I was sooo excited to get a spot in the Jan. nursing class.
However before I can start I have to pass A&P I with a "C" or better.
Normally that wouldnt be a problem -but life has been anything but normal here lately.
I could go on and on about how my husband has decided he wanted to be 20 yo again instead of 37, have a midlife crisis, live a party lifestyle and become an addict again. I could tell you about how many times over the past year he's totally ripped my heart to shreds and stomped on it, how cold-hearted he's been and irresponsible.
How when given the ultimatum - me and the children or your buddies and partying, he didnt choose us.
How I've been almost suicidal and beyond depressed and anxiety filled...
But, I won't go on and on....LOL.
Truth be told, I've let all of this life drama get in my way and interfere with my studies (I'm finishing up my 3rd semester of pre-reqs now) and I've 99.9% sure that I've screwed myself out of my nursing class spot.
I've gotten too far behind in my A&P class. In the next week I have one quiz, lecture exam 4, last lab exam and the comprehensive final.
Right now my grade is a terrible 76% (should be at least a very high B!!)
I have not learned anything that is on these exams yet. The lab exam is Thurday evening. The quiz and lec exam 4 if this weekend and our final is Tuesday evening.
I just dont see any possible way to learn 4-5 chapters between 2 classes in this amount of time. Its an enormous amount of info - I'm still shakey on lots of stuff before this material!!
I am SO angry and disappointed with myself.
I sit down and try to study but I can't focus, I'm not retaining anything.
The schools tutoring is a joke - a couple of grouchy people in the open lab who dont want to be there and definately dont want to be tutoring others.
So, in approx. 18 mos I would have been a nurse, now who knows when I'll get in again if I can't miraculously somehow get a C in this class.
Thing is, is that with my marriage so on the rocks, I was really, reallly needing this opportunity to better myself so I could be pretty much self-sufficient and raise my children alone if need be.
My husband is very disappointed in me - but refuses to take any responsibility for his part in my non-ability to do well due to how insane our lives have gotten. He just shrugs and says - "well, if you want it badly enough, you'll find a way to pass." Well....hmmm....probably would if I could focus and concentrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont know why I'm even posting this, feels good to vent and whine and have a pity party, I guess. Maybe I am just making excuses....
I really need some major motivation to study my butt off for the next week around the clock - but at this point its looking pretty darn hopeless and I just am so discouraged and want to say to heck with it all and give up.
Let me get this straight.
You're the mother of seven
children, obviously without a lot of emotional support from your husband, and you think A&P I
You need to realize that your nursing dream is like having a new baby. Take it one step at a time. Stay awake with it. Feed it. Change it. Walk the halls with it. You know the drill. If you want to keep your nursing dream alive, you have to take care of it almost constantly for the next couple of years.
Would a disagreement with your husband keep you from feeding and caring your kids? No, I thought not. Well, a lot of us liken nursing school to having a baby for the amount of time, energy, and commitment it takes, and having been through it myself, I have to admit I agree.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
Now hit the books. Paste up charts on the walls and the fridge, have the kids help by drawing pictures of bones and anatomical planes. Get tracing paper and a coloring book, and make cutouts and memorize as much as you can, because basically anyone with a good memory can pass A&P I.
We believe in you! You can do it!
Last edit by Angie O'Plasty, RN on Dec 7, '05