"Are you a Christian?"

[anon456]

I am a hospice nurse. As you can imagine, religion and spirituality play a big part in the lives of many of my patients and families, and I try very hard to honor that. Oftentimes they will share their beliefs with me and nod respectfully and listen as part of therapeutic communication and supporting their process.

The other day I worked closely with a Christian family. They were playing religious music in the room all day. At times they would be praying when I went in, so I stepped out and let them finish. The patient had declined rapidly over my shift and I was closely supporting the family through that. As I was about to leave work I went in to say my goodbyes, and I said something like "It's been so nice to work with and serve such a beautiful family. You will be in my thoughts." Its a common thing for a hospice nurse to say. I was not coming back to this unit and would not see them again. The spouse then asked me, "Are you Christian?" I have never had anyone ask this before and it took me off-guard. I said I was close to God and very spiritual, but not church-going.

The thing is, I'm not Christian. And I was not sure how to answer this very personal question in a way that kept the focus on the patient, and protected my own personal spirituality and privacy without sounding rude. Any suggestions on a good way to answer this in the future?

[carolinapooh, BSN, RN]

They paid you an incredible compliment. What a testimony to you. And I mean that sincerely.

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

They paid you an incredible compliment. What a testimony to you. And I mean that sincerely.

If you were addressing me, thank you so much. They were a wonderful family and I so enjoyed meeting them. They left our unit a very nice note thanking us for caring for them after the birth of their daughter. The husband was American (born in Delaware) but his mom was from India and his dad was Filipino, both parents Muslim. The wife was African-American Nation of Islam and they were both SO very nice. You can imagine how beautiful their baby girl was!!

[stevemac]

When you play music at your work station, do you usually ask everyone else if they would mind, or take a poll as to what should be played?

As I type, my partner is playing something that I don't really care for--and he didn't ask if I'd mind--but it seems petty to be offended by it. He certainly is not TRYING to offend me.

I suspect your coworker was not deliberately trying to offend you, either.

And now, I'm going to wrap up some night shift work and then listen to something that I've been wanting to since my drive in...without asking my partner. I suspect we'll both be okay.