Is it right to pursue nursing if the school is 2 hrs away from husband & kids?

Trenata · Apr 12, 2013

This is something I would not personally do. If it were me, I think I would do everything in my power to find a way to be accepted into a school more locally unless my family was willing to move with me. Have you looked into online schools with clinicals nearby, even if you had to be gone on the weekends for clinicals, that is different than being gone 5 days out of the week. This is 2 years of barely seeing your children grow up and someone else raising them. I personally would/could not be away from my children that much!!! I think this is a decision that would lead to much regret later on and could potentially end a marriage esp. if you are financially stable! I do not think your husbands opinion is unfair at all!

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN · Apr 12, 2013

I guess if your children had some say in your decision - but they didn't. Nursing school will still be there when they are a little older.

And I think you calling your husband 'unsupportive' is unfair - you are talking about basically moving away from him and two VERY young children. You are making a HUGE mistake in my opinion. One that you will regret.

lauraline · Apr 12, 2013

I'm assuming its not as option for the family to move with you?

Otherwise I would definitely wait. Maybe next year you can get in somewhere closer? If you have the luxury of waiting then don't hurry it and spend the time with the kids while they are young.

When I was really young I grew up with a nanny because my mother was constantly away working and traveling. Although my father was around and I had everything I technically needed, I regret I did not spend the same amount of time with Mom. As a result, I honestly feel it has affected my adult life in a challenging way. It wasn't easy.

i♥words · Apr 12, 2013

I'm not a mom, so what I say is probably not going to matter at all. My only experience comes from my own mom making the decision to stay at home. I know she had plenty of other dreams and goals for her life other than raising children, but I'm thankful she chose me. Why do you need to do this now? Your kids are so young, and the burden nursing school would put on your family is huge. I would at least wait until your kids are in school. If you feel "terrible" about this than you've probably already made your decision.

Wish you the best!

MommaTy · Apr 12, 2013

I have 5 kids, ages 9, 7, 6, 3, and 16 months. I personally wouldn't be going to a program that is 2 hours away. If you are not moving near that school that is 4 hours a day of traveling time that you will be missing out on in studying. But it is ultimately up to you and your husband to talk it out. Good luck.

zoe92 · Apr 12, 2013

No, I would not do it.

Right now I go to a community college 1 hour away & in the fall I start at a BSN program also 1 hour away. I will be moving close to school because the 2 hour travel time is just too much. It is 2 hours less sleep & less study. I can not even imagine 4 hours.

Nursing will be there in the future. You never know, your family could even be in the position to move closer to school.

Stephalump · Apr 12, 2013

Sometimes being a parent isn't all about you.

Actually, most of the time it isn't about you

In my opinion, you've gotten your "chance" to pursue your dreams, evidenced by the fact that you have previous degrees. While it's sad that maybe it wasn't your super super ultimate dream, it's not really a sad tale of whoa of an uneducated woman who just wants to educated herself. It's a tale of someone who wants to be a nurse.

Which is cool. That's why we're all here. But you have a FOUR MONTH OLD. Be a patent and a wife. It's what you signed up to do. Work on getting into programs closer to you. I know you have been, but nursing school hasn't disappeared and it'll probably still be here even if it takes you another 3 years.

And really, I don't know why anyone would be "in it for the money." There isn't much money there, compared to other things you could do with degrees.

fbanh · Apr 12, 2013

Yes, nursing school will always be there. But he has also said at some point in time (I guess age wise) if I keep trying and don't get in, I need to give it up and move on. From his perspective, I'm into my 30's and time is not on my side. Thank you all for your honest opinions, I appreciate it.

Lolita34 · Apr 12, 2013

I personally know how it feels to put what I would love to do on hold since being a wife and mother to my 3 children come first. You have very young children so I would not advise you moving away from your family in order to pursue this career. If you are determined to attend nursing school, I am sure you will have an even better opportunity to do it. You do not want to jeopardize your family for a career. I pray that you get accepted to a school much closer to home. Take care.

willowita, ADN, RN · Apr 13, 2013

Everyone here has lent their opinions about family and motherhood so let me throw something else out there. Just on the issue of school alone (and this is assuming you stay where you are), a 4 hour a day commute is going to be extremely tough on studying, organizing your day, fulfilling your responsibilities as a student, doing clinicals, getting to class on time, etc. You may be putting yourself at a disadvantage that will make it harder for you to succeed in nursing school. I am in nursing school right now and even under better commuting circumstances, people are failing and having a rough time. You want to have the best home life possible (if you can make it happen) and the support of your family to make it through nursing school. That's the honest to god truth.

vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN · Apr 13, 2013

I have a different perspective from many ops.

You see, I took all of my Prereqs to get into nursing school according to the needs of my children and husband. I waited until my youngest was 4 1/2 and about to start kindergarten before i pursued the dream to become a nurse that took root when he was only 1. even then, I only attended class part time, took my classes in the evenings when my husband could (unhappily) care for them after he got off work. not until my children were all in school did I attend day classes during their school hours. Classes are hard to get into and fill up quickly in my area, so this scheduling was no small feat. I wanted to continue to be the best stay at home mom as possible even when I started Prereqs for nursing school, so I still dropped off my kids at school every day, picked them up, took them to practices, attended every single sports game-- books in hand, still volunteered in their classes.

This slow pace allowed me to meet the needs of my family and pursue my dream. I continued working from home during this time.

I thought I was doing the right thing for everyone until my husband got tired of the extra work he had to do because I was in school. He threatened to throw me and the kids out of our home once I was no longer able to support the family financially with my business income. I spent what little money I had paying household bills and trying to stay in school at the same time, which angered him.

Because of my subsequent experiences: being kicked out of my home, having no money to be able to fight in divorce court, living in a shelter, living house to house with family members, I do wish I had pursued my own dreams more selfishly because I would be in a better position to take care of my kids in the case of the "what ifs?"

So, my own BIASED opinion is to "do you" because taking care of "you" may enable you to take care of your kids better in the future, so it's not really selfish to "do you".

P.S. I used to feel like the OPs. I thought moms were selfish to leave their kids unless they really had to. I don't regret being there for my kids in every way for so many years. However, I no longer think its wrong for moms to choose to pursue their goals. Because I've seen some of the most unbelievable scenarios that can result if a. On doesn't out herself and her kids needs first.

/just my 2 cents/