Please Help - I have no where else to turn

[abbaking]

In a nutshell, I am so fed up with nursing that I will do anything to avoid it. 10 minutes into my shift it was a madhouse. I didnt ever recieve any report yet and The call lights were going off like crazy. I went into a room 12 to check on the lady in the second bed since she had called for something. I could not even get to her because the lady in bed one (whom I have never met before) began to verbally and physically attack me. This is only some of what the crazy lady in bed one said (replace with curse word in your mind since i cant post them on here) :

"Knock on the door you fat jerk. Are you a nurse or an idiot. Your a fat piece of lard. I have rights. I pay your salary and I dont care if Obama was here you will do what I say. I will find where you live and have you TAKEN CARE OF".

The patient began to throw the meal utensils at me and anything she could grab. I backed out of there.

In 10 years of bedside experience, I have NEVER seen this much verbal abuse and aggression directed towards me - EVER!!

And in 10 years of bedside experience i have never lost my cool - except tonight. I SCREAMED back at this vile lunatic of a person as loud as possible to back, relax, and not give me any crap cause I will not tolerate it. I told hee I have feelings too and she will not abuse me. My stress and anxiety boiled over and I lost my cool by screaming at her (although I must say, she did deserve it).

The lunatic called the house supervisor and demanded everything under the sun. At this point i was outside my body watching myself react. My adrenaline was in full swing, I was shaking uncontrolably and i was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. I gathered my backpack and I left. I told the team leader the entire situation and she said to go home and relax. She said that I was not fit to work in the condition i was in being a nervous wreck.

Before I left i told the house supervisor my side of the story and email my boss. I am now home.

Regardless of how "I could have handled the situation differently", I want to make it very clear that this patient was beyond out of line. Nobody - NOBODY deserves what i experienced tonight.

I am in a deep state of shock right now. I am severely depressed and i have awful anxiety. I am so streesed. I am on one hand happy that i stood up for myself and put this lunatic back in her place. On the other hand I feel like an ass.

Regardless, I realized that I cant do nursing anymore. All the deliberate short staffing, terrible hours, bad working conditions, and stupid people all served as the backdrop for my breakdown tonight.

I dont think I can even go back to work. I am thinking about going to my doctor tomorrow and asking for emergency FMLA time (work induced stress/depression). I think I am going crazy.

If anyone can offer any advise or words of encouragement - I need it now. I am home crying and just feeling terrible

[BlueDevil,DNP, DNP, RN]

I'd like a little more background data before rounding up villagers with pitchforks and torches and advocating for the patient's arrest or the OPs public stoning. I have no idea if this is a dementia unit or a peds oncology unit! Losing one's cool and screaming your fool head off is generally a suboptimal response, but after pointing out the obvious I wont shame the OP for it. I've done it. Not at work, but at my kids for sure! If someone pushes the right buttons it is possible to trigger such a response form me, I'm not perfect so I can't cast a stone. I will say that I suspect there is more than one thing wrong in this scenario and more than one person has an acute lorazepam deficiency. Whom those persons are (and it is probably not even limited to two, lol), I could not say at this point with any degree of certainty.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

acute lorazepam deficiency

If only we could add it to drinking water, like fluoride.

[jl0p3z85]

Upon reading all these posts i'm reading press charges for assault this and assault that. The client DID threaten to find out where nurse lived and have her "taken care of"... But the client also started throwing stuff at her.... Isn't that battery? Anything you throw can be an extension of your body, thus qualifies as indirect physical harm? Wouldn't this case be considered assault AND battery if you were to take this to court? I just wanna clarify this...

My heart goes out to you! What to say that already hasn't been said... I'm siding with you because it really does boil my blood when patients think they can treat nurses like dirt and think that they are priority number one. My hat is off to ALL of you nurses who have dealt or deal with this type of treatment on a daily basis.

[TopazLover, BSN, RN]

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/please-help-i-754709-page9.html#post6689779

Bookmark this and copy it. Take it to your next staff meeting. It takes guts to stand up for yourself and other nurses. Do it.

One poster was concerned about using the EAP due to confidentiality issues. While I understand the concern I would point out that they are not employees of the facility. They are independent contractors who would risk their livelihood if they violated HIPAA. The facility hires them for their skills, knowledge, and licenses. They are to be utilized to assist workers to be able to continue to work at the facility. it costs a great deal of money to train new workers all the time so keeping workers is important to facilities. Increased use of this resource shows the employer there is a problem. it takes a great deal of evidence for an institution to change. That cannot happen if the players run away from a facility only to land in another with the same issues. Well run places embrace employee suggestions because that means they are invested in making it better. I read "hotel service", "Hilton" , blah, blah. The most successful hotel chains value the input from their staff.

Those of you who give all this power to the employer are sheep who are being pushed. If you want to be a lamb, fine. If you want to be a nurse, advocate for your patients, support your co-workers, effect change for the better than you can no longer be the sheep in the flock. As you continue in your flock mentality you lose your healthy mind and are left with mental health issues or use chemicals to subdue your urges to hurt yourself or someone else. No job is worth this. If you leave your chances of being hired by another place that has flock mentality is high. Who will have the vacancies to fill? Those who cannot keep employees. You become part of the downward spiral of poor care instead of the nurse you were wanting to be.

[OCNRN63, RN]

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/please-help-i-754709-page9.html#post6689779

bookmark this and copy it. take it to your next staff meeting. it takes guts to stand up for yourself and other nurses. do it.

one poster was concerned about using the eap due to confidentiality issues. while i understand the concern i would point out that they are not employees of the facility. they are independent contractors who would risk their livelihood if they violated hipaa. the facility hires them for their skills, knowledge, and licenses. they are to be utilized to assist workers to be able to continue to work at the facility. it costs a great deal of money to train new workers all the time so keeping workers is important to facilities. increased use of this resource shows the employer there is a problem. it takes a great deal of evidence for an institution to change. that cannot happen if the players run away from a facility only to land in another with the same issues. well run places embrace employee suggestions because that means they are invested in making it better. i read "hotel service", "hilton" , blah, blah. the most successful hotel chains value the input from their staff.

those of you who give all this power to the employer are sheep who are being pushed. if you want to be a lamb, fine. if you want to be a nurse, advocate for your patients, support your co-workers, effect change for the better than you can no longer be the sheep in the flock. as you continue in your flock mentality you lose your healthy mind and are left with mental health issues or use chemicals to subdue your urges to hurt yourself or someone else. no job is worth this. if you leave your chances of being hired by another place that has flock mentality is high. who will have the vacancies to fill? those who cannot keep employees. you become part of the downward spiral of poor care instead of the nurse you were wanting to be.

they're also the providers the facility chooses, even though they may be independent contractors.. i know of one incident where this bit someone in the butt. i would want to get counseling from someone completely out of the clutches of the facility.

with jobs so difficult to obtain and maintain, i wouldn't want to give a facility any ammo to use against me. gok they're good enough at creating their own; don't need to give them even more to add to the pile.

[TopazLover, BSN, RN]

I would hope that the person injured by the EAP reported it to everyone possible. HIPAA. licensing, insurance comssioners an anyone else they could find.

We need to be flying danger flags when these things happen. I understand it is difficult to be a whistle blower and the safeguards for them have few teeth.

Labor history tells us about the thugs that used to be hired to keep employees in line. Now employers have different thugs. You cannot just sit back and accept that if you want to be able to look yourself in the mirror.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

How are you doing today OP?

[crazyoldnurse]

HELLO OTHER Nurse. I too am totally disgusted with what I call the "ENTITLEMENT VIRUS". I have a BSN 37 yrs of Nursing experience. I have just recently been called a "C" word. had a urinal thrown at me...full of course.It would be bearable if I was included in the clique that used to be called a "team" but I am an older Nurse so I am excluded and have REALLY been bullied... I have been reported "anonymously" to the State requiring an investigation. not once, not twice but three times. Talk about horizontal VIOLENCE. All this drama is just a deja vue to the factory mentality promoted by Henry Ford. It is just a red herring to keep us down. So Florence N would turn over in her grave. We are going to be managers of M.A's and we will be a dime a dozen. Forget this crisis...Read PROVERBS at least once a week. I do not presume that you are a Bible reader but PROVERBS is the best "self-help" book I have ever read. Make sure you have a good support system outside of work.God Bless.

[NurseCard, ADN]

Oh wow honey... please please, indeed take some time off. Do see if you can get

a doctor to see you and maybe you can get some time off.

Wow... I could have written that very post, some days. Do take some time off

hon... :hug:

Feel better soon!!!!

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

That just sucks! I'm a behavioral health nurse and get this all of the time. I can tell you that the next time something like this happens, you will have the experience to deal with it. If my pt throws utensils, they get to have plastic ones for quite awhile. If they threaten to hurt me or my staff, they get an experience with restraints and security assisting. I can't imagine how nurses deal with this on a med surge unit. What a horrible day! What a learning experience too! Some people suck butt and I'm sorry you had to go through so much. Rest and realize you could have reacted in a much much more unprofessional manner.

[mclennan, BSN, RN]

"Acute lorazepam deficiency." LOVE THAT. Also, your avatar rocks.

[abbaking]

Hello Everyone --- thank you all for your compassion, words of encouragement and advise. It really has helped me cope during the past 48 hours.

I wish I could say that I went home from work on sunday (the day this incident occured), relaxed and went to bed with a clear head, but that would be a bold face lie. In reality, I think i had a catharsis at work. Perhaps its the conflicting values of being a caregiver and the ideology not to abuse a patient that kept my brain up all night. Maybe it was a combination of the terrible workloads, the stress from administration pestering the floor staff about JCAHO crap, the rise in the level of verbally and physically combative patients and the never-ending excuses from the powers that be not to hire more staff. In other words, this was a volcano waiting to erupt - sooner or later. And by the time I got home, lets just say that Norco and Vodka, a hot bath and a marlboro red 100 cigarette make a GREAT post traumatic tranquilizer.

I am thankful that I have time off work the next few days - I am scheduled to work Friday and Saturday nights, but time will tell if I will be working. I am seriously considering disability time off work - The simple prospect of going in makes me sick to my stomach, i get dizzy, i have a terrible feeling about my job and the patients. Basically I have come to the conclusion no nurse wants to make --- I HAVE SEVERE BURNOUT!

Bitterness is a good word to describe how I feel overall. I need time off to reflect and to understand. I want to take -ME- time. How many times as nurses do we focus on others more so than ourselves?

In terms of the specifics I did not address in my post (about the patient, the actions, etc) , the more I think about it the more I am convinced I was confronting Satan himself disguised as a human. Maybe thats my Catholic upbringing talking there, but In 10 years of nursing experience I have never encountered such vile hate and anger. Be it directed at me or not, the fact of the matter is this patient (from what i could see was alert and oriented) was full of hate. She looked like a meth user or a crack head due to the unkept appearence, the missing teeth and the erratic behavior.

She had threatened me with her attorney. (this is where I began to explode) I told her that drug addicted people like her cant afford an attorney and that what little money they do have goes to Wal-mart and Crack-Cocaine. I told her that staff have rights too and one of them is to be treated with respect. I told her it is a FELONY to assault and batter another person and that any competent judge would throw her in Betty Ford and then in Chowchilla (womens prison).

Basically I told this creature of Hate everything that needed to be said -- No fluff, no sugar coating, no bs. As a person and as a member of the human species, I want to know where it is that says that your basic rights are denied when you are a nurse. There is this notion that exists that expects nurses to be abused and take more abuse and then say "On its no problem at all, you were confused, or angry or this or that". As long as I am still a member of the human species, I WILL be treated with respect and I WILL NOT TOLERATE ABUSE WHATSOEVER,

Sorry If I am rambling. I needed to get this trauma off my chest. I really think I am going to take time off for FMLA (disability - paid in the state of California), relax, take ME time and perhaps see a therapist.