Can't we all just get along??

Nurses Relations

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Long time lurker, new time poster. It seems to me that there is a lot of anger and hate directed toward one another on these boards. My question is WHY? It feels like these boards are just a microcosm of how nurses are to each other in real life. Why are nurses so mean, caddy and rude to each other. Maybe this is the reason that although we clearly outnumber other healthcare professionals we can't ever get anything done, advance our profession...because we are too busy quabbling over meaningless BS and trying to put one another down. I know that this isn't everyone, and I have seen some great and supportive posts, but holy moly!

Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

I think you've answered your own lead-off question. You started a thread, asking for opinions on why people can be "mean and catty" behind the anonymity of internet message boards. You've gotten some very honest answers as to why this is. And then BAM, you come back with a highly defensive response that seems to be the very definition of how an initially innocent post escalates quickly into the exact thing you lamented about. Is this irony in its finest form, or what?!

There are plenty of viewpoints and opinions that are very mean and rude. Whether they get reported, I have no idea. If you didn't like my opinion maybe you shouldn't have read this post.
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Specializes in GI,Telemetry, Trauma ICU, Endoscopy.
I think you've answered your own lead-off question. You started a thread, asking for opinions on why people can be "mean and catty" behind the anonymity of internet message boards. You've gotten some very honest answers as to why this is. And then BAM, you come back with a highly defensive response that seems to be the very definition of how an initially innocent post escalates quickly into the exact thing you lamented about. Is this irony in its finest form, or what?!

I already apologized for this, no need to kick a dead horse. Also, I wasn't talking about cattiness behind the anonymity of the boards, that is the discussion that this thread has morphed into. My commentary wasn't as much about this board but on nursing in general. I still hold the opinion that nurses can needlessly act negative toward each other, which is highlighted by some of the responses to this thread.

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Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

I respond as I read, so my opinions aren't "clouded" by the responses of those that have come before me...

I already apologized for this, no need to kick a dead horse. Also, I wasn't talking about cattiness behind the anonymity of the boards, that is the discussion that this thread has morphed into. My commentary wasn't as much about this board but on nursing in general. I still hold the opinion that nurses can needlessly act negative toward each other, which is highlighted by some of the responses to this thread.
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Specializes in LTC.

Are some folks just new to online message boards and forums? The arguments/flame wars/highly opinionated differences of opinion are not unique to nurses or AN. Combine human feelings and emotions on anonymous online sites and things are bound to get hot every once in a while. This happens everywhere....other professional message boards, political message boards, heck even TV message boards just to name a few. It is what it is.

Personally I love message boards and online communities where I am challenged to think about my positions and opinions. AN does that a lot. In addition, there is such a huge wealth of knowledge here..the dust ups and flame ups can't take away from that.

Long live AN.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

This board provides a lot of info, real world advice and truth about the gritty reality of nursing! I find the same issues and gimmicks the hospital is pushing is happening everywhere across the country! It is good to know one is not alone and it helps to share and learn from what others are experiencing, dealing with and how they are coping and trying to work around the minefield that is nursing! It's not all rainbows and butterflies!

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There are plenty of viewpoints and opinions that are very mean and rude. Whether they get reported I have no idea. If you didn't like my opinion maybe you shouldn't have read this post.[/quote']

There definitely are plenty of responses to posts that can be harsher than others. I sometimes dont understand it when a new member or maybe a naive member posts without knowing the culture of this board and then the responses are harsher than needed. There is a difference between being straight to the point while communicating respectfully and cutting a poster down to size with harsh realities in the name of "keeping it real".

Balance.

Some posters can just be a lot harder on posters who come looking for a mentoring type of environment but get the truth handed to them in a barf bag. Its the internet, its what you can expect basically. Yes us new nurses expect one thing in the profession but the reality is that its not all roses. I think after a while many nurses get tired of tip toeing around "client" and family feelings and professional encounters that when it comes to this forum there is just no energy for sweet stepping "silly" questions.

And then.....us nursing students...... we who do everything by the textbook and have therapeutic communication and nursing compassion shoved down our throats tend to expect things to translate beyond our books and tests. But its just not the way it always is.

People are people.... professionals or not we all judge and demean others concerns or questions. Its just how it is unfortunately. Ive been working on growing a thick skin.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I still hold the opinion that nurses can needlessly act negative toward each other, which is highlighted by some of the responses to this thread.

Especially some of your own responses to this thread!

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No, we can't just all get along. It's human nature. Deal with it.

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I still hold the opinion that nurses can needlessly act negative toward each other, which is highlighted by some of the responses to this thread.

People can needlessly act negative toward each other, nurses don't have a monopoly on that.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Allnurses.com ain't no hippy drum circle, and thank the heavens for that! It's a place to learn, vent, argue, debate, gripe, discuss controversial topics, argue tirelessly over every issue under the sun, and that's why this thread has four pages worth of replies. Our profession involves bodily fluids, high emotions, higher stress, adrenaline spikes, and the sheer pig-headed determination to carry on without falling to pieces... throwing a little passionate discourse into the mix seems pretty par for the course.

I use the internet to laugh at pictures of cats doing silly things, watch youtube videos of teenage daredevils try to idiotically remove themselves from the gene pool, and to use this website like a company watercooler. You might find it hateful, but I find it decidedly not boring, and that's enough for me.

This post is a thing of beauty. I'm tempted to add, "Allnurses ain't no hippy drum circle" to my signature line.

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Specializes in ICU, Renal.

Newly returned to this site. I enjoy the free exchange of opinions here from intelligent, like-minded people. But I have to say I agree with Cal-Neva about how we nurses, generally speaking, can be rude and try to put each other down. There is much less of it than there was in the past, thank goodness, but I still witness it, in fact, I've seen recent info/articles about bullying in nursing (and other professions), and to some extent I used to be one.

Why is this? Speaking only for myself, I can say that sometimes I needed to make myself feel better by putting someone else down; sometimes I was stressed, hungry, tired, worried, had to go to the bathroom but couldn't, etc; sometimes I was just in a bad mood and had to pounce on other's weakness, I guess, but most of all I think I just didn't know how to really get along- it was more important to get stuff done than get along.

My bad, but I've moved on and now I try really hard to get along with everyone and give people the benefit of the doubt, so I like myself a whole lot better.

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Newly returned to this site. I enjoy the free exchange of opinions here from intelligent like-minded people. But I have to say I agree with Cal-Neva about how we nurses, generally speaking, can be rude and try to put each other down. There is much less of it than there was in the past, thank goodness, but I still witness it, in fact, I've seen recent info/articles about bullying in nursing (and other professions), and to some extent I used to be one. Why is this? Speaking only for myself, I can say that sometimes I needed to make myself feel better by putting someone else down; sometimes I was stressed, hungry, tired, worried, had to go to the bathroom but couldn't, etc; sometimes I was just in a bad mood and had to pounce on other's weakness, I guess, but most of all I think I just didn't know how to really get along- it was more important to get stuff done than get along. My bad, but I've moved on and now I try really hard to get along with everyone and give people the benefit of the doubt, so I like myself a whole lot better.[/quote']

Wow. You are the first nurse I've seen to admit that you are/were a bully.

Good luck on changing for the better! At least you're trying!

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