"Are you a Christian?"

Nurses Spirituality

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I am a hospice nurse. As you can imagine, religion and spirituality play a big part in the lives of many of my patients and families, and I try very hard to honor that. Oftentimes they will share their beliefs with me and nod respectfully and listen as part of therapeutic communication and supporting their process.

The other day I worked closely with a Christian family. They were playing religious music in the room all day. At times they would be praying when I went in, so I stepped out and let them finish. The patient had declined rapidly over my shift and I was closely supporting the family through that. As I was about to leave work I went in to say my goodbyes, and I said something like "It's been so nice to work with and serve such a beautiful family. You will be in my thoughts." Its a common thing for a hospice nurse to say. I was not coming back to this unit and would not see them again. The spouse then asked me, "Are you Christian?" I have never had anyone ask this before and it took me off-guard. I said I was close to God and very spiritual, but not church-going.

The thing is, I'm not Christian. And I was not sure how to answer this very personal question in a way that kept the focus on the patient, and protected my own personal spirituality and privacy without sounding rude. Any suggestions on a good way to answer this in the future?

I think it's interesting that other nurses on this thread have people assume they are Christian because they are "so nice" or whatever. I've had this happen to me many times too! I am an honest person, a hard worker, a good listener, etc. And people make this assumption all the time.
Many people have a limited scope - willingly or otherwise - and must categorize things, people, and places for ease of understanding. Disrupt or question this system of categorization, and let the maladaptive behavior begin. Wheeeee!!

Personally, I'll agree with anything if it ushers us more quickly to the end of interaction. "Sure... I'm gay, straight, democrat, republican, vampire, mermaid... whatever. Be well and thanks for playing. Deuces!"

Jehovah Witnesses can say"Thank You" but cannot say "Merry Christmas" back.

The person may assume you celebrate it to if you say it back.

If the person knows their colleague doesn't celebrate Christmas and they say 'enjoy your days off from work' in reference to Christmas and Boxing Day, can the JW colleague say Merry Cristmas back?

But remember that this division could be your ticket to deferring the work to someone else.

I haven't tried this, but if I had a Christian patient that was very strong about his or her views, and I claimed to be a Muslim, I would expect that this patient would request a different nurse.

If the patient was really easy to work with, this wouldn't be a good idea, but if the patient were difficult, it would be an easy way out.

Why on earth would you think that? If a Christian patient didn't want a Muslim nurse it would be because they were racist and/or bigoted in general, not because of strong Christian beliefs. There's nothing in the Christian religion that forbids contact with Muslims.

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
Why on earth would you think that? If a Christian patient didn't want a Muslim nurse it would be because they were racist and/or bigoted in general, not because of strong Christian beliefs. There's nothing in the Christian religion that forbids contact with Muslims.

Our friends NOADLS has a bit of - shall we say - tongue-in-cheek style.

Specializes in Med Surg.
How do you guys deal with your coworkers about this topic?

It very rarely comes up, except in pragmatic conversations. "Can you switch with me for Easter?" or "It's Ramadan and I have not eaten all day, will you cover me for break RIGHT NOW??"

There's really no answer but to be honest. Me personally. Working with dying people praying to Jesus made me a believer.

I am a hospice nurse. As you can imagine, religion and spirituality play a big part in the lives of many of my patients and families, and I try very hard to honor that. Oftentimes they will share their beliefs with me and nod respectfully and listen as part of therapeutic communication and supporting their process.

The other day I worked closely with a Christian family. They were playing religious music in the room all day. At times they would be praying when I went in, so I stepped out and let them finish. The patient had declined rapidly over my shift and I was closely supporting the family through that. As I was about to leave work I went in to say my goodbyes, and I said something like "It's been so nice to work with and serve such a beautiful family. You will be in my thoughts." Its a common thing for a hospice nurse to say. I was not coming back to this unit and would not see them again. The spouse then asked me, "Are you Christian?" I have never had anyone ask this before and it took me off-guard. I said I was close to God and very spiritual, but not church-going.

The thing is, I'm not Christian. And I was not sure how to answer this very personal question in a way that kept the focus on the patient, and protected my own personal spirituality and privacy without sounding rude. Any suggestions on a good way to answer this in the future?

How do I answer this question?

( & before going further,

I will state that my mother died as a firm believer in Christ the redeemer,

which I duly respected, when I provided care for her, on her deathbed.)

I am trained to be 'diplomatic' in a professional setting,

& state that my personal feelings will not affect

the cares provided, so I'd prefer not to bring them into discussion,

- but if I am in a position to be freely frank, well, if I do not reiterate the

comment I have disclosed about my mother, I will honestly state, in answer..

"I 've never met Jesus Christ.. or any other putative deity".

Specializes in Med Surg, SubAcute, Hospice, Infusion.

James when asked if you are a Christian...you could simply say no. Just as I would if someone were to ask if I were muslim or an atheist. Or you could say... I am not comfortable discussing my personal beliefs (as you stated above) and then move on.

Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
I think it's interesting that other nurses on this thread have people assume they are Christian because they are "so nice" or whatever. I've had this happen to me many times too! I am an honest person, a hard worker, a good listener, etc. And people make this assumption all the time.

Just the other day, I had a patient who was very distressed, so I sat with him and comforted him. He made the comment that I must be a Christian because I was so comforting. I made a a kind of a "mmm hmmm" noise. I am a Pagan. I am also an empath, and find it easy to comfort people.

I live in the bible belt, and find it much easier to just not talk about my spiritual beliefs. When I say I'll pray for someone, they assume that I am Christian. I just don't bother to correct them.

If I am asked bout my beliefs, I tend to say that I am a private person, and don't discuss my beliefs. Call me gun shy but even when I was an ELCA Lutheran, I was told I going to hell. So, don't talk bout it.

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

What's wrong with saying "No, I am not a Christian."? If someone asked if you were Muslim, Hindu, Jewish would it be easier for you to say no?

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
If the person knows their colleague doesn't celebrate Christmas and they say 'enjoy your days off from work' in reference to Christmas and Boxing Day, can the JW colleague say Merry Cristmas back?

I just tell people I hope they enjoy their time with their friends/family. It would not be appropriate to wish them a "Merry Christmas" since we don't celebrate that holiday.

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
What's wrong with saying "No, I am not a Christian."? If someone asked if you were Muslim, Hindu, Jewish would it be easier for you to say no?

The thing is, well-meaning Christians ask this question and if you say no, sometimes attempts at proselytizing occur and it's generally tone-deaf at best to do this in a hospital setting This happened multiple times at my uncle's bedside when he was in hospice dying. It was extremely awkward, and for it to be happening to a dying man....borderline abusive if not outright. (Not hospice staff doing this, mind you. Well-meaning family friends. I kicked them all out.) Never ever had a Muslim, Hindu, or Jew ask me if I'm Muslim/Hindu/Jew.

The closest thing was a Muslim patient's husband who asked, "If you don't mind my asking, do you have a faith of your own? I ask because you're so sensitive to ours." My response was, "No, I don't mind your asking, and yes I do have beliefs of own. I strongly believe in treating other people the way I'd like to be treated. I would want someone to be sensitive to my spiritual needs, so I try to do the same for others."

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