I have posted about my near-death experience openly here on AN. I was able to go back to school, due to particular counseling for trauma called EDMR. It was extremely useful for helping me cope with events, worries, etc. It is a safe place where I get to process my emotions, etc. I have been in this type of therapy for 2 years, after 3 years of cognitive therapy and therapeutic milleu therapy. The event happened 5 years ago (January 2008) when I was supposed to start my BSN program in the fall of that year. I was so scared, and felt so low during my first anniversary date, I was about to decline going again, until the Advisor stated she wanted to see me, and I got a Nursing Program
interview. I started the program that fall and graduated May 2012, and sat and passed the NCLEX two weeks after graduation. I can say I have come full circle from that event. I have a new grad job where I always wanted to work at in a position where I wanted to do when it was a thought in my mind as a ED tech in 2000. I actually achieved a GOAL an despite my challenges, I got THERE.
I think I saw someone post how some people who recover from traumatic events feel "triumphant" (apologies for misquote)...my trauma created a double edge sword-happy to be alive, great outlook on life, don't swear the small stuff, deeply empathetic (don't get me wrong, I was, but it was more "clearer") and "nursey senses" when I can see or hear a patient is in crisis. But the lows come too, especially when the rest of the people, the general public, that you interact with may have no respect for life, or for mental health crises, or the "snap outta it" mentality when you feel frozen in time, hyper vigilant "over nothing" but you KNOW something is not right. It can be down right isolating. But that is the BEAUTY of therapy...you learn to "leave it there" and work in pieces, learn new ways to cope and be able be successful.
I am still a work in progress, but trauma recovery is achievable, and can be successful, and if you still want to, you can be a successful nurse. There are many nurses that I have met who have overcame their traumas, and they are the best, most competent nurses I have worked around. They have made me a better nurse; however, so has my event...it MOVED me to be a better nurse.