For Whom The Bell Tolls - page 3

by VivaLasViejas 5,843 Views | 46 Comments Guide

As my favorite author, Erma Bombeck, once said: "There is no way that your foot will ever get well as long as there is a horse standing on it." In my case, that means I won't get well until there is less stress in my life, and... Read More


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    I say take that last great act of defiance, turn and fight and declare an accommodation under the ADA. They are just gently easing you out the door and making you apologize for it....while I lost my fight for accommodation (although I got severance) and could not find any one who wanted a nurse with wheels......doesn't mean you can't.

    You are a great nurse! You are a great person! I want to see someone win! I want to see you win......((HUGS)) dear friend
    nrsang97, sharpeimom, Marshall1, and 1 other like this.
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    Quote from Esme12
    I say take that last great act of defiance, turn and fight and declare an accommodation under the ADA. They are just gently easing you out the door and making you apologize for it....while I lost my fight for accommodation (although I got severance) and could not find any one who wanted a nurse with wheels......doesn't mean you can't.

    You are a great nurse! You are a great person! I want to see someone win! I want to see you win......((HUGS)) dear friend
    hear hear to all of the above!
    sharpeimom, Marshall1, Esme12, and 1 other like this.
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    Quote from Esme12
    I say take that last great act of defiance, turn and fight and declare an accommodation under the ADA. They are just gently easing you out the door and making you apologize for it....while I lost my fight for accommodation (although I got severance) and could not find any one who wanted a nurse with wheels......doesn't mean you can't.

    You are a great nurse! You are a great person! I want to see someone win! I want to see you win......((HUGS)) dear friend
    Awwww.......


    You know, now that I've had a couple days to mull things over, I think I'm going to be OK. My family has told me that it doesn't matter to them if I don't make as much money and we have to downsize, move to a less desireable area, and/or give up some of our luxuries (not that they are many). That pressure has always been with me---mostly because I put it on myself as the only breadwinner---and to have it lifted makes it so much easier to do what I must to preserve my sanity.

    I think I may have found at least a short-term solution to the dilemma that would keep me in nursing and yet be far less stressful. Our sister facility across town has an opening for a part-time RN to oversee their 26-bed memory care unit; it's essentially the same job I've been doing but I wouldn't be management, and I'd be hourly so I'd get paid for every minute I'm in the building. I've worked in that unit before as a consultant, I know the building well, and while I'm not wild about memory care, at least the doors lock........heck, I already manage a memory care unit, only we're not licensed for that and the residents can wander out the door and have pets they can't take care of!

    The main disadvantage here is knowing that the entire company is aware of my 'nonconformity' as it were, and they may not want to take another chance with me. There is also the issue of staffing: if someone called in on noc shift, I might have to cover it, and working nights is problematic as both my doctor and my family have forbidden it due to the likelihood that I'll decompensate.

    Thing is, I'm still capable of doing this type of work, and with a maximum of 26 residents as opposed to 80+ I can probably do it well. They wouldn't really even have to train me, except on the regs which have a few differences from ALF. And I wouldn't lose seniority or health insurance, though as a part-timer I'd have to pay some of the cost (I currently get it for myself for free).

    I haven't decided anything yet, except for the fact that I am going to leave my current position. Last night I tried to write my resignation letter and got all bogged down in mushy tears; I STILL don't want to go, but I know that I cannot stay where I am or I will be bat-guano crazy within weeks, if not sooner. I stayed home today because I just could NOT wrap my mind around going in feeling so fragile; I'm going to try tomorrow because I've made my decision and there's no reason to keep people hanging any longer than necessary.

    Thank you, one and all, for your support during this incredibly difficult time. You have helped start me on the road to healing, and it means more than you can ever know.
    silverbat, sharpeimom, Marshall1, and 1 other like this.
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    See? I have found more than once that getting screwed out of a job I loved was, in retrospect (and not very dang long retrospect, at that) the best thing that could have happened to me. So here. Chin up. You got this.

    Last edit by GrnTea on May 1, '13 : Reason: Friend request
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    "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly"...... Please try to remember what looks like an ending is also a beginning..the facilities inability to see that the failure of passing survey is more than just you is something they WILL see in the next few months. Give your notice. Be the one who resigns, not the one who is terminated. Many, many times in life, we are forced into situations where, if we are honest, we know we have had "warnings" along the way...another quote I like it is
    ""When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly"
    You can do this..you are an incredible asset to an employer - maybe look into working in mental health or with a council on aging or another LTC...your options are not as limited as they may seem now. We are rooting for you!
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    We need hospice nurses!!!!! And maybe a manager!

    (I'm not going to add anything else because everyone who has posted has done a superb job!)
    SoldierNurse22 and VivaLasViejas like this.
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    Isn't that the shoot...not once did they say you were worth it and did a good job. Sounds like every manager in every place I've worked except for one. If I were you I would get an ADN lawyer and keep the job you like. Seriously, they must accommodate you. If you like it there who cares what they say. Staff doesn't trust you; hey! staff doesn't like to be told what to do...get me!

    I say hold on in there and fight Do you think they are going to not let you finish survey just to let you go to another one of their places? Think again...

    ADA, lawyer, stay.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    I don't have that sort of fight left in me anymore.......in fact, I think they've found a way to let me go. I was going to go in at my normal time tomorrow, but my boss texted me this evening to come in at 0900 since there is "lots to discuss". Now THERE'S a reassuring thought. I asked him flat out if I'm being fired; he came up with something along the line of "I'm fried, and there's too much to talk about in a text message". He did not, however, say "No, you're not being let go"...and that pretty much told me everything I needed to know.

    TBH, I'm half-relieved. I need out SO badly---I realize that now after that disastrous attempt on Monday to go on with life as usual---but I'm curious as to how they're going to do it. Maybe they'll offer me that other job. Maybe they'll "encourage" me to put in my notice and then tell me I don't have to finish out the 30 days. Maybe they'll just tell me that they're not going to fight me when I file for unemployment benefits. I don't know.

    Thing is, they can't fire me for diverting narcotics, violating a company policy, or other misconduct---I've done absolutely NOTHING wrong---and they sure as shootin' can't fire me for being bipolar and having anxiety attacks. The truth remains that I can no longer do the job, and I don't expect them to keep me on when I can't perform the necessary work. But I have this feeling they've figured out how to get rid of me without risking a lawsuit.....their HR folks are awfully smart in that department and I can just see how they'd play this.

    Will keep y'all posted.
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    Quote from VivaLasViejas

    Will keep y'all posted.
    PRAYING FOR YOU!!
    VivaLasViejas and Spidey's mom like this.
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    Well, that horse I talked about has gotten off my foot........the end came at 0900 this morning.

    I think it was harder on my boss than it was on me. I've done my anticipatory grieving. He, on the other hand, was obviously upset and his voice broke more than once during our 20-minute discussion. He also gave me the biggest hug EVER and begged me to take care of myself......I know he's been worried about me for a long time, on a personal basis as well as professionally, and I think now that I'm free of this unceasing stress, I may even be able to get completely well. Wouldn't THAT be great!

    They're not going to fight me on unemployment. My record with this company is clean as a whistle, and I was not fired for doing anything wrong. I was fired because they can't meet the accommodations my doctor and I requested, and I can't do the job without them......that's how they were able to get rid of me without running afoul of the ADA.

    Ah, well, what's done is done, and it's a relief in a major sense. So many things I don't have to worry about anymore.....the residents we can't keep off the floor, the one who won't give up her Vicodin even though she overdoses on it regularly, the memory-care-eligible residents who sundown every afternoon and are brawling in the lobby by dinnertime. The endless falls and incident reports. The paperwork. All gone......it's somebody else's problem now.

    And my time to heal.
    Esme12, silverbat, TheCommuter, and 5 others like this.


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