new position and still not satisfied

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My long story short is that I have wanted to do either ER,OR, L&D. I was a dialysis tech for 18 yrs before I graduated with AS degree, at age 39, have a family and I was blessed with getting a position as a ER nurse (level 3) for a busy hospital right out of nursing school and before I even took my boards. I lasted 1 1/2 years. I cried a lot (like a baby at times) from the stress and pressure (probably more than I should have because I was afraid of hurting someone, getting fired or being reprimanded), I always felt like someone was choking me.

The more experienced nurses would tell me to relax, stop putting so much pressure on myself, your doing fine, most of these cases are bologna. Just don't let your guard down because that "abd pain can be a GI bleed or worse".

I began looking into the OR but the schedule didn't work (3 kids,dogs,house,husband, being on call etc, maybe later on when the kids are more independent). I then looked into L&D, which was crazy hectic too like the ER (some days). So I went back to what I thought would be my comfort zone,dialysis.

I started off very ambitious wanting to climb up the "Coperate ladder". The facility is very busy with a new nurse manager (trying to make changes), adding more patients and not having enough staff. We are experiencing a high nurse and tech turn over rate. My feet hurt (14 hour shifts) and some of the staff either don't care, are just lazy,know how to disappear off the floor,gossip too much, are just slow or pretend they are stupid and don't know what is going on:sneaky:. I have worked in a few facilities and know that this is typical of any job.

I want to pursue my BSN and maybe be management one day but cant afford it until my AS degree is paid for( in 10 yrs+). I'm 41 now, kids will be going to college in 2 yrs. and I still feel LOST/DAZED and don't know if this job is right and I feel like a baby.

People tell me being management stinks too even though you are not running around with direct patient contact all the time. They tell me to stay where I am, go to work, do your job, collect a paycheck and come home and enjoy yourself.

Dialysis is very repetitious and a little boring as far as to what I was used to in the ER, def not as stressful which is a plus but I just started this job (3 months) but feel like I "never left", if that makes sense. I don't want to jump from job to job anymore and feel like "I don't know what I want to do when I grow up". :unsure:,:roflmao:

Do I stay where I am, give it a chance, start looking for another specialty? I don't know anymore.

Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.

Sounds like you have a bad case of GIGS (grass is greener syndrome). ;) Often it's not that you're not finding what you're looking for, it's that your looking at what you're finding the wrong way.

Specializes in Home Care.

You remind me of myself. I don't like high stress jobs and I soon get bored with repetitious jobs.

So perhaps you need something challenging to occupy your bored brain whether that be a special project at work or finding a new hobby during time off.

Think outside the hospital, 40 % of nurses are not in the hospital.

Search this site for many, many ideas.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

You've been out of school two years and you're looking to leave your third job?

A job isn't going to make you happy; you have to do that for yourself. I'd advise you to stay where you are for at least two years. The grass is not always greener elsewhere, and you can make nursing just your job and have your LIFE outside of work. Use the two years to really think about what you liked and didn't like in each of your jobs. Then maybe you'll have a better idea whether you want to stay where you are or try something different.

Its my second job and Im not going to leave until Im 100% sure. I left the ED and now work in an out patient HMD clinic. Was it wrong to leave the hospital cause people are telling me I should have stuck it out there and put up with it.

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Maybe you have baseline anxiety. Your comment

I always felt like someone was choking me
made me think of that.
Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
Was it wrong to leave the hospital cause people are telling me I should have stuck it out there and put up with it.

It would probably have been wise to stay there PRN.

Specializes in School Nursing.

I'm in no position to council you, since I'm about to start my third nursing job in 4 months. I started my career in a SNF, a job that I actually really enjoyed but was a very long commute, very disorganized and very overwhelming, so when a local SNF called and asked me to interview, I went, was offered a job with better hours and better pay, and really close to home, I switched (stayed PRN at first place, but haven't actually worked since I finished out my two weeks notice). The grass was DEAD on that side of the fence, this place is just NUTS, incredibly unsafe staffing and I feared my license daily and felt I was drowning daily (they told me I was doing great, and asked me to stay when I put in notice, but I turned them down). I've been applying for hospice since I graduated having LOVED my hospice clinical rotation in community health class. I was called and offered an interview, and then a position, I JUMPED on it. I start my new job Monday! I imagine this job will have millions of its own challenges, and will have a huge learning curve, but I'm really looking forward to it! I guess what I'm saying is, I feel your pain.

I've heard many people say "job hopping" is a death blow to a nurses career, and others who say that they expect to see job hopping with new nurses as it can take a while to find one's niche. Good luck to you!

You have a lot going on in your personal life and professional life. It is so very hard to feel like a successful nurse and parent at the same time. I find most nursing positions are not conducive to family life. I totally understand what you mean by being bored in one area and stressed in another, it is hard to find the happy medium. I loved sub-acute care, it was just enough to challenge me and not overly stressful and different most days. I did apply for an out-patient diaysis center and did well with my interview, still waiting to hear from them. I would say try to stick where you are until you can get the family needs calmed down. Look for what else is available, start working on your BSN while you are in a "boring" job. The BSN may offer enough of a challenge to make up for the boredom of the job. It is really hard to make everything good at the same time.

Hey Wanna b I am new to the website and Iam trying to figure out how to send you a PM but I cant. I will be starting at UCC in January and hopefully I will be in the nursing program by the fall. I know its been a couple years since you did it, but your post are very informative and I relay wanted to get some answers. I will be an evening student since I cannot quit my job. do you know anyone who did the program at night? is it possible for the clinicals to be done at night? the admissions office says yes but you never know. I hope you can help me out before I begin this journey.

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