Is it right to pursue nursing if the school is 2 hrs away from husband & kids?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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I have been a stay at home mom for the past two years and I finally got accepted into a nursing program for this coming Fall 2013 after 3+ years of application cycles. The school is two hours away from home. I have two kids (2 yr and 4 months). I have a science degree in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology. Prior to being a stay at home mom, I was a pharmaceutical QA lab analyst for 6 years. But in my heart I always knew I wanted to become a nurse.

My husband knows it is my goal/dream to become a nurse (and it's truly not because of the money)but he is very unhappy about me going through the program because it means we will be separated as a family unit. We would only be able to see each other on the weekends and even then I would probably be so busy with school that even weekends will be dedicated for school. He wants me to apply to other schools in our area, which I have been but I never got accepted. I finally get accepted into a school 2 hours away and I am so heartbroken that he is not supporting me in my goal. He says I would be selfish neglecting my family and thinking only about myself and my own goals. We are financially stable, if my goal to become a nurse is to make more money, then my income is not needed so I shouldn't make decisions that could potentially break up our family. I feel absolutely terrible. =(

Thank you all for your comments and opinions!! Everyone makes a valid point. My kids are still young so i don't know that they will remember me being in and out of their lives for two years but I know i will miss them terribly. My husband and I talked more into the pros and cons of me going back to school as well as the options of how to situate the kids if I do. My mom doesn't work so she is willing to move in with us so my husband would not have to be away from the kids and try to uphold as much normalcy in his lifestyle as possible. It would be my choice to go back to school so my husband shouldn't have to suffer being away from them. At the end of our conversation, he said he will miss me terribly but will support me if this is truly what I want to do. I guess, ultimately his support was what I wanted from the beginning regardless if I go into the program, and not his disapproval. I know my husbands prior disapproval of me going back to school was out of love for me and the family. I love my husband to death and his opinions and feelings matter the most. I'm lucky to have him.

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I personally wouldnt go to a school 2 hrs away especially with young children like that. Regardless of which school you choose, you will rarely have the time to spend with family and friends. Nursing school requires a lot of studying, dedication, and sacrafices and spending less time with loved ones is one of them. Try and get into a school that is closer to you and do what is best for you and your family. Good luck :)

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Hi Everyone, I just want to update that I am VERY LUCKY and got accepted into a nursing program close to home!! It all works out nicely! My husband and I are both thrilled and I can't wait to start! Again, thank you all for your comments!

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That is great news! Congrats!

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I'm so glad it worked out!

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That's great news! :)

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Specializes in Maternal Child, Home Health, Med/Surg.

Honestly, it's something that you really need to think about. As a married couple, he does have input into what happens with the entire family. I know you want to go for this, but with the children/family - you might want to reassess. Perhaps keep trying to the schools near you? If it were maybe 30-45 minutes, it'd be a little different - you could come home. However, it's not..

Whatever you choose, good luck!

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Specializes in None.

Of course, we all have different opinions and I'm not sure if anyone has given the opinion i'm about to give because I quit reading after you said that your husband is unsupportive of you. It would be even better if you could move closer, but if not that's ok too. You just have to be and stay determined on those early morning commutes. I would say go for it.

From experience, my mom went back to school when we(my brother and I) were eight or so if I remember and she is still in school and i'm TWENTY. Although, I feel it is my job to support her but, I terribly miss not being able to spend quality time. When your children are teenagers I feel it is a critical time to spend with them. However, she would just say "I'm busy with school we'll talk later" and later never comes. So for me, that was very depressing and it still is because I missed out on so much "mom-daughter time." Whereas, when you kids are younger they won't remember you not having to spend a little time away from them. I remember many nights of crying myself to sleep when I was going through the "teenage stages" because I felt unloved because my mother would not give me just 10 minutes of good quality talking. And, I was scared to say something to her because, I didn't want her to think I was unsupportive of her.

Also, another reason I would go for it is because you will have yet another degree and would not need the dependence of a husband.

Good luck on your decision. I know this is tough. My fiance and myself are having to move an 1 and 30 minutes from my school. It sucks for the driving but we both agreed to move somewhere where our commute will be equal. So for right now he will be driving around an hour and I will be driving around an hour and a half. Thankfully, we have no children so it is so much easier.

And thirty minutes later I read the whole post and am thrilled you were able to get accepted closer!! Miracles do happen :-)

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