Tired of hearing about the kids.

Nurses Relations

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I don't know why this bothers me. Probably because I spend five days a week working my butt off in an pediatric emergency room and I am tired! Here is what bothers me.

We started out with full time nurses who worked really hard. Then they all decided at the age of 40 that they wanted to return to school to be FNP's. Fine. Your entitled to enrich your life. Most of them went part time and some PRN. For those who decided to not return to school decided to get pregnant. Every year. Again. Fine. I don't have to take care of them, so have as many kids as you would like. Here in lies the problem. I have kids of my own. I see 200 crying children a day. The ONE day a month you decide to come to work, all you want to do is talk about your kids, show pictures and videos. Try working or picking up patients. I am overloaded with kids and do not want to see your videos. People need to realize, just because YOU enjoy your kids and their every milestone, does not mean your co-workers want to as well. How do you tell your once a month, or 8 hour a week co-worker that you dont want to hear anything about their kids? An occasional picture is OK. But these people are overloading us with pictures and videos. It's so annoying. Can we have some adult conversation?

"many women view infertility as a character flaw and that they have dome something wrong to "desreve this" somehow

"

this is what always baffled me. i had 7 week-long cycles as a teenager, so i was naturally ovulating about half as often as most women do. then i used hormonal birth control for so many years (13 years on the pill, then got a mirena) that i no longer had a cycle at all. this has to do with hormones, it's as much of an indication of character as having flat feet.

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Plasmatix, you know, I do know someone that I used to work with who, got married and then pregnant ONLY because, her words, "In my family you are nobody if you don't have kids". I remember she suddenly started dating, and actually drilled me if i thought her boyfriend was cute, or not... She treats him like her slave BTW. It's truly disgusting. He is a doormat. She even slaps or punches him hard in the arm if he fails to follow her orders. I just know she has no feelings for him (he is a dork) but I feel sorry for him, I think he likes her and she was his only chance. On top of all this, she let me know he probably will inherit millions some day from his mom who remarried rich -- the other reason why she married him.

The older you get, the more you realize how many people you wish you didn't know...

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I have to admit that there are some women I know who have bragged about not having children, and I couldn't help but think "Thank God." Some of them I wouldn't want to care for a stray dog. However, I don't think that of everyone who decides not to have children.

I once had a manager who was in her 40s and never had any children. She loved to brag (the same way people annoyingly brag about their children) about how she had no kids so she could buy all the nice clothes and vacations she wanted. She all but said that pregnant women's brains were inferior to everyone else's. She assumed that pregnant women had poorer job performance before she would have chance to see how a certain pregnant woman would perform on the job (we were doing customer service on the phone: not exactly busting rocks).

But what everyone found out about her is that she would never have a child because she demanded all the attention of her husband and father. Everything was about her. We thought it was funny/odd that she bragged so about not having children but attempted to micro-manage and treat everyone like a child that supervised.

I am not saying that about anyone in this thread. I do not know you personally. But there are some women who have told me they didn't want children, and I thought that was best for all involved (or unborn).

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"i have to admit that there are some women i know who have bragged about not having children, and i couldn't help but think "thank god."

i never even mention children (or lack of) unless somebody else brings it up. i've got nobody paying attention to me besides my husband and my cat, and honestly the husband is a bonus - even if it were just the cat, i'd be perfectly happy.

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Specializes in Pediatric Hem/Onc.

I find this behavior annoying. If it gets too bad, or if I'm just not in the mood to play nice.....I start gushing about the various milestones my cat has accomplished in the past 2 weeks. After a few annoyed looks from the proud mother (which makes makes me giggle inside) she'll either take the hint and change the subject, or walk away. It's a win either way.

I've told my non work friends the same thing, and they get the same response. People don't realize how much time I spend cooing, playing, and interacting with kids. If I ask you out to lunch, don't assume bringing your 2 kids under 5 is okay. Sure I love them, but dang it.....I need grown up time! So annoying.

Don't get me wrong, I love working with kids, and I love that my friends' kids call me Aunt Shannon.....but that doesn't mean I want to be bombarded with the tales of prodigal son/daughter every flipping day. Some women think their purpose in life is to breed, which is fine. Personally, if I was given the option of a puppy or a baby, I'd be shopping for leashes in a heartbeat. I'm 34 and childless intentionally :w00t:

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

something that has always bugged me is when people assume that because we're childless, we hate kids.

we had a premie son who lived just a few weeks, and i also had several miscarriages along the way.

another reason i've found it difficult to look at baby and adorable kid pictures at various times in my

life was because i was working through my grief. not something i'm comfortable talking about with an

excited new mama or grandma.

don't push us into looking at scads of pictures of your sweetums. there may just be a valid reason other

than kid hating when someone doesn't share your wild enthusiasm.

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I had a preceptor like this, and it was rediculous. She seriously would tell me to hang on a second when I needed her because my patient was having runs of VTach. She would be like "hang on I'm video chatting with the baby"......She was 5 months old:eek:

I just wanted to tell her "ok I'll try to keep this man alive so you can finish your conversation with your baby who is sleeping on skype" I have two kids who are my entire world and I love them more then anything on the planet, I miss them like crazy, and I the only reason I would hate work would be because I miss my munchkins, but I would never act like this.

I precepted with this lady woman for 4 weeks and not one time (NOT ONCE :eek:) did she ever ask about me or my family. It came up in a conversation after work one night and she was astonished that I had kids....I always try to get to know people, ask about their families and such. I am a mommy, but I dont think I fall into the category of "The Mommies", they seem to be a self-absorbed group of people who think the entire world revolves around them.

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Specializes in RN.

Thanks for posting this!!! Sooooo tired of this also....

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Specializes in Operating Room Nursing.

I'm also tired of hearing about kids, grandkids from some people all the time.

I'm also fed up with one particular person who brings her baby into work and changes them on the tea room table (where we eat!) without disinfecting it and while people are eating! We've told her to stop doing it but she just ignores us or gets affronted. So sorry I don't like the smell of your kids dirty nappy while I'm having my lunch. :uhoh3:

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

[quote=scrubby;6095019

i'm also fed up with one particular person who brings her baby into work and changes them on the tea room table (where we eat!) without disinfecting it and while people are eating! we've told her to stop doing it but she just ignores us or gets affronted. so sorry i don't like the smell of your kids dirty nappy while i'm having my lunch. :uhoh3:

blecch!:flamesonb:madface::eek::no: as my grandma used to say, "some folks aren't born

with the sense they should have been!"

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Specializes in none.
Yes I too would be greatly annoyed by this! I like looking at some pics, but when people want to show you 50,000 photos of basically the same image it gets highly boring.

Can't you tell them straight or schedule a meeting for everyone with the NUM?

There is a diversion tactic we use in psych nursing that may work as well:

When they bring out the photos/videos (can't believe they have TIME to do this in an ED/ER!), don't look at it, then say something like: I'm very busy can you do such and such for me (or whatever). DO NOT COMMENT ON THE PHOTO etc. If u do then they are sucking you in (for want of a better word) to 'their world'. If you start commenting to be polite, they automatically take that that you're interested & go on and on. Just keep diverting the conversation away from what they are showing you, & they will get the message, believe me.

I'm sorry but I don't tolerate any BS now; I'd be onto the NUM right away. Do it today if you're at work and lodge a complaint if it's that bad. The NUM may not be aware this is happening.

Let us know how u get on anyway.

I agree with you 100%. Are they there for their kids or the kids they are paid to take care of. The Milestones are nothing. Once a co worker brought in pictures of her kid - thousands of the them. While the call lights were twinkling like Christmas in New York, she kept saying ,"Now this is Little Joey's first bath, Now this one is Little Joey's second bath, this is Little Joey being dried, Now here I am putting Little Joey's shirt on.." She looked at me and saw that I was board. She said "Don't you like my little Joey?" I said, It's not that I'm waiting for you to show us little Joey's First Exorcism" I walk away. She never show me another picture of Little Joey.

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Specializes in Rehab, Neuro, Travel Nurse, Home Care.

Thank you for posting about this. I usually ignore it or I say "Aw he/she is cute" then I keep it moving. I hate when call bells are going off and the RN is ignoring it because she is facetiming or skyping with her baby. That really aggravates me to no end.

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