Red in the Face

by jadelpn 5,996 Views | 13 Comments Guide

I am often taken aback by the parental tone used by those in charge as a form of communication with other professional adults. Since when is yelling considered appropriate? It, in my opinion, undermines the professional demeanor that the powers that be want to have reflected on a unit.

  1. 5

    Red in the Face

    A short story: I had a really nice exchange with a manager. Walked back onto my unit, smiling, just thinking about good things. Co-worker is leaving the unit, I don't notice anything amiss, we pass close to the nurses station. The co-worker who is lovely, says to me "why are you smiling so broadly?" I say, "well, I had a nice exchange......" Just then from down the hall is the charge nurse, who is with the DON and another manager. yells (loudly) "Jade JUST let her GOOOOOO". I was surprised, shocked that I was yelled at like a child, turned scarlett, my co-worker teared up and left, and I was really, really embarrassed. So much so, that 24 hours later, I am still perseverating on it. Both the DON and other manager just sort of shook their heads (at me) and tsk-tsk'd. Literally---tounge clacking and everything. Oh, and then the patient that then said "Jade you sure got a talking to...." Oh, great, they heard it too.

    There are staff nurses who don't get into the politics of any given situation. I have not a clue, even now, why the co-worker left, was asked to leave, and not sure why the co-worker would in the midst of leaving stop to ask me about why i was smiling. Except for she is lovely, and does have nice words for co-workers.

    I am often taken aback by the parental tone used by those in charge as a form of communication with other professional adults. Since when is yelling considered appropriate? It, in my opinion, undermines the professional demeanor that the powers that be want to have reflected on a unit.

    I am a private person, and know that a number of my co-workers are as well. Additionally, there is not a whole lot of time to exchange more than the most basic of pleasantries. But we all relish in the delight of other co-workers accomplishments. They are usually hard fought. But what a difference when a person in charge doesn't hear the exchange, but inappropriately confronts regarding the exchange. I have seen 2 nurses arguing in a forced loud "whisper" and the charge just sits back and lets them have at it. When complaints of inappropriate behavior falls on deaf ears. That communications regarding patients are like the game of "Telephone" and finally, when a nurse reviews a chart, it is far, far different than what was reported. However, a nice passing in the hall exchange, normal tone of voice, is apparently forbidden.

    We don't always have our hands on the pulse of exchanges with other co-workers. Especially when we are just coming onto a unit. Most of us take the time to say a few words, exchange a few thoughts, and move on. Communication in it's most professional form, doesn't mean yelling down the hall. Especially in front of DON and others that would question one's professionalism. Moreso out of the mouth of the charge person.
    Last edit by Joe V on Oct 17, '13
    NF_eyenurse, VivaLasViejas, Lev <3, and 2 others like this.
  2. Read more articles from jadelpn

  3. About jadelpn

    jadelpn joined Nov '08 - from 'Massachusetts'. Age: 48 jadelpn has '25' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'ER, Med Surg'. Posts: 3,257 Likes: 7,106; Learn more about jadelpn by visiting their allnursesPage

    13 Comments so far...

  4. 4
    Hopefully the DON saw that the Charge was making incorrect assumptions about what you were saying, and that she was making a rear-end out of herself in the process! It's never appropriate to yell, and we always must be careful about assumptions! Hopefully, the DON didn't get to her position by agreeing with that kind of childish behavior.

    I'm glad to hear the kindness in your tone. I too, try to be supportive to my fellow nurses and say a few kind words when I pass or at the Pyxis, wherever. For the charge to assume you were doing otherwise reflects on her poor judgement and possibly, on her paranoia.
  5. 7
    What a b****.
    rlev, nrsang97, NurseDirtyBird, and 4 others like this.
  6. 5
    Yes, that was quite a great piece of judgment....NOT. Makes me wonder if they have any idea of how ridiculous it sounds for a full-grown professional adult to yell at another full-grown professional adult.

    My guess is "nope". Sorry you were treated that way.
    Forest2, nrsang97, gonzo1, and 2 others like this.
  7. 3
    Sounds like you're being treated like a junior high student instead of a registered nurse! :-p

    Either let it roll off your shoulders or do something about it if it becomes an ongoing problem. Maybe the charge had a crappy day. Don't let their crappy day turn into your crappy day. If they're just a crappy person, gotta stand up for yourself and report abusive behavior... or just accept that you work with a crappy person and expect the worst and be surprised by ANYTHING that comes out of their mouth that isn't diaper-worthy.

    You seem polite and sensible, maybe a little sensitive. Sorry people were poopy to you! You deserve better : D

    Cheers!
    rlev, jadelpn, and gonzo1 like this.
  8. 1
    I usually am not so sensitive. However, what got me (besides the screaming part LOL) was that a patient overheard it (as did 3/4 of the unit) and it is not something I like to start out with a patient assignment with......

    Bad day or not, no excuse for it. AND come to find out, the other nurse had some extraordinarily bad news that she needed to take a moment to sort of chat and calm before facing her issue.

    The DON is very "into" creating her own world, that minions that have history with the facility should be banished.....however, only game in town for me at present, so deep breath and carry on....
    rlev likes this.
  9. 9
    Quote from jadelpn
    I usually am not so sensitive. However, what got me (besides the screaming part LOL) was that a patient overheard it (as did 3/4 of the unit) and it is not something I like to start out with a patient assignment with......

    Bad day or not, no excuse for it. AND come to find out, the other nurse had some extraordinarily bad news that she needed to take a moment to sort of chat and calm before facing her issue.

    The DON is very "into" creating her own world, that minions that have history with the facility should be banished.....however, only game in town for me at present, so deep breath and carry on....
    Reminds me of a circumstance when I was the ER nurse and the supervisor came into the ER and yelled at me for something she had gotten completely wrong. As she walked away, the patient said "What got up her butt?". The sup heard that and came back in to apologize to me and to the patient.

    I appreciated that.
    rlev, poppycat, SE_BSN_RN, and 6 others like this.
  10. 5
    I have the advantage of speaking a foreign language. I just cuss them out in my own language. This gives me an opportunity to vent my feelings and at the same time enjoy the fact that they did not understand. When they ask me, "What did you just say?" I tell them, "You don't want to know. I know you love your mother very much." and walk away.
    rlev, Orca, Ir15hd4nc3r_RN, and 2 others like this.
  11. 3
    Quote from Vishwamitr
    I have the advantage of speaking a foreign language. I just cuss them out in my own language. This gives me an opportunity to vent my feelings and at the same time enjoy the fact that they did not understand. When they ask me, "What did you just say?" I tell them, "You don't want to know. I know you love your mother very much." and walk away.

    Oh, this is really, really funny.
    rlev, poppycat, and SE_BSN_RN like this.
  12. 1
    I'm kind of confused by the first paragraph of this story. If I am understanding you, you were talking to a coworker and your DON either told you to let the coworker go or that they were just let go. idk
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.


Top