Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation...

Nurses LPN/LVN

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Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation to clients when asked? Some might say go ahead...your facility can't fire you for it...it's against the law? But actually, I live in Nebraska and it is legal to fire someone based on sexual orientation. And even if it was illegal it would be easy for an employer to fire an employee based on sexual orientation and then try to pass it off as if it were for some other reason.

For example, what if a young patient...10 y.o. asked me if I have a date on valentines day...and I do...with a guy...should I tell the kid...even if ma and pa are sitting 7 feet away listening...and what about when I work with mentally unstable patients...they say you are supposed to be honest with them always...because they don't deal with dishonesty well...but it seems like if I did tell them the truth it might set them off...or be counterproductive some how...anyway someone plz share with me some insight...maybe with some anecdotes and some tips

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Keep your personal life to a minimum when talking with patients. If possible, try to avoid mentioning that you are gay at all costs because many people still have 'moral,' 'religious,' and 'social' objections to same-sex relationships.

When you are at work, it is no longer about you. It is all about your patients. The nurse/patient relationship's primary focus is the patient, so if a patient is asking too many personal questions, find a tactful way to redirect the conversation back on them.

Specializes in Trauma Surgical ICU.

Your sexual orientation is not important. When asked just state that is an inappropriate question and continue with your work. Even in psych, personal questions are not advised. Yes, you should be honest with THEIR tx, meds, etc but that does not mean you or I are an open book about "our" personal life.

As far as the 10y old asking if you have a date, if you want to answer, the answer would be yes or no.. Nough said :)

Specializes in critical care.

I have no advice....I just want to say that I hate, hate, hate that this should even be an issue in the first place. We need to evolve past this ugly place in history to a place where people aren't judged for who they love, and where perfect strangers remember it is very rude indeed to ask others about their sex life.

Anyway, I'm sorry :( I truly am.

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

Even if a pt flat out asks your orientation, don't tell them. As mentioned, politely move to a different subject. It is not the pt's business if you are gay, straight, married, single, or if you do/do not have a date on Valentine's Day. Some people might have a problem with your being gay (their problem, not yours...not your fault if they want to go around bearing such negative feelings), and, as you mentioned, why jeopardize you employment over the issue?

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

By the way...my opinion is the same for RNs too, not just LPNs.

In a word, "No". There is usually a way to redirect the conversation that keeps you from divulging personal information and turns the subject back to the patient or something neutral. Took me a while to come up with good stock answers to personal questions patients ask me. Top 2 questions I get "Are you married" and "Do you have kids?"

Specializes in Med-Surg/urology.

I don't think work is the place to discuss personal relationships with co-workers or patients, whether straight or gay. But that's me *shrug*

Specializes in Emergency.

You have to look at "what is the value" of revealing your sexual orientation or any other personal information in these situations. Is there any possible way that this will some how improve the patient experience or the care?

People do like to feel like they know their Nurses. You will be asked questions...THe quiestions are pretty easy, but I usually get a little flipped out when people Say :Happy Mothers day...how awful for you to be away from your children today...

I don't have any kids.

But I've found its easier to simply say, "thank you" rather than let them know I have no kiddos. it isn't their business, and they were trying to relate and be kind...

I live in Massachusetts, and gay marriage is legal here, so most people could care less whether one is gay/straight/ bi/ transgener or into little green martians. So it is so hard for me to imagine that this is even an issue, at all, in any state--and I am quite frankly a bit horrified that you have to even think about this . Ignorant and wrong-- And I believe federally protected, not simply a matter of state protection or lack thereof.

If a 10 year old asked if I had a date for Valentines I would say "NAHHHHH I am afraid I will get cooties"....or "yes, I do, should I bring cootie spay????" As most 10 year olds think anything that has to do with kissing, touching or anything else with someone else (anyone else) is "GROSSSS" no matter orientation. (especially in a state that thinks all of their population is straight--these are not sexually advanced kids).

If part of who you are happens to like the same sex, then I would say you could either choose not to discuss your personal life at all at work, (and to "nosey" co-workers who drill you with personal questions, I would be quite frank in that "I don't like talking about what happens outside of work, as it is not applicable here, but lovely of you to ask!!") and leave it at that. Make sure that you have a rich and full life of friends who you do not work with. BUT, if you are politically and/or socially involved with any GLBT groups, if you are certified in any sort of GLBT courses of study, I would feel out this job for awhile, as the GLBT culture is vastly underserved, and you could be involved in a place and a level that few others can do. But this may not be applicable to your current job.

So, if I say yes...and the kid says whats her name...and my dates name is Fred...then what would I say?

So, if I say yes...and the kid says whats her name...and my dates name is Fred...then what would I say?

The point of basically everyone's post was to not even get to this point and spare yourself a lot of problems.

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