Do Not Over-Share!

Bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are still very much stigmatized in many healthcare settings. Moreover, some physical ailments carry a stigma. Do you disclose your health problems to your employer? Do you disclose your prescribed medications? Nurses Announcements Archive Article

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I first met Toni in the Summer of 2010.

Toni (not her real name) was an average-height woman in her late 40s with a medium build, gray eyes and dark brown hair that fell several inches below her shoulders. She was a floor LVN at the same specialty rehab hospital where I still work. And she was one of the most proficient, highly skilled nurses I had ever met. With nearly 30 years of experience, this woman was a valuable resource who could run circles around virtually every other nurse on the unit. It's unfortunate I only got to work with her for a grand total of three months.

Toni lacked a verbal filter. She talked too much about her personal issues: the perpetually unemployed husband who cheated on her, the slacker adult children, and so forth. Once she revealed to her coworkers that she had bipolar disorder, they began to whisper to themselves, "This woman is so crazy!" As soon as she disclosed that she was not being treated for her issue, some coworkers placed a bulls-eye on her back and began to target her. And eight years of dedicated employment went down the drain as she was forced to resign over a questionable accusation made by a student nurse who was completing clinical rotations in the facility.

Prior to Toni's revelation that she suffered from bipolar disorder, no one bothered her.

Bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are still stigmatized in healthcare settings, whether or not anyone wants to believe it. I am cognizant that many state boards of nursing require nurses to disclose certain mental illnesses. However, if management or the employee health department at your place of employment is not asking about your health conditions, I would not divulge to any of your coworkers that you have any type of mental illness, because it is unfortunate and inevitable that some of these people will label you as 'nutty' or 'unstable.'

Also, develop an internal filter that will prevent you from sharing your personal problems that are none of your coworkers' business. Smile, be pleasant, and play the game. Do not over-share!

It took me some time to learn this lesson because I also have a history of mental health problems. I was treated for depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the distant past and took medications for a while. I am also an extreme introvert who doesn't particularly enjoy mingling and small talk. Prior to sharing too much information at a previous workplace several years ago, coworkers largely respected me. However, once I casually mentioned my childhood traumas and other personal issues surrounding depression, people began to whisper that I was "weird."

To wrap things up, Toni's forced resignation taught me a couple of lessons that will remain in my awareness for the rest of my working career. For starters, if no one is asking about your mental health issues at the job, do not share unless you wish to be stigmatized. Second, if no one is asking about your physical health problems at the job, I also see no need to share this information unless your employee health department has a specific reason to know.

Finally, get an internal filter as soon as possible. Talk about superficial topics such as the vacation you recently took, the wedding you attended or your kid's birthday party. Anything more personal is none of your coworkers' business.

It also helps to keep from being too tired, too hungry, too angry, too stressed, too worried, etc. Try to keep an even keel at work, and you will be less likely to blurt out something that you will regret.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Wow!Just wow! I am completely shocked @Commuter. That was a total misrepresentation of facts.Toni was insubordinate.

Bipolar disorder did not get Toni fired.

Loose lips did not get Toni fired.

Insubordination got Toni fired!Entirely different things...

Her behavior was inappropriate, but how is it that the student who didn't give the meds on time just skates away?

Specializes in Critical Care.
Wow!Just wow! I am completely shocked @Commuter. That was a total misrepresentation of facts.Toni was insubordinate.

Bipolar disorder did not get Toni fired.

Loose lips did not get Toni fired.

Insubordination got Toni fired!Entirely different things...

No that was not insubordination! Insubordination is when you are told by a supervisor to do something and you flat out refuse! That is insubordination. This was a case where she lost her temper in front of the supervisor and that was the reason she was let go! It is very important to keep your emotions in check and not lose your temper. If you have an anger management problem you need to recognize it and get treatment for it. Some people with depression and bipolar become irritable and have problems with anger management. Actually anyone can struggle with this, but you need to maintain control to keep your job! There are a variety of meds as well as therapy that can be used to treat anger problems. Nursing can be very frustrating and infuriating at times but you need to maintain control of your emotions, esp anger because it can be so destructive to one's relationships and job if not channeled correctly! If you are angry, it is best to walk away and calm down till you can speak and think rationally! Don't say anything till you are calm! We had a nurse let go because of her anger problem, but the funny thing is management tolerated her behavior for years, yelling, swearing, throwing things, temper tantrums, and she apparently felt she could keep right on. Someone should have nipped it in the bud years ago! Her termination was long overdue and it didn't have to happen she could have chose to get treatment and taken her problem seriously, but because she had gotten away with her behavior for so long she was actually surprised when the end came! I think she may have had ADHD as well as anger problems; regardless, she was an adult and needed to take responsibility for her own actions!

Specializes in Psych.

Keep it light people! Save your deep dark secrets to God or a therapist if you need one. If you are struggling with psyche issues get help so you can feel better and cope better with work and life in general! If you need meds to feel better give them a try. As a nurse you can research the meds and work with your dr to decide which one you would prefer and if it doesn't work try another. Also it doesn't necessarily mean you need meds for the rest of your life depending on the problem of course. Many women suffer from anxiety/depression or PTSD and with the proper meds and therapy can overcome this and get on with life. Sometimes short stints of meds bridge the gap between therapy, depending on the issue! Personally I think borderline is just a label they stick on people and many people with these traits are really undiagnosed PTSD for example. Many women have experienced abuse and sexual violence, men too, but more women, but it can be overcome, you don't have to spend your life living with anxiety/depression PTSD.

In college I was surrounded by women who had either a history of abuse or were victims of rape! It is very sad! I even had to take a friend to the ER who had been assaulted by two fellow coeds who had all worked together on a play, and she had gone out with them after the play was over only to find herself the victim of rape! That was my biggest takeaway from college and dorm life! It is well known certain men both in high school and esp frat men in college prey on the young women, esp freshmen, ply them with etoh or drug them to assault them! The only bitter consolation is in this day and age there is usually videotape to prove the crime and get them convicted. Just like what happened in Steubenville, although it took Anonymous to bring some justice for the victim!

Patients with bipolar are known for their creativity, some autism patients too are gifted in certain areas such as math or music. I believe I read there is a link between math and music. Also new research is showing oxytocin can help autistic people with social skills. Schizophrenia too would lend to creativity, although I think that should be treated with meds since the alternative could be losing touch with reality!

Seeing a therapist, getting meds is all grand in theory but that is admitting you have a mental health problem and BECAUSE of stigma like this, many people are too afraid to seek help to avoid being labeled. And yes, some mild-moderate mental illnesses can be treated by talk therapy alone and a limited course of meds, but if you have severe recurrent MDD, panic disorder, or bipolar disorder, that's a lifelong diagnosis that requires medication for the rest of your life, usually.

This is what scares the ever living bejeesus out of be about ever having another crisis, and when I would be IN that crisis to seek hospitalization like I have in the past. I have been burned too many times in the past having to disclose my own BP II at work because I've needed inpatient care, not because I was running my mouth. I have learned to basically "sit down and shut up". I do what I need to to keep my health intact but that doesn't mean my meds wont become less/ineffective someday, or might have an adverse reaction to meds, or to have a major serious life event that won't send me back to crisis mode. That's life with a severe, persistent mental illness. Not that we can't be safe and competent caregivers. We definitely can! Just never have an exacerbation, or talk to anyone about your illness. If any of you saw a coworker check his/her own blood sugar or inject themselves with insulin during a break, I doubt any of you would bat an eye, but to find out a co worker has a mental illness. *GASP* I think that's part of the reason so many of the mentally ill are in abject poverty, living off of SSDI. They are fundamentally told "you can't". It really makes me sad on a whole bunch of levels.

And hey now to frat guys LOL! I was in a sorority during my first degree and never met any fraternity men that were rapists. My husband was a frat guy and so were many people I still consider good friends.

I agree that those with bipolar or ASDs tend to be on the more creative side. As my therapist put it, we are "fluid thinkers" in a world created for the more "rigid thinkers" among us.

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Wow!Just wow! I am completely shocked @Commuter. That was a total misrepresentation of facts.Toni was insubordinate.

Bipolar disorder did not get Toni fired.

Loose lips did not get Toni fired.

Insubordination got Toni fired!Entirely different things...

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, insubordination is defined as not obeying authority and refusing to follow orders.

My former coworker's loud rant to the CNO does not exactly constitute disobedience of authority or refusal to follow orders. Therefore, Toni was not insurbodinate. Her complaint was loud, inappropriate and missing some much-needed tact, but she did not disobey anyone or refuse to follow orders.

Specializes in Eventually Midwifery.
It also helps to keep from being too tired, too hungry, too angry, too stressed, too worried, etc. Try to keep an even keel at work, and you will be less likely to blurt out something that you will regret.

When you have bi-polar disorder, it is VERY hard to keep an even keel. And at times, VERY hard to keep social filters on your conversation. I guess that is the argument for taking meds to treat the disorder, however those are not without side affects that can, at times, be almost as bad as the condition itself

Her behavior was inappropriate, but how is it that the student who didn't give the meds on time just skates away?

In bringing back focus to this discussion, the thread is titled, "Do not over-share", putting Toni in focus here.

Several things got them to that point- the student dropped the ball for not giving her medications as at when due; the instructor for not checking up on her student and Toni for not following up, for ultimately, the patient was hers.

The bone of contention here, is the way that the picture was painted of Toni parting ways from the company. It seemingly appears she was let go because of her tendency to over share information when in fact, she was let go, because of lousy and inappropriate behavior.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, insubordination is defined as not obeying authority and refusing to follow orders.

My former coworker's loud rant to the CNO does not exactly constitute disobedience of authority or refusal to follow orders. Therefore, Toni was not insurbodinate. Her complaint was loud, inappropriate and missing some much-needed tact, but she did not disobey anyone or refuse to follow orders.

And in that definition, you are completely right.

But please tell us, how Toni's over-sharing of information equate to her lousy and inappropriate behavior which ended up getting her terminated? She was culpable to the latter and not as a result of her over sharing tendencies.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
When you have bi-polar disorder, it is VERY hard to keep an even keel. And at times, VERY hard to keep social filters on your conversation. I guess that is the argument for taking meds to treat the disorder, however those are not without side affects that can, at times, be almost as bad as the condition itself

They certainly can be. Memory loss, extreme hunger and weight gain, loss of blood-glucose control, and tremors are a few of the ones I personally have encountered during my journey with bipolar medications.

But the alternative---not taking meds---would be far worse. As difficult as it is to be reminded twice daily that I have a mental illness, I'm thankful for my handful of sanity! I didn't realize how messy my life had become until I started that first mood stabilizer. Although my condition is such that I need an orificenal of meds to control it, my existence is so much better thanks to these drugs, not to mention good therapy and great care from my psychiatrist.

There are some who can manage bipolar disorder without medications, but they are much more rare than people realize. A lot of these folks think they can control the illness with natural remedies or nothing at all, when in reality they are often very unstable and cause all manner of difficulties for themselves and those around them. But then, meds by themselves don't guarantee stability, and they certainly don't cure us; they merely make it easier for us to deal with life a little better.

Specializes in SICU.

You know what the sad but real truth is? It's going to sound harsh and judgmental, but some people with mental disorders flat out need to be fired because they can't consistently perform the basic functions necessary to complete their job. Everyone wants there to be fair treatment to everyone under the sun and quote things like the Americans with Disabilities Act, but the fact is, that's not how life works. It's the same with physical disabilities.

For instance, every nursing job I've ever applied to says something like, "Must be able to bend and lift 30 lbs" or something to that nature. There are people out there, nurses even, who cannot bend and lift 30 lbs. The sad but real truth is, they shouldn't be hired, even if it's a disability that is keeping them from performing the job. In the same way, if someone with mental problems, whether neatly diagnosed or not, is causing disorder and disruption in their workplace, it may be that they need to be fired, regardless if it's because they're "disabled" or not.

It's unfortunate, but it's life.

It's definitely not as simple as 'go take some meds' or talk to somebody. I think if I was Bipolar, I would probably prefer the wild mood swings to being on meds that hindered my emotions.

Regardless, the point of the article is definitely valid. Share personal things with personal friends, and be professional with professional ones. And women (sorry, women) need this message potentially even more than men. Women tend to talk and talk with emotions, regardless of whether they're bipolar or not. Like the proverb says, Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. (Proverbs 26:20, The Bible.)

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

Over-sharing applies to far more than mental illness. Over-sharing your religious beliefs, romantic or financial difficulties or your opinions on politics can be just as detrimental to good working relationships and thus job security.

You call it candor? That was too much information that didn't need sharing in a workplace environment. The revelation of her "bipolar disorder" was the concrete reason for management to part ways with her. Might make one wonder what she shared with her patients.

If it was that easy for her coworkers to turn on her, they must not have really liked her in the first place.

They turn as easily as pages in a book. Some of them don't want to be painted with the same brush, that is, they like her as a person and respect her nursing abilities, but think that, if they are outwardly friends with her, they will become anathema in the eyes of their peers and superiors.

Best to talk about your roses and the weather on the job, otherwise be mum.