the baby being held.....to run some labs, get x-rays......resp rate not TOO high.
Two different families, a few days apart. Both babies left for the level three, while on ventilators. Both have major cardiac defects, and both kids would have died if left in their rooms. One has TAPVR, the other, probable HLF and other malformations.
We really don't want to run off with your kids, just give us the chance to do our jobs.
I'm so glad that you all had healthy normal newborns. Not like some of the babies we see that for the first few hours appear to be normal babies......really, they are little time bombs ticking away. It's good that the pp nurses checking the babies realized that something wasn't quite right and allowed the babies to come to the level II to be observed. This gives us time to watch the babes, and the monitors without the baby being held.....to run some labs, get x-rays......resp rate not TOO high.
Two different families, a few days apart. Both babies left for the level three, while on ventilators. Both have major cardiac defects, and both kids would have died if left in their rooms. One has TAPVR, the other, probable HLF and other malformations.
We really don't want to run off with your kids, just give us the chance to do our jobs.
I couldn't agree more. However, i think that most parents WANT their children looked after. But immediately after birth, usually a nurse is in the room QUITE frequently the first few hours after the birth. At least that was the case for my son.
I don't think its a "give us a chance" thing. I know most don't question the nurses. But its hard as a mother to have a child grow in your belly for 10 mths, then be seperated and not question or complain. Its like half of you is missing, cuz honestly it is!!!!!
Of course some babies need help and I don't think most of these parents would oppose that at all. I don't know anyone who would. But the majority of babies are normal and healthy and so it doesn't apply.
"We really don't want to run off with your kids, just give us the chance to do our jobs."
In both hospitals in my town, the nurseries are not used unless there is a problem (and then it there's a real problem they are flown out so most of the time the nursery doesn't even have lights on, though sometimes a mom will request that a nurse take the baby for a rest). They are true LDPR so it's not like there's contention between patients and nurses re: nurses taking the babies out, they don't usually anyway except for screening.
There is one other hospital that people in my town use that does it the old fashioned way w/ observation time, regular nursery usage, etc.
Just reading this post makes me glad that nothing ever happened to my three babies while hospitalized.
I had two babies in military hospitals, and one baby in a civilian hospital. I enjoyed the civilian hospital care over and above the military hospital and care. I'm SURE things have IMPROVED greatly since I had my children who are now 27, 29, and 33 years of age. The treatment was AWFUL then, EXCEPT for the baby I birthed in a civilian hospital (my last child). I'd thought I'd died and gone to heaven after I gave birth to her. The care was superb! They waited on me hand and foot, and even made my bed for me; offered to take the baby to the nursery so I could sleep, brought my meal trays to the bedside (didn't have to go to a dining hall and fetch my own tray like I did with baby one), and saw the nurses a LOT. Heck, the doctors and the pediatricians showed up a lot more in the civilian hospital at that time versus the docs I saw during my first two deliveries. Moms giving birth today have it soooooooooooo much nicer than in the olden days. Count your blessings Moms. You wouldn't believe how good you've got it today! :)
Most parents who want their babies all of the time are very reasonable. I have encountered a few over the years who tried to refuse baby going to nursery for complications (resp. distress, extremely low blood sugars, etc.) All of them came around when the seriousness of the situation was adequately explained to them. As for me, I was o.k. w/ all 3 of mine going to the nursery. The oldest arrested in the FTN and went to NICU for a week. Maybe some parents don't think their babies get enough personal attention in the nursery or maybe they are just very attached. That's not me, but that's ok. To me, valid reasons for the baby being in the nursery include the health of the baby and mom's request to rest , but they don't include archaic hospital policies or nurses who try to force their wishes on others. Some parents are very nervous about things like baby switching or abduction. Others are not. I guess we all live in the same world, but we often interpret it in different ways. I try my best to accomadate my patients wishes and gain their trust and respect, even though my personal opinions may differ.
I gave birth to both of my children in overseas military hospitals.
After the birth of our second child, I awoke in the middle of the night to see someone walk out, pushing my son's bassinet out of my room. I was terrified!!! No one had told me they were going to any kind of testing in the middle of the night, nor did anyone wake me to let me know.
I jumped up and ran down the hall to catch the nurse.
I was really upset that no one had take tne time to tell me. I was terrifying to wake up to someone walking out the door with your baby.
I'm one of those that prefer to stay with my newborn babies.... of course, I'm the kind that doesn't allow my children to run free around our neighborhood either. They are 10 and 13, and we live on a military base. Our rule is, I should be able to look out any of our three doors and see them playing. I couldn't imagine having any less lax rules when they are newborns.
fergus51
6,620 Posts
When working healthy pp, I have had some patients who wanted to be there all the time with the baby. Usually, I think it was just because they were so infatuated with this new human they had created that they didn't want to leave him/her alone for an instant:) I didn't take any offense at it. There were one or 2 times that I thought the parents just didn't trust the nurse, and I just took a deep breath and told myself I wasn't going to change their view in one shift and tried to let it go.
Working in the NICU is another matter. Our babies are often here for a very long time and parents neeeeeeeeed to go home and get rest. I don't encourage parents to stay in the room for procedures that are somewhat difficult (like LPs, or IV insertions, etc) because it is stressful for them and can make the nurse or doctor uncomfortable which makes the task harder on the baby. If they do want to stay in, I don't force the matter. I just explain what will happen and let it. I find the "parents don't trust the staff" attitude is much more common in the NICU, but I tell myself a lot of that has to do with their loss of control.