Tempted to Tell the Truth in Exit Interview - page 2
Dear Nurse Beth, I have been working in my first nursing job for the past 5 months. Amid applying for nurse residencies I submitted an application to a place that I had seen many job listings for.... Read More
Feb 10I have never been to, nor will I ever go to an exit interview. No good will ever come from them.
Feb 10I opened my big mouth at an exit interview and have lived to regret it. Every word I said about my narcissist manager was 100% true. However, I loved my coworkers and wanted to go back per diem after she graced another facility with her presence. I had excellent evals and they do not give me a bad reference. I am told by a friend and former coworker, that upper management does not ever want me rehired. Best to keep your thoughts to yourself. Nursing is a small world.
Feb 10Beth hit the nail on the head with this one. And I would avoid an exit interview for all the reasons listed.
Feb 11No matter how tempting it may be to summarily list each one of your legitimate concerns to a captive audience now that you have one foot out the door, I wholeheartedly agree with Nurse Beth and everyone else who advises you that to share this information at your exit interview is not in your best interests.
Despite the fact that we nurses as a group are large in number, it's a surprisingly small world out there - and it's an even smaller professional network in each of our cities then most people actually realize. Everyone knows a friend of a friend's brother's second cousin (thrice removed) whose mother's neighbor's uncle knows someone who works at any one of the various local hospitals and/or medical centers. If you spill the truth to the wrong people the odds are not in your favor that you yourself won't also be a casualty in some way from the flying shrapnel of the potential fallout. Sharing anything directly negative about another person in this situation has the possibility to come back to haunt us exponentially in a vile number of ways - more often than not we will find ourselves wishing heartily that we had just kept our mouth shut. Especially (or should I say doubly) if the person in question is your boss (or even just someone higher up in the food chain than yourself).
I also agree that for the most part HR doesn't give a rat's hairy arse what we ordinary plebeian's think, however once in a while there will be someone who really does want the lowdown on this information.
Once upon a time (in a land far, far away) I had a job where my supervisor had also become a friend. There was one area in particular that the nursing turnover rate was off the charts - by the time this story I'm sharing took place every single nursing position had already changed over at least twice since I had started (perhaps 9-10 months). My supervisor/friend confided to me that no one would say why they were leaving - this frustrated her because until she could figure out what the problem was and try to fix it the endless turnover in nursing staff would continue, remaining a revolving door of nurses quitting and being hired to fill those constantly open positions, wasting both time and money.
This is a guess, but the best I could figure as to why no one wanted to enlighten her was possibly the general consensus and fear that they could be potentially blackballed when attempting to use that job as a reference in the future. As if whatever was revealed had the potential to define that nurse in regard to a good reference, a good professional reputation, or even possible rehire.
Although telling the truth is a virtue in it's own right - something we have all been taught to do from the earliest age (and sadly, in my opinion something we don't encounter often enough) doing so in this instance has it's own consequences that most people aren't willing to risk.
Tread lightly my friend.Last edit by 3ringnursing on Feb 11
Feb 11I'd keep it simple and courteous. As for her drinking it sounds as if she sort of thinks she has a problem, people for whom alcohol is an issue can and do get sober all of the time without the BON.
And from what I have read on this site I am amazed anyone can handle the stress of new sobriety with the BON crawling up their a** by the minute.
Feb 11If you will be asking her for a reference, don't say anthing bad about her! If I were you, I would praise her (without overdoing it/being obviopus) and then send her an anonymous letter or wait until you have secured a new job and tell her directly.
If you wont be asking her for a reference and wont be coming back to that facility (or any other of its locations if its a big hospital system) then feel free to adress her directly, juse be respectful ab out it and dont blame her directly, just tell her your perceptions and what YOU think said behavior MIGHT be causing.
Feb 11Quote from Daisy4RNThey are a huge waste of time. I did one with HR when I left my first nursing job. It was a time of high turnover on my unit. Several people said that they were leaving because of problems with our nurse manager. This was 6 years ago and said manager not only still works on the floor but is now the director of the entire department. HR doesn't care what you say and it will generally be a waste of your breath.I have never been to, nor will I ever go to an exit interview. No good will ever come from them.
I am hoping to be resigning from my current job within the next week or 2. I so badly want to say something as I'm leaving about how the company cares about profits over patients and does nothing to retain employees (I am currently the most senior person in my department at just over 2 1/2 years) but I know nothing will change based on my statements. In fact, we have had a great deal of turnover in our department lately and it was used to fire our boss, despite the fact that several people specifically said in their exit interviews that they were leaving the company not the manager. So I'll just speak with my feet and I already left my honest (and anonymous) review of the company on glassdoor.
Feb 12Quote from WuzzieAll of this and also 'decline offers for exit interviews', I love it. Tell it, Wuzzie!Honestly, HR doesn't care what you think. They're checking off a box on a list. Nothing more. Nothing less.....I decline offers for exit interviews for that reason.
Quote from caliotter3Amen caliotter, 'before you resigned'!... If the employer cared about what you have to say, they would have listened to you before you resigned.
Quote from OldmahubbardYes, to fewer witch hunts, Oldmanhubbard!Not a good idea to turn someone in to the board after a couple of vague comments, if they haven't been impaired at work.
We need fewer witch hunts in nursing, not more.
Quote from SpankedInPittsburghYes, way out of control! You're smart to leave before you get burned....If this place had a 100% staff turnover in a few months they are an out-of-control dumpster fire and if they don't know it by now they won't be educated by some relatively short-term employee who is leavinganyway.....she will lose her job and have her life irrevocably impacted
Quote from NeatsBless your heart. It's often referred to endearingly as sassyy~y style.... You wanted more of a direct leader with boundaries that have a directive and behavioral style. There is no need to burn bridges. This Northern girl learned from Southern women to be kind in a snarky way. I appreciate those verbal skills.
Quote from 3ringnursingMaybe it was a bunch of nasty gossip about a higher up that they didn't know to be true but had a negative effect on the work environment regardless because it was nasty and also involved coworkers, maybe. You know like a real General Hospital soap opera. Who really knows? Life can be so shockingly strange.No matter how tempting it may be to summarily list each one of your legitimate concerns ...... As if whatever was revealed had the potential to define that nurse in regard to a good reference, a good professional reputation, or even possible rehire.
...Telling the truth is something we have been taught to do from the earliest age (and sadly, in my opinion something we don't encounter often enough) doing so in this instance has it's own consequences that most people aren't willing to risk....
Feb 12My employer cares so little about what we might say in an exit interview that we no longer have them. You can fill out your reason on line.
Feb 17Quote from WuzzieThis was my thought. On her way out the door, the OP could take the manager aside for a quiet chat. Let her know that frequently talking about alcohol use could be giving the wrong impression and give someone ammo if they have it in for her. If alcohol is really that big a part of her life, she probably wants to start addressing it on her own time before someone else makes it their business. Then wish her well.So risk ruining someone's life because of rumor and conjecture? Have you any idea what reporting her to the board will do to her? Read the recovery forum. The mature and professional response would be having a private discussion with her manager about her concerns rather than running off "tattling" to everyone and their brother.
Feb 17If she has confessed it, she owns it. And the law says if you have knowledge and fail to report it, as the safety of the public hangs in the balance, then you are culpable.
Feb 17Quote from Have NurseCitation please? As long as she does not come to work under the influence what she does legally on her own time is none of anybody's business. I have no legal responsibility to notify anyone that one of my coworkers had too much to drink on the weekend. I can legally get ripped every single weekend which would definitely indicate a problem but as long as I am sober at work there is nothing to report.If she has confessed it, she owns it. And the law says if you have knowledge and fail to report it, as the safety of the public hangs in the balance, then you are culpable.
ETA: I do not, in fact, get ripped every weekend in case anybody is wondering.Last edit by Wuzzie on Feb 17
Feb 17Quote from wondernSomebody is feisty today!All of this and also 'decline offers for exit interviews', I love it. Tell it, Wuzzie!
Amen caliotter, 'before you resigned'!
Yes, to fewer witch hunts, Oldmanhubbard!
Yes, way out of control! You're smart to leave before you get burned.
Bless your heart. It's often referred to endearingly as sassyy~y style.
Maybe it was a bunch of nasty gossip about a higher up that they didn't know to be true but had a negative effect on the work environment regardless because it was nasty and also involved coworkers, maybe. You know like a real General Hospital soap opera. Who really knows? Life can be so shockingly strange.