Men's sexualality in Nursing

11:11 · Mar 3, 2005

The only thing I think you might be able to relate it to in your life is if you saw your handsome young son naked. He might be young and handsome, but you wouldn't be turned on by it because he's your son

...but then again maybe she would .based upon everything that Ive read that shes written...

11

Private Peds Nurse, LPN · Mar 3, 2005

i don't mean to sound unkind, but, male nurses have a hard enough time without someone taking a hit on them. i am a female nurse, i have worked with several great male nurses who i would trust my life with.

if you were laying on a table dying needing surgery, would you say "wait, i want a female doctor and nurse????" i have been in nursing for many years and i have worked with both male and female nurses, and it appeared to me that the male nurses try harder for acceptance by all patients. don't get me wrong, because i think that 99.9% of nurses are professional and compentent. would you prefer an incompetent and unprofessional female nurse to a compentent and professional male doctor/nurse?????

and when male doctors do "female exams, they have a female nurse present in the room with them.

get real, all men's minds don't live in the gutter.

i know that there have been some incompentent doctors and nurses, but, one bad apple does not spoil the whole barrell!!!

and when you become a nurse, you have criminal background checks done, on everyone, both male and female.

i am not a nurse. i am a female who is, from time to time, a patient. i am going to ask a very indelicate and politically incorrect question, but i am serious and i would like a serious answer.
i am the mother of 2 healthy young males in their 20s. i am the sister of 4 (yes!) healthy not-so-young males. i have known males all my life, and i do not understand how the same males that one night are drunk at a frat party and trying to see, touch, expose, etc. any female genitalia they can, or the same males who salivate over playboy and hustler one minute, can the next morning just turn off the sexual interest and look, touch, whatever, all the lady partss, privy partses, breasts, buttocks they want to, and not get turned on. how does this work? is male sexuality really such a an easily controlled thing, that men can turn it on and off at a moment's notice?
it seems that for the past few millenia, women have been warned that male sexualty is so powerful, that the mere sight of a woman is enough to drive a man to rape her on the spot. i think this is the basis for the strict female dress codes in muslim countries, if i am not mistaken. in our own society, a flimy t-shirt or short skirt has been used as a rape defense.
but somehow, the same men who can't be trusted with a woman in hot pants can be trusted to spread a woman's legs and do lots of interesting "medical" stuff.
i'm not looking to start fights, but i honestly don't understand how this works. are male medical personnel specifically trained how to sublimate their sexuality and not get turned on by naked girls and women, or is male sexuality a lot less powerful than we have been led to believe?
because i don't understand how this can possibly work, i do not and will not have any male medical practitioners. period.
i look at my two sons, healthy and perpetually horny, and i am appalled that if they were medical students, nurses, etc, they would be given free reign to look at and touch all the naked girls and women they wanted to.
again, i'm serious. how do you all handle your own sexuality?

CHATSDALE · Mar 3, 2005

pardon me for intruding on 'male thread territory' but after reading op i had to go the distance

i wonder how she controled the delivery room where these boys were born...no males at all that would be most unusal...if she chooses no male mds, male nurses, males scrub nurses..etc she would be choosing health care in a really dumb way...the compentence factor is not decided by gender no matter what field you are in

and thank you...i have met a million trolls but never knew what to call thelm

i am going to be smarter than i was when i got up

JVanRN · Mar 3, 2005

I am not a nurse. I am a female who is, from time to time, a patient. I am going to ask a very indelicate and politically incorrect question, but I am serious and I would like a serious answer.
I am the mother of 2 healthy young males in their 20s. I am the sister of 4 (yes!) healthy not-so-young males. I have known males all my life, and I do not understand how the same males that one night are drunk at a frat party and trying to see, touch, expose, etc. any female genitalia they can, or the same males who salivate over Playboy and Hustler one minute, can the next morning just turn off the sexual interest and look, touch, whatever, all the lady partss, privy partses, breasts, buttocks they want to, and not get turned on. How does this work? Is male sexuality really such a an easily controlled thing, that men can turn it on and off at a moment's notice?
It seems that for the past few millenia, women have been warned that male sexualty is so powerful, that the mere sight of a woman is enough to drive a man to rape her on the spot. I think this is the basis for the strict female dress codes in Muslim countries, if I am not mistaken. In our own society, a flimy T-shirt or short skirt has been used as a rape defense.
But somehow, the same men who can't be trusted with a woman in hot pants can be trusted to spread a woman's legs and do lots of interesting "medical" stuff.
I'm not looking to start fights, but I honestly don't understand how this works. Are male medical personnel specifically trained how to sublimate their sexuality and not get turned on by naked girls and women, or is male sexuality a lot less powerful than we have been led to believe?
Because I don't understand how this can possibly work, I do not and will not have any male medical practitioners. Period.
I look at my two sons, healthy and perpetually horny, and I am appalled that if they were medical students, nurses, etc, they would be given free reign to look at and touch all the naked girls and women they wanted to.
Again, I'm serious. How do you all handle your own sexuality?

I guess this could be the case if the person was some sort of psychopath "a la Ted Bundy" who gets off on people in vulnerable situations. But if that's the case it's not limited to the medical profession. Most people are socailly trained to know this is not appropriate behavior. Many males(and females) may think about sex ALOT but geez there not ravenouus animals that are attracted to anything and everything. Most men are perfectly capaple of controlling them selves. And since when are males the only ones limited to being sexually devient (sp?). There are some pretty strange women out there to.

And like someone stated the average Patient is not that attractive when they are sick? Brad Pitt = Hot. Brad Pitt with explosive diarrhea and vomitting ect = not so much.

WHY are you asking this? :uhoh21:

Bobcat64 · Mar 3, 2005

I have been going to a really great physician for about 25 years. She is the type of person who should be cloned and put in every clinic... During my annual physical, there is complete comfort. We are both professionals. This year, however, while she was checking for prostate problems, I told her: "We have to stop meeting like this. People are starting to talk!" She was still chuckling when the appointment was finished. Then she zinged me about my weight, telling me: "You know all you have to do is get out and walk! ... to Los Angeles!!" (We live in Michigan!)

MryRose · Mar 3, 2005

I am hoping I am not intruding on this thread for male nurses.... but this OP really irritated me.

I am not yet a nurse, I'm in my last semester of pre-reqs hoping to get into the nursing program next Spring. One of the main reasons I am pursuing nursing is due to the experience I had as a patient.... with wonderful caring male nurses. The men who cared for me were competent, caring and completely professional. They treated me respectfully and I never ever felt anything but secure in their care.

They explained produres to me, held my hand when I was scared and made sure I was properly cared for at all times. I would never hesitate having a male nurse care for me and I look forward to someday working alongside you guys.

My hope is that all the male nurses reading this will not take to heart anything that the OP said. There are many more "patients" who feel like I do than OP.

Hugs!

MaryRose

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2005

[quote name=Bobcat64"You know all you have to do is get out and walk! ... to Los Angeles!!" (We live in Michigan!)

[/quote]

:rotfl: :rotfl:

rsh3rn · Mar 3, 2005

speechless, furious, and generally offended. sounds like our troll had some form of freudian hang up JMO but for the record there is a similar thread here about males and revealing procedures. I believe the concensus of it was in a revealing procedure we do what makes the pt comfortable wether that means having a female assist or not being present at all if possible. I want to say a lot but can't form a reply, its as if sexism has swung the opposite direction and now men are just uninformed irrational testosterone driven reproduction machines

greensleeves · Mar 3, 2005

Friends:

Thank you all for your comments. It has been, to say the least, most enlightening. This was the first time I had been to this site, and I thought it might be a good place to see what medical personnel really think. As a patient, it does matter to me, very deeply, what the people who are caring for me in such an intimate manner are thinking. They have the power to ease my pain or to make my life an embarrassing hell. I don't think I am alone among patients when I say that it is just a little scary to give over that sort of power to someone.

What surprised me the most was the anger and the ugly name-callling. Is that how you treat your patients, or is only something you snicker about behind their backs? I wish you, and all medical personnel, would listen to patients' fears a little more, and without criticizing them and calling them names for daring to ask a question.

You know, I grew up Catholic - full bore, Catholic schools right through college. And for two thousand years we Catholics knew that priests were holy and God-like and would NEVER act in a sexually inappropriate manner. To even suggest such a thing was an abomination. Priests could be trusted as you would trust Jesus. They were above having any sexual feelings. Just wouldn't happen. Oops.

Are we all now expected to believe that male medical personnel - who have so much power over their patients - are so much holier and God-like than priests, that they must never be questioned? Right.

For those of you who wondered, the men in my life are mostly pretty wonderful, but they are also men, and as a mother of sons and sister to brothers, I guess I've seen unvarnished male sexuality upclose. It can get pretty raw, and I think to ignore that fact of life is kind of foolish. Men enjoy seeing and touching naked women. That is not a lie or an evil thing. My question was, how do male medical personnel simply turn off this powerful urge? Or is male sexuality really not a very powerful force after all?

For those who want to equate the two genders in this issue, I think there are certainly female sexual predators out there, but again, if we look at the facts, they are almost a negligible number next to the number of male sexual predators. That's just the facts, like them or not. After all, I've never heard of a "train" at a sorority party. And any woman out there (and probably most of the men) will tell you they'd much rather get in an empty elevator late at night with another woman than with a man. Why is that?

But yes, in any procedures that involve genital nudity or manipulation in male patients, I certainly do think they ought to be asked if they would be more comfortable with a male nurse. In fact, there are men I know who were asked this question, and they were grateful to be respected in this way.

Thank you again for your responses. I'm sorry to say that there didn't seem to be much reassurance for me here. I am not a troll, I don't froth at the mouth. I'm a patient with, seemingly, a question that dare not be asked. Sorry.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2005

thank you all for your comments. it has been, to say the least, most enlightening. this was the first time i had been to this site, and i thought it might be a good place to see what medical personnel really think. as a patient, it does matter to me, very deeply, what the people who are caring for me in such an intimate manner are thinking. they have the power to ease my pain or to make my life an embarrassing hell. i don't think i am alone among patients when i say that it is just a little scary to give over that sort of power to someone.

when we are with females in an intimate way it's about caring for and taking care of those personal needs. nothing more. it isn't about power or anything else. no need to be afraid.

what surprised me the most was the anger and the ugly name-callling. is that how you treat your patients, or is only something you snicker about behind their backs? i wish you, and all medical personnel, would listen to patients' fears a little more, and without criticizing them and calling them names for daring to ask a question.

some of us gave you the benefit of the doubt and answered your questions. that you can't see that implying male medical personnel (which you stated you'd never let take care of you) are in heat is a bit insulting as well, shows your mind to be a bit closed on the subject. again. trust and relax. and no we don't disrespect our patients. if they express a desire for a female nurse i always respectfully grant them their wish if possible.

you know, i grew up catholic - full bore, catholic schools right through college. and for two thousand years we catholics knew that priests were holy and god-like and would never act in a sexually inappropriate manner. to even suggest such a thing was an abomination. priests could be trusted as you would trust jesus. they were above having any sexual feelings. just wouldn't happen. oops.

are we all now expected to believe that male medical personnel - who have so much power over their patients - are so much holier and god-like than priests, that they must never be questioned? right.

yes, men are going to abuse patients. that's why we have to go through background checks here in florida. but to stereotype male nurses because of the crimes of a few allows you to miss out on the opportunity of some good medical personnel. btw there are plenty female nurses in drug and alcohol rehab. best not let females take care of you either. many females have been accussed of abuse. a local female slapped a patient recently.

for those of you who wondered, the men in my life are mostly pretty wonderful, but they are also men, and as a mother of sons and sister to brothers, i guess i've seen unvarnished male sexuality upclose. it can get pretty raw, and i think to ignore that fact of life is kind of foolish. men enjoy seeing and touching naked women. that is not a lie or an evil thing. my question was, how do male medical personnel simply turn off this powerful urge? or is male sexuality really not a very powerful force after all?

for those who want to equate the two genders in this issue, i think there are certainly female sexual predators out there, but again, if we look at the facts, they are almost a negligible number next to the number of male sexual predators. that's just the facts, like them or not. after all, i've never heard of a "train" at a sorority party. and any woman out there (and probably most of the men) will tell you they'd much rather get in an empty elevator late at night with another woman than with a man. why is that?

but yes, in any procedures that involve genital nudity or manipulation in male patients, i certainly do think they ought to be asked if they would be more comfortable with a male nurse. in fact, there are men i know who were asked this question, and they were grateful to be respected in this way.

thank you again for your responses. i'm sorry to say that there didn't seem to be much reassurance for me here. i am not a troll, i don't froth at the mouth. i'm a patient with, seemingly, a question that dare not be asked. sorry.

you may not be a troll, but you're a little off base. let's face it. we are all, males and females sexual beings. females nureses have sex with men all the time. they have sex then go to work. males have sex lives, look at playboy magazines, and talk dirty with the guys in the bar, then go to work. and yes, as profressionals we can and do turn it off. i find it very strange that you even have to ask. which lead me to believe about the quality of men in your life. (that your aware of your son's raw sexuality is a bit odd to me as well). i apologize for that.

sorry you can't be reassured when over and over we told you nursing is not a sexual activity to us.

Owen · Mar 3, 2005

OK, I'm pretty stunned at this thread, but here it goes. Firstly I respect your comments, you have a right to think of us anyway you want, but I hope you understand the quick angry response from a workforce tired of fighting against long hours, poor pay, bad working environment and bigoted/prejudiced views.

With the main question, at work I am not male/female, not catholic/muslim/baptist etc, not pro life/gun supporter etc, not liberal/conservative. I AM A NURSE!!!!!!!!

If you are pulled out of a car wreck not only are all the personell involved of both sexes, they couldn't give a damn about if you are any of the above too, you are a person who needs care/help and we will provide it to you to the very best of our abilities.

As to my dangerous and all powerful sexual urges, think about your sons and husband, so do they pull over and grab the nearest female worker/passer by during their workday because they cannot suppress the sexual desires? If they can't i guess you'll get a knock at the door very soon! For me personally as I said before, when I pull on my uniform, I am Nurse. Yes, i will think that various people/colleagues/patients I meet during my day will/will not be attaractive but will NEVER be 'pulling various people's legs apart to do interesting medical things'. The cleaner wouldn't like it !!! :rolleyes:

rsh3rn · Mar 3, 2005

Don't try to make yourself out as a victim here Greensleeves you just questioned the motivation of a person who has chosen a particular calling, to expect anything less then an emotional reply is rediculious. Your question was not one that should not be asked, but is nearly impossible to comprehend by 99.9% of nurses male or female, and unfortunately a question that you really seem to place little weight on its answer