Men's sexualality in Nursing

Nurses Men

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I am not a nurse. I am a female who is, from time to time, a patient. I am going to ask a very indelicate and politically incorrect question, but I am serious and I would like a serious answer.

I am the mother of 2 healthy young males in their 20s. I am the sister of 4 (yes!) healthy not-so-young males. I have known males all my life, and I do not understand how the same males that one night are drunk at a frat party and trying to see, touch, expose, etc. any female genitalia they can, or the same males who salivate over Playboy and Hustler one minute, can the next morning just turn off the sexual interest and look, touch, whatever, all the lady partss, privy partses, breasts, buttocks they want to, and not get turned on. How does this work? Is male sexuality really such a an easily controlled thing, that men can turn it on and off at a moment's notice?

It seems that for the past few millenia, women have been warned that male sexualty is so powerful, that the mere sight of a woman is enough to drive a man to rape her on the spot. I think this is the basis for the strict female dress codes in Muslim countries, if I am not mistaken. In our own society, a flimy T-shirt or short skirt has been used as a rape defense.

But somehow, the same men who can't be trusted with a woman in hot pants can be trusted to spread a woman's legs and do lots of interesting "medical" stuff.

I'm not looking to start fights, but I honestly don't understand how this works. Are male medical personnel specifically trained how to sublimate their sexuality and not get turned on by naked girls and women, or is male sexuality a lot less powerful than we have been led to believe?

Because I don't understand how this can possibly work, I do not and will not have any male medical practitioners. Period.

I look at my two sons, healthy and perpetually horny, and I am appalled that if they were medical students, nurses, etc, they would be given free reign to look at and touch all the naked girls and women they wanted to.

Again, I'm serious. How do you all handle your own sexuality?

Jay Levan

154 Posts

I am not a nurse. I am a female who is, from time to time, a patient. I am going to ask a very indelicate and politically incorrect question, but I am serious and I would like a serious answer.

I am the mother of 2 healthy young males in their 20s. I am the sister of 4 (yes!) healthy not-so-young males. I have known males all my life, and I do not understand how the same males that one night are drunk at a frat party and trying to see, touch, expose, etc. any female genitalia they can, or the same males who salivate over Playboy and Hustler one minute, can the next morning just turn off the sexual interest and look, touch, whatever, all the lady partss, privy partses, breasts, buttocks they want to, and not get turned on. How does this work? Is male sexuality really such a an easily controlled thing, that men can turn it on and off at a moment's notice?

It seems that for the past few millenia, women have been warned that male sexualty is so powerful, that the mere sight of a woman is enough to drive a man to rape her on the spot. I think this is the basis for the strict female dress codes in Muslim countries, if I am not mistaken. In our own society, a flimy T-shirt or short skirt has been used as a rape defense.

But somehow, the same men who can't be trusted with a woman in hot pants can be trusted to spread a woman's legs and do lots of interesting "medical" stuff.

I'm not looking to start fights, but I honestly don't understand how this works. Are male medical personnel specifically trained how to sublimate their sexuality and not get turned on by naked girls and women, or is male sexuality a lot less powerful than we have been led to believe?

Because I don't understand how this can possibly work, I do not and will not have any male medical practitioners. Period.

I look at my two sons, healthy and perpetually horny, and I am appalled that if they were medical students, nurses, etc, they would be given free reign to look at and touch all the naked girls and women they wanted to.

Again, I'm serious. How do you all handle your own sexuality?

The Only Quote that comes to mind is "Female Sexist Pig" Women wear provocative clothing and then get upset if a male leers at them, makes me go Hmmmmm? :coollook: :rotfl:

greensleeves

4 Posts

Thank you for your reply. I guess that sort of illustrates my point. If men - and I'm assuming that includes male nurses and doctors - leer at women dressed in "provocative clothing", how is it they can just turn off the "leer instinct" when presented with a fully naked girl or woman, posed with her legs spread wide open? I'm just not getting it. Are you a nurse? Do you leer at "provocatively dressed" girls and women? Do you feel the same impulse to leer at your naked women patients? If not, why not and how do you manage to turn it off?

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

((((trying desperately not to laugh)))))

I suppose that they handle that problem the same way that women do and have for decades of nursing history.

live4today, RN

5,099 Posts

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
caroladybelle said:
((((trying desperately not to laugh)))))

I suppose that they handle that problem the same way that women do and have for decades of nursing history.

Exactly! ?

The only times I am nervous around my male patients is when they are extremely attractive and well built (all over...excluding no bodily part):chuckle

And when they start flirting with me, it's time to hurry along the assessment and get out of the room with a straight professional face.:chuckle

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

If you only knew how bad most of my patients look (or smell or sound), male or female...

fergus51

6,620 Posts

If you've ever worked as a nurse, you'd understand. It just isn't a sexual situation. Patients aren't potential partners. The only thing I think you might be able to relate it to in your life is if you saw your handsome young son naked. He might be young and handsome, but you wouldn't be turned on by it because he's your son. Context means everything. Same thing goes for men. You might be a total hottie, but I doubt your son would be turned on if he saw you naked. Does that make any sense?

Nurse Ratched, RN

2,149 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics/Oncology/Psych/College Health.

It's called professionalism, pure and simple. It's a job, nothing more.

Tweety, BSN, RN

34,218 Posts

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

I'm disappointed that the men in your life have turned you off to male practicioners. I won't try to convince you otherwise sine you said "I do not and will not have any male medical practitioners. Period.", which means your mind is pretty closed, even though you express you're trying to understand.

Let me just say that to me nursing is not a turn on. When a sick male or female "spreads their legs" as you say there's nothing sexy about it.

Nurses are human being however, and since there are more females in nursing, I've heard more inappropriate comments on the endowments of their male patients, or their looks from females than I've heard from males.

But as was stated above profressionalism prevails. And despite the fact that the men in your life are such that they are, male nurses can and do act profressional and there's nothing to "turn off" as nursing is not a sexual act that "turns on". Not all our patients are Playboy model quality, they are human being in need. I hope I'm making sense.

elkpark

14,633 Posts

((((also trying desperately not to laugh)))))

If you've ever worked as a nurse, you'd understand. It just isn't a sexual situation. Patients aren't potential partners. The only thing I think you might be able to relate it to in your life is if you saw your handsome young son naked. He might be young and handsome, but you wouldn't be turned on by it because he's your son. Context means everything. Same thing goes for men. You might be a total hottie, but I doubt your son would be turned on if he saw you naked. Does that make any sense?

Interesting that it seems to be mostly female nurses responding to this thread ... Where are all the guys? (Or is it just too insulting and offensive a question for y'all to deal with? I can certainly see that ...)

ITA with Ferg (hey there, girlfriend! :) ), as usual. I've spent plenty of time providing direct care to hot, handsome men and I certainly notice that they're hot and handsome -- but that's not what I'm there for. Same for males in healthcare settings, I imagine. Also, there's a whole lot less nakedness and touching than you apparently realize --

I look at my two sons, healthy and perpetually horny, and I am appalled that if they were medical students, nurses, etc, they would be given free reign to look at and touch all the naked girls and women they wanted to.

I can assure you that, if your sons were healthcare students of any kind, they would definitely not be given "free rein" to ogle and fondle patients as much as they liked (male or female! :chuckle ). Students are carefully supervised and provided with extensive education/training about professional behavior and boundaries. Also, we are taught in all healthcare disciplines to do all we can to preserve the patient's privacy and dignity, which means exposing as little of the body as necessary to perform whatever task or procedure is needed. Healthcare professionals, male or female, who inappropriately molest or sexually harass patients are subject to criminal penalties as well as losing their licenses.

I've never had a "bad" experience (as a patient, I mean) with a male physician, and I've worked with many excellent and professional male nurses. While I've been fortunate to not need to be hospitalized in my adult life, I would have no problems with being cared for by a male nurse if I were. You are certainly welcome to refuse to have certain staff care for you (heck, we also occasionally run into white patients who refuse to have African-American nurses ... :rolleyes: ), but I can't agree that there is any validity to your rationale for doing so.

BRANDY LPN

408 Posts

I have some questions for the OP. Why are you asking these questions? What prompted you to ponder such things, as a non-nurse? You stated you know this is not PC and indelicate and that you truely wish to understand but before I offer any explanations I would like to know WHY you want to know, did something happen to you or someone you know that makes you uncomfortable, or is there some other reason you are asking?

dspring, RN

90 Posts

It's called professionalism, pure and simple. It's a job, nothing more.

Thank you. It is called being professional. Maybe her sons might not be able to control themselves, but that doesn't mean the whole male gender is like them. That is like saying just because a female nurse goes out and has a couple drinks and acts "wild" that she will go out and try to sleep with her patients. I can't see that happening.

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