21 Things you never mention at a hospital job interview

[prettyboyswag]

Whether you're a soon to be minted or experienced RN, CNA, PCT, LPN, you probably have had some of these thoughts run through your mind during an interview. Let's be honest now. Share your thoughts and feel free to add to the list. try not to take this list too seriously as not everyone behaves or thinks the same way. This is more for humor.

1 ) I hate waking up 5am to get ready for work

2 ) I don't like dressing up for interviews. You also wasted some of my gas so i can be here.

3 ) I don't enjoy wiping butt, do you?

4 ) I'm doing this for the money (mostly)

5 ) I wouldn't do this for free

6 ) I hate dealing with co-workers (most of the time)

7 ) Dealing with doctors can be a nuisance

8 ) No i won't work overnight shift, unless you're paying me time and a half

9 ) I hate being on-call

10) I can think of 10 better things i can be doing with my weekend than being here

11) No i don't really want to work on holidays but i know if i say no, then i won't get the job, so i have to say yes (with a fake smile)

12) If i won the lottery i'd go into early retirement

13) If nursing school showed me what nursing is really like early on i would of probably cut my losses early

14) I don't really care about your mission statement, save your breath

15) A 30 min. break for a 12 hour shift is unreasonable and illegal in my opinion. A 2 hour break is more feasible.

16) Patients can be the biggest drama queens and don't get me started with their family members.

17) Is the interview almost over yet, i have a party to get to

18) Don't call me if i didn't get the job, an email is better.

19) I expect a decision in 3 days, don't give me the 2 week wait period speel

20) I don't have enough experience? Then why am i even here. You're that bored aren't you.

21) What's my dream job? Being a CEO of a multi-billion dollar organization with an office the size of a house.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

So what is the best answer to give? I seriously want to know. Can one say, "hopefully working here and being a mentor or preceptor to new graduates"?

Sounds like a great answer.

[tamiwill1]

Love this post! I completely agree with every point except #21. My dream job is being paid to stay home! Who needs the pressure of running the company? LOL

[MrsICURN14]

Love this post! I completely agree with every point except #21. My dream job is being paid to stay home! Who needs the pressure of running the company? LOL

Yes!!!! If someone could pay me to be a stay at home mom I would be in heaven!

[Daly City RN]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

New grad nurse: "If you hire me I expect a starting salary of no lower than $100,000 a year."

Nurse recruiter: "One hundred thousand? No problem. We also give our new grads 4 weeks vacation after six months and a brand new Mercedes Benz car. Is silver ok?"

New grad: "Wowww!!! Are you kidding me???"

Nurse recruiter: "Yes, but you started it!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

My dream job is being paid to stay home! Who needs the pressure of running the company? LOL

My dream job would offer two six-month paid vacations per year so that I'd never need to physically report to work a day in my life.

It would be so lovely if that fantasy turned into a reality.

[nifty_n]

You sound very angry and dissatisfied with your chosen career. There are a lot of us who love our job, our patients and coworkers.

OP just said don't take the list too seriously....as in, the contents of the list are jokes.

[SENSUALBLISSINFL, BSN, RN]

LOL.... that was funny. One can wish, once can wish.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

New grad nurse: "If you hire me I expect a starting salary of no lower than $100,000 a year."

Nurse recruiter: "One hundred thousand? No problem. We also give our new grads 4 weeks vacation after six months and a brand new Mercedes Benz car. Is silver ok?"

New grad: "Wowww!!! Are you kidding me???"

Nurse recruiter: "Yes, but you started it!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[MusicGuy]

I did get a rejection call. Needless to say I wanted job and liked the hospital. But having a voice tell me such was very professional (IMHO) and made me want to apply again. It's a rare thing; most don't bother with the email!

[LPN With An Attitude]

The shame of it is that just 10 years ago you could get hired on the spot without your bosses wanting to look up your rectum with a telescope, check your credit history, your driving record, your facebook account, and other aspects of your life that are frankly none of the flippin business. Now that all these crank em out quick schools of practical nursing are popping up everywhere, employers can and have gotten real selective. With a glut in the labor market, they usually don't value quality or experience, they exploit the collapsing economy by hiring in the fresh grads, for up to $7.00/hour less, and these kids who never should have been allowed to graduate from high school are more than glad to take the job just to have one. I have to use my inner most strength to mask the sheer and utter contempt I have at interviews. We were woefully underpaid for the work we performed, and now they want to underbid us with these green, semi literate fresh grads. Unbelievable. I have utility bills, mortgage, car notes, car insurance, increasing out of pocket healthcare expenses, etc just like anyone else but you fake, goody two shoes types that have it easy because your husband makes a good income or you can scam the system and get things for free can kindly shut up. I make no apologies when I say we are underpaid, rarely appreciated, and now in the process of getting scaled back.

[EmergencyRN22]

What?!? Anoscopy part of your interview ?!? Yikes!! To see if you're full of ****?

The shame of it is that just 10 years ago you could get hired on the spot without your bosses wanting to look up your rectum with a telescope, check your credit history, your driving record, your facebook account, and other aspects of your life that are frankly none of the flippin business. Now that all these crank em out quick schools of practical nursing are popping up everywhere, employers can and have gotten real selective. With a glut in the labor market, they usually don't value quality or experience, they exploit the collapsing economy by hiring in the fresh grads, for up to $7.00/hour less, and these kids who never should have been allowed to graduate from high school are more than glad to take the job just to have one. I have to use my inner most strength to mask the sheer and utter contempt I have at interviews. We were woefully underpaid for the work we performed, and now they want to underbid us with these green, semi literate fresh grads. Unbelievable. I have utility bills, mortgage, car notes, car insurance, increasing out of pocket healthcare expenses, etc just like anyone else but you fake, goody two shoes types that have it easy because your husband makes a good income or you can scam the system and get things for free can kindly shut up. I make no apologies when I say we are underpaid, rarely appreciated, and now in the process of getting scaled back.

[LPN With An Attitude]

Just saying.....the invasiveness of what they subject us to is adding insult to injury, but I can put on a poker face and bluff them, smile at people I despise. We really have no choice, now do we? Yes, it's not all about money but does anyone think the people that provide your gas, water, electricity, etc are going to stop charging us because we do a largely thankless job? It's a darn shame that we don't get more respect from management, just endless threats and intimidation. It was a sad day when your employer was given the power of being your God, your slave driver, so that you are beholden to them. Now that everyone is flocking into nursing, one of the few life boats still left in an economy that I am convinced is going to collapse wholesale before 2016 (the US dollar is getting dumped by the rest of the world as the world's reserve currency of international trade, we exported our manufacturing base, have massive trade imbalances and too much debt, and the resources needed for endless growth all peaked in 2008, are waging all these resource wars that we cannot afford, amongst other problems that have been many decades in the making and are coming to a critical mass), the abusive attitude that most of us have been seeing by management and our employers will only get worse. Wait and see.

[MatrixRn]

This is more for humor.

I don't enjoy wiping butt, do you?

I hate dealing with co-workers

Dealing with doctors can be a nuisance

No i won't work overnight shift, unless you're paying me time and a half

I hate being on-call

I can think of 10 better things i can be doing with my weekend than being here

No i don't really want to work on holidays but i know if i say no, then i won't get the job, so i have to say yes (with a fake smile)

A 30 min. break for a 12 hour shift is unreasonable and illegal in my opinion. A 2 hour break is more feasible.

Patients can be the biggest drama queens and don't get me started with their family members.

Don't call me if i didn't get the job, an email is better.

I expect a decision in 3 days, don't give me the 2 week wait period speel

I have heard variations of the statements above on job interviews...needless to say they did not get the job.