Your Start in Life Doesnít Matter as Much as Where You End Up - page 2

by TheCommuter Asst. Admin

5,900 Views | 26 Comments

My name is _____, and I am a nurse who climbed a series of uphill battles to get to the place where I am today. Iím a firm believer that your origins in life do not carry nearly as much importance as your present or future.... Read More


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    Great story!!! I'm a DV survivor who went through a near-death experience-it will be five years January 29. My sharing is NOT to minimize anyone's struggles, but to explain having resilience can also be a uphill battle. I think you cannot wallow in victim mentality, because you can get swallowed up by victim mentality! That's not to say we who are "stronger" pull up "our bootstraps," sometimes is about letting your vulnerability show in order to get the resources that you need to be the best you. My setback made me more determined to return to school and get my BSN. I didn't believe that I would even get in. I was upfront about my setback, they saw the passion I had in nursing, I did what I needed to do for my grades and on my placement test, and was accepted. I graduated in May, took boards in June, start my first job in a PICU in February.

    I feel that my life setback has came full circle, and my experience has changed my life profoundly as a nurse, in so many volumes. I am more in tune how a lot if people do struggle on a personal level, and sometimes it shows, especially during interpersonal actions. Everyone has the ability to find the best way to be their best selves-we DESERVE it! :0D
    Marshall1 likes this.
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    Quote from jadelpn
    Wow! This is an amazing read. Thank you so much for your story.
    I haven't always made the best choices, but my kids are such gifts.
    The very best in your endevours!!

    (and not to quote Oprah, but I will....."When you know better, you do better")
    I love that QUOTE!!! 😄
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    I also think it's important to realize that not everybody has the intelligence and/or emotional stability to rise above their circumstances. There's a difference between a being poor with an alcoholic mother and being severely abused, even tortured, for many years. Some people are "excuse makers" and "non-responsibility takers", but some people truly are victims and realistically have very little hope of becoming productive members of society.
    SmoothJams likes this.
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    Quote from Orange Tree
    I also think it's important to realize that not everybody has the intelligence and/or emotional stability to rise above their circumstances. There's a difference between a being poor with an alcoholic mother and being severely abused, even tortured, for many years. Some people are "excuse makers" and "non-responsibility takers", but some people truly are victims and realistically have very little hope of becoming productive members of society.
    OrangeTree, why do you think that people "truly are victims"??? I just am trying to clarify...being a "former victim"-I guess-I just want to understand your thinking. There were a lot of people who refused to help me because of the assumption that I had very little hope of contributing to society, and because of that I "deserved" to stay on welfare or Social Security, or that I could never practice being a nurse again because of my trauma, etc., etc. Not to sound as if I'm harping on you, because navigating from setbacks is a trauma in itself, but if people believe that people deserve the access of every opportunity possible and had the choice available consistently, I think eventually, people would be able to position themselves in a better position. There are people who people assume are "victims", yet, because of dignity continue to work, go to school, etc, even though what they do "may not contribute to society", but gives them a reason to live and respect themselves, despite their interpersonal challenges.
    MBARNBSN likes this.
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    Thank you for this. Too many people hide behind their pasts and play the victim role.
  6. 1
    Quote from LadyFree28
    OrangeTree, why do you think that people "truly are victims"??? I just am trying to clarify...being a "former victim"-I guess-I just want to understand your thinking. There were a lot of people who refused to help me because of the assumption that I had very little hope of contributing to society, and because of that I "deserved" to stay on welfare or Social Security, or that I could never practice being a nurse again because of my trauma, etc., etc. Not to sound as if I'm harping on you, because navigating from setbacks is a trauma in itself, but if people believe that people deserve the access of every opportunity possible and had the choice available consistently, I think eventually, people would be able to position themselves in a better position. There are people who people assume are "victims", yet, because of dignity continue to work, go to school, etc, even though what they do "may not contribute to society", but gives them a reason to live and respect themselves, despite their interpersonal challenges.
    No one "deserves" to have a horrible life. I'm not against helping people, either. I just think we should understand that people have different levels of insight and capability. There may be people who tried just as hard as you did, but got only half as far...or maybe they got as far as you did, but then knocked back down to where they started through no fault of their own. It's not always a person's mentality that keeps them down, in other words.
    MBARNBSN likes this.
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    Great piece of writing!
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    Quote from Orange Tree

    No one "deserves" to have a horrible life. I'm not against helping people, either. I just think we should understand that people have different levels of insight and capability. There may be people who tried just as hard as you did, but got only half as far...or maybe they got as far as you did, but then knocked back down to where they started through no fault of their own. It's not always a person's mentality that keeps them down, in other words.
    I understand your insight.


    Even if they got half as far, went through the process and went back where they started that may still be successful. ..moving forward, attempting to move forward, the effort, regardless, to me, is positive in itself. People truly have a choice, even amongst their circumstances, even against all odds, to be an agent of change. I wouldn't label them a victim if their chances are slim...because of circumstance. That's when people who survive and thrive come in, especially for the ones who do want an opportunity, a change. Life truly gives you a chance tho show you how you're built, and I've seen people who people may think don't have the intestinal fortitude turn at least something into nothing.

    My point is when society works more interdependently for the common good, there is an opportunity for success. Even for those who do stay "in their circumstances" (for example, an illiterate parent works hard, puts their child through college, child becomes successful, despite NEVER learning how to read and taking menial jobs) helps someone else out in order for them to be successful, I STILL don't call them "victims"...I guess my thing is that we really should call people "victims" of circumstance, when there are many factors for opportunities for victory, regardless of a starting point.
  9. 0
    Quote from Orange Tree
    I also think it's important to realize that not everybody has the intelligence and/or emotional stability to rise above their circumstances. There's a difference between a being poor with an alcoholic mother and being severely abused, even tortured, for many years. Some people are "excuse makers" and "non-responsibility takers", but some people truly are victims and realistically have very little hope of becoming productive members of society.

    I don't agree with that.
    I was molested from the time I could remember till about 13 or so.
    I'm not saying I didn't have tough years, or sometimes don't struggle with this, but I became a better person to spite my molester.
  10. 3
    Quote from Kimynurse

    I don't agree with that.
    I was molested from the time I could remember till about 13 or so.
    I'm not saying I didn't have tough years, or sometimes don't struggle with this, but I became a better person to spite my molester.
    That's awesome that you've been able to grow from such a terrible situation! Many props to you.
    I don't think though, that success negates OrangeTree's point. There are people with the support, emotional fortitude, and intelligence to overcome anything life throws their way, and clearly you fit into that mold. But there are others who don't and it isn't my place to sit in my ivory tower and judge others for how they've handled their lives. No two situations are identical, as are no two people. Some people just cannot pick up the pieces - they don't know how.
    SmoothJams, KCMedic, and Orange Tree like this.


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