A parent with baby at all times?

LisaRN2B · Dec 6, 2003

No, I was never that kind of parent...BUT, I can see how some may be that way.

My first baby, I was totally lost...had Lamaze classes, breast feeding class...the whole nine yards. I didn't even have a clue that there were diapers stored in the drawer of the isolette after my daughter was born. No one told me crap...I had trouble breast feeding, my daughter wasn't wanting to latch on right...the nurse grabbed my breast and shoved it in my daughters mouth :eek: which my daughter promptly spat out and latched on to her own liking. (Not flaming here, just telling of my particular experience in this situation.) Nurses would come in and ask if I wanted them to take the baby to the nursery so I could rest...OK...fine, but please, no bottles of formula, bring her back when she's hungry. I slept well...and for hours. I don't remember exactly how long it was, maybe 4 or 5 hours later, I wake up and press the call button to have her brought in to me, feeling awful knowing I slept that long and hadn't fed my newborn and I just knew she must be screaming. The smiling nurse brings her to me, neatly swaddled, quiet and content and announces that she really liked the bottle of formula she was given!!!!! I didn't go off on her, but I said I had told the nurse I was strictly wanting to breast feed and didn't want my baby given formula. Oh, well, too late now. (It was 15 years ago and at the time in my area having the babe in with mom the whole time in her room was not in practice too much).

I have had two more children since then, and had other things happen in a similar way. I don't plan on having any more, but if I did I might dog the nurses footsteps more nowadays having had the experiences I've had. It's nothing personal, really. Maybe, just maybe, these parents have had similar things happen or have heard stories from friends and family members that make them feel compelled to be there every second to make sure their wishes regarding the care of their babies are carried out as they desire. Just a thought.

I want to mention as well, that I never thought any of the nurses were out to do my baby any real "harm, ' they were trying to do what they thought best at the time I am sure.

Sorry this is so long.

judy ann · Dec 6, 2003

Another reason that some families demand to stay with the baby is that they are concerned about babies being swithced or kidnapped. You can explain the ID bracelets all you want, but they still don't believe that the child won't get switched. So far as kidnapping, I doubt the baby is any less apt to be taken in the mother's room. As a matter of fact, the only time I worked in an OB department that had a baby taken, it was taken from the mom's room while the mom was AWAKE!:)

LisaRN2B · Dec 6, 2003

Originally posted by judy ann
Another reason that some families demand to stay with the baby is that they are concerned about babies being swithced or kidnapped. You can explain the ID bracelets all you want, but they still don't believe that the child won't get switched. So far as kidnapping, I doubt the baby is any less apt to be taken in the mother's room. As a matter of fact, the only time I worked in an OB department that had a baby taken, it was taken from the mom's room while the mom was AWAKE!:)

That could be part of it, too. I was instructed at admission that I was not to let anyone take the baby out of the room without the nurse checking the baby's band and mine and making sure the nurses badge was visible and correct. The nurses were great about that, and if one had acted any other way I would not have let them out of the room with my child.

That prospect is scary, though. I think security measures are much better now than they used to be (aren't they?).

To the OP...after working as a nurse for 16 years, you have this stuff down and know the procedures like the back of your hand. As a mother/parent in this situation everything is so new the first time around and sometimes scary. Even after the first, since being in the hospital is not an everyday occurance, I think a mom is kind of more "on guard" than anything else. Those hormones after childbirth can do strange things to us for some time after giving birth...but I know you know that already, you've seen it firsthand, almost every day. I am sure it is hard to not feel that your professionalism is being questioned when parents act like they never want to lose sight of their little one, but truly, I would say the majority of the time it is more about them and their new little pride and joy and not so much about what they think of you. They are just not taking that into consideration that it might make a nurse feel that way.

mandykatrn · Dec 6, 2003

Well.... I was one who had to be with my son when he left the room. The reason being the procedures were going to be painful and I didn't want him to be alone (circumcision, and blood draw for hemophilia testing - that was the worst seeing his tiny hand being stuck several times because the vein kept getting missed!). His dad was there for those procedures too, and I was glad! Everything else: the newborn assessment, pku, hearing screen, were all done in our hospital room. So I can totally relate to those parents who want to accompany their newborns out of the rooms!! Never once did it occur to me to not trust the nurse (I thought they were wonderful -- they are the reason I went into nursing!). All I cared about was being there for my son.

~j

judy ann · Dec 6, 2003

FYI: the baby in a previous posting was taken by a lady that had taken a nurse's lab coat, and the nurse (stupid as she was) had left her ID on the coat. The taker had, however been hanging around the unit for a couple of days, and was suspected right away. She told the mom that she needed to take the baby to the nursery for some lab work. When the baby was gone longer than the mom was comfortable with, she called the nsy and asked that they bring the baby out. All Hell broke loose, but the baby was gone. There was a security camera in the lobby and it got a good picture of her. It took several hours, but she was caught trying to buy diapers and formula at a 7-11. She just wanted a baby.:)

LisaRN2B · Dec 6, 2003

OMG, judy ann...

All of the nurses ID's had their pics on them in the hospital where I delivered all three of my kids...I always looked at the ID's and if I couldn't see them clearly I asked the nurse for a closer look. No one ever had a problem with that.

That would have been a horrid experience. I am glad she was caught and the baby returned!

Browneyedgirl · Dec 6, 2003

Simply because these were my babies....and any need they had....any tears they cried....I wanted to comfort them or have my husband comfort them.....

That's our job as parents...to protect and comfort....... to be there from the very beginning

It had nothing to do with the nurses. We did rooming in...My husband even carried our children to the nursery and watched the newborn bath, etc...and brought our girls back to me.

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 6, 2003

I am

"one of those nurses"

who ENCOURAGES PARENTS TO ACCOMPANY baby with me for procedures, when needed, such as PKU, footprinting, weights ,etc.

For INTENSE procedures, like starting IV's on sick babies, I allow them to watch but if they become extremely upset or aggitated, I encourage them to take a break. It's not every parent who can handle this well. But explaining CLEARLY WHAT IS GOING ON and OFTEN often takes the sting out of this.....and helps them relax a bit about what we are doing. Some really want to be there w/their babies through everything. I can understand that as a mom who had a preemie baby with defects and consequent surgery. Yes I can.

More often than not, I just DO MINOR procedures (pku, footprinting, weight) IN THE ROOM......with parents watching. I explain all I am doing and that way they KNOW what is going on w/the baby and why I do what I do. I have nothing to hide....there are no mysteries in the nursery to exclude parents from. This builds trust and repoire w/parents more often than not this way. I ALWAYS give them the opportunity to see what I am doing to/for/with their babies. If they decline, that is their prerogative. I want them to trust me, and there to be NO misunderstanding or lack of a feeling of security. As a MOM I would want this for my baby, too!

Trauma Columnist · Dec 6, 2003

Well - I'm an old lady and had my sons waay back in the stone age! With oldest son (23) who was born overseas in Japan in a military hospital - rooming in was just beginning - it was nice. Don't remember any testing except PKU. With younger son (18) who was born in Spain in Spanish Hospital with no English-speaking staff - I kept him with me the entire time - no testing at birth at all. However, in Europe - you had to furnish your own gowns, pads, baby diapers, clothes, etc.. Times have changed. I work in the ER now and I always encourage parents to stay with their kids even during resuscitation, intubation, CPR, whatever! This is an optiion we like to consider for them - we encourage family presence. Some do well and appreciate the chance to be with their kids, while others prefer to step out - both ways are fine.

tonchitoRN · Dec 6, 2003

the month before i delivered the newspaper reported how the local hospital had switched babies by mistake. the mistake was discovered right away because the mother knew she had delivered a baby boy. when she got home she changed the diaper and found a baby girl.

so when i went in i wanted one of us to be with the baby at all times. i was not about to put my trust in those people. then they had the nerve to tell me they had to change the id bracelet of the baby while she was out of my sight. i had a fit. i told them if they need to change the bracelet they should do it while in my presence. to this day i believe my daughter i brought home is mine only because she looks like her bro and sis. something in me says i should have demanded a blood test before i left the hospital to make sure she is mine.

stressednurse · Dec 6, 2003

my first baby was almost 24 years ago.

i had an emergency c-section after a long labor that didn't progress well. while i was sleeping in recovery a very gruff nurse decided to check my post-op progress without waking or notifying me at all. i woke to someone pushing on my very sore abdomen, i sat straight up... gragged her arm and... bit her. yes i drew blood, felt bad about it after, but $*@@, that really hurt!

i guess i was quite a nusiance after that, i was in the hospital for a week due to post-op infection. my daughter was in my room most of the time at my request and this was before that was popular.

i never mistrusted the nurse, i just wanted my daughter to be with me. the hospital i used for all 3 births had just started a lot of security measures. my mom worked there at the time as a housekeeper in that department so i knew about the extensive security measures she was whining about. that made me aware of people wanting to steal babies.

when i had my second child 2 years later there were problems with the first child visiting the second one. my mom died of cancer a year and a half later and there is an "in memory of" plaque beside a viewing window she requested donations be made for instead of flowers at her funeral.

this was placed between the nursery and a small visiting room so younger siblings could see the baby but not sneeze on them.

nope i never mistrusted the nurses, the general public maybe, but the nurses were the most wonderful people. they put up with me through 3 births and my "silly" requests. like, please give me my pain shot then get me out of bed. thank god for pca pumps, that saved the nurses with the last kid.

i was pregnant with my third one during my first year of nursing school, c-section in august put my second year on hold for a year. the kids were too big for me to deliver naturally, 8#12oz, 7#7oz and 8#. gestational diabetes with the 3rd and no sugar problems since and she is 13 now.

oh yeh, i never worked ob. i work icu, have done some geriatrics and trauma and open heart and flight nursing. the icu i am gonna start with soon does have peds...no premies just the overflow from the peds unit so very young kids and babies are a possibility. this actually sounds like fun.