Running off Grief - page 2

I know this exact feeling. There are no words for it, it just burns inside of you and you can't do anything about it. Nicely written.

I was on a singles cruise a month ago. We were on a catamaran and chilling. The man that liked me asked, "What do you do"? Me: "I'm a nurse."
He said, "Tell me about the most powerful memory you have as a nurse." Alright, so, we're on the water getting ready to jump off the boat. Me: "I was a nursing supervisor and went to the ED after a 6-year-old.... (At this point, I had to wave my hand and stop talking)
Him: So what happened?
Me: crying. I can't talk about it
Him: okay. Let's go swimming.
Me: Okay (I didn't tell this to anyone). Boy brought in via ambulance after he had run across the street and was hit by a car. Everyone tried all they could but the boy died. It was excruciating
The hardest part is to not cry on the job.
How did I deal with it at the time? I drove home. Had massive sex with my husband. Cleaned the kitty litter. Walked my dogs in the park. And cherished the fact that I'm alive.

Although I'm a new (middle-aged) RN, I can certainly empathize. Exercise is a good way to deal with many things, or (at the very least) a way to help take your mind off of things, and as we all know, it's good for us in many different ways.
I had a bladder tumor at age 40, and although I'd been exercising off and on for years before that, and was in half-decent shape, my inclination was to ride my mountain bike like a banshee every Sat. or Sun. I felt like the more I exercised, the more I'd make my body stronger and beat the ******* cancer.

Thank you.

I have ran out of tissue's... Racoon eye's for the evening.

I am not a nurse yet, but enjoy reading all the stories from this site, as it will help better prepare me as a nurse someday.

Well-written narrative - I hope writing it was also therapeutic for you. Losing a patient is so, so hard.

Thank you for sharing your experience.. I hope the heavy load you carry for your patient in your heart lightens -

Thank you for sharing this story. I am grateful that you have found a way to write despite the grief you felt.

Thank you for sharing this. I am sorry you have to go through this. I like you deal with my stress or grief by running.