Running off Grief - page 2

It's with sad irony that I power up the treadmill in the gym exactly 24 hours after I started chest compressions on you. You were my first patient loss. Being new to the NICU (though not new to... Read More

  1. by   djh123
    Although I'm a new (middle-aged) RN, I can certainly empathize. Exercise is a good way to deal with many things, or (at the very least) a way to help take your mind off of things, and as we all know, it's good for us in many different ways.
    I had a bladder tumor at age 40, and although I'd been exercising off and on for years before that, and was in half-decent shape, my inclination was to ride my mountain bike like a banshee every Sat. or Sun. I felt like the more I exercised, the more I'd make my body stronger and beat the ******* cancer.
  2. by   violetgirl
    Thank you.

    I have ran out of tissue's... Racoon eye's for the evening.

    I am not a nurse yet, but enjoy reading all the stories from this site, as it will help better prepare me as a nurse someday.
    Last edit by violetgirl on Jan 13, '13 : Reason: Can't see through the tears.
  3. by   AnonRNC
    Well-written narrative - I hope writing it was also therapeutic for you. Losing a patient is so, so hard.
  4. by   CDub72
    Thank you for sharing your experience.. I hope the heavy load you carry for your patient in your heart lightens -
  5. by   amygarside
    Thank you for sharing this story. I am grateful that you have found a way to write despite the grief you felt.
  6. by   Calabria
    I'm humbled by the response that this received. Thank you all so much . I'm still grieving, but it's become much easier to cope since this happened.

    Quote from AnonRNC
    Well-written narrative - I hope writing it was also therapeutic for you. Losing a patient is so, so hard.
    It was... I felt like it was an extension of the exercising, almost a continuation of getting the feelings out of me. What was new to me was sharing it with the world (literally!). I've used journals in the past, but I don't think that I've shared anything so introspective before with such a large group.
  7. by   makayleefusion360
    Thank you for sharing this. I am sorry you have to go through this. I like you deal with my stress or grief by running.
  8. by   katierobin23
    Thank you for sharing this...just a few days ago I lost my first baby in the NICU...he was only on earth for 43 hours, but I was there with him for 31 of them. It's amazing the huge impact such a little person can have..I still see his face a lot too, especially when I'm sleeping. It's something no one can be truly prepared for, and I'll never forget my first little angel boy. RIP baby A.
  9. by   Devon Rex
    Quote from katierobin23
    Thank you for sharing this...just a few days ago I lost my first baby in the NICU...he was only on earth for 43 hours, but I was there with him for 31 of them. It's amazing the huge impact such a little person can have..I still see his face a lot too, especially when I'm sleeping. It's something no one can be truly prepared for, and I'll never forget my first little angel boy. RIP baby A.
    My deepest condolences. That's all I can say, so sorry for our loss.
  10. by   sapphire18
    Quote from katierobin23
    Thank you for sharing this...just a few days ago I lost my first baby in the NICU...he was only on earth for 43 hours, but I was there with him for 31 of them. It's amazing the huge impact such a little person can have..I still see his face a lot too, especially when I'm sleeping. It's something no one can be truly prepared for, and I'll never forget my first little angel boy. RIP baby A.
    I am so, so sorry for your loss, Katie. I can't even imagine. Utilize your support system...thinking of you and your baby<3
  11. by   jadair1
    Thank you for sharing a beautiful story. I can still remember my first patient loss, even after 40 years! How time does fly....
    I still remember the young boy of 7 who was so special to me so many years ago. I am blessed that i have his memory and a special place in my heart reserved just for him.
  12. by   ianursestudent15
    thank you for sharing such a beautiful story and good to hear that you are coping well!!stay strong
  13. by   Calabria
    Quote from katierobin23
    Thank you for sharing this...just a few days ago I lost my first baby in the NICU...he was only on earth for 43 hours, but I was there with him for 31 of them. It's amazing the huge impact such a little person can have..I still see his face a lot too, especially when I'm sleeping. It's something no one can be truly prepared for, and I'll never forget my first little angel boy. RIP baby A.
    I'm just seeing this comment now, but I'm so sorry that this happened, and I hope that you're coping okay.

close