Final grade disappointment... why can't I let it go??? - page 4

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  1. by   aruray
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    What you might think of "this silly" might be a disappointing situation to someone else. No need to minimize how someone else is feeling.
    So let her sweat an A to an A minus grade, as opposed to helping her put things into perspective? Not minimizing nobody's feelings...
  2. by   Tweety
    Quote from aruray
    So let her sweat an A to an A minus grade, as opposed to helping her put things into perspective? Not minimizing nobody's feelings...

    You said ".......there is nothing to empathize there. why she is disappointed is beyond me."

    I feel that you are minimizing her feelings. You dismissed the fact she was disappointed because it's beyond you. Just because if you were in that situation you would feel entirely different doesn't mean someone else is going to. If you'd like to help her put things in perspective, this isn't an effective way of doing it.

    You're feelings are valid as well. It is a bit hard to feel sorry for someone who has made an A-. But trying to invalidate her feelings isn't "therapeautic communication"
  3. by   cingulargirl21
    It's tough for us to fall short of our goals especially when we work super hard. I feel your pain.........an A- when you wanted an A is a blow........this semester I got more B's than A's and I was upset.....I had worked so hard! Late night study sessions, giving up my fave tv shows to study.......you know what I mean! But I realized that no matter what I want or what I plan which was to get all A's by the way, it wont always happen.........nursing is the same way, duirng clinical, I try to plan as much as possible for a low stress day but my patients surprise me or I get worn out.......so I learned that I need to allow room in my plan for flexability.......I treat my grades the same way. We strive for perfection and when we dont reach it we feel bad...........and it sucks. But we did the best we could.........and that feels great. I now know how I should study to make better grades.........so hopefully I will make more A's next semester but also......we lost some people this semester and I felt a teeny bit guilty complaining over the B's I got.....at least I MADE it. I am ableto moveon to the next level.......the next semester, I passed.........that is wonderful, nursing school is tough...........its a challenege and when we succeed, we did good. So...everyone.......just do the best you can......and relax a little! We arent perfect.........that sucks but we arent! We have to shoot for the moon and hopefully get a star......I am sorry you didnt reach your goal of an A...........but you came really close.......you did good.........maybe not an A but you did really good....to me. But now you know you have to work a little harder next semester and you can do it girl! :hatparty: I think that the most important thing is learning the material and being able to apply it in life and on exams.........passing is gold. We all want to pass! And you did that! So merry christmas to you! You go girl!
  4. by   z's playa
    Guys...the original poster of this thread deleted her original post...left the thread...so why are we still giving her advice? She obviously doesn't want it.
    Last edit by z's playa on Dec 23, '04
  5. by   FutureNurse2005
    I just want to add support for the OP. In one of my classes I had a 94% the entire semester. I ended up bombing my final. Dropped me down to a grade between 80-85%. Now that is disappointing! My entire family is telling me that an A- is still excellent, but I cant shake it either. I worked my butt off and was expecting to finish with an A+.
    All I can offer is a big hug and the encouragement to work just a tad harder next semester.
    Good luck!
  6. by   mariedoreen
    Quote from FutureNurse2005
    I just want to add support for the OP. In one of my classes I had a 94% the entire semester. I ended up bombing my final. Dropped me down to a grade between 80-85%. Now that is disappointing! My entire family is telling me that an A- is still excellent, but I cant shake it either. I worked my butt off and was expecting to finish with an A+.
    All I can offer is a big hug and the encouragement to work just a tad harder next semester.
    Good luck!
    ? A grade between 80 and 85% is an A- at your school? That's a C or low B at mine.
  7. by   aruray
    Why do ppl keep on insisting that I was minimizing her feelings. Thats how I felt about how she said she didnt like her grade. I stated my opinion straight to the point, plain and simple. How is that minimizing? I was just trying to be honest. There is a right time to be empathetic and a right time to be honest. How terrible is it to have an A-, in nursing school? ...seriously! I dont even know of anybody who had an A in RN school, do u? So you have to understand how a post like her's can come off as a lil silly, a lil childish and even be a lil arrogant.
    Last edit by aruray on Dec 23, '04
  8. by   lisamc1RN
    Wow. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume that you don't understand the term "minimize", then.

    From Webster's Dictionary:

    Main Entry: min-i-mize
    Pronunciation: 'mi-n&-"mIz
    Function: transitive verb
    Inflected Form(s): -mized; -miz-ing
    Date: 1802
    1 : to reduce or keep to a minimum
    2 : to underestimate intentionally : PLAY DOWN, SOFT-PEDAL <minimizing losses in our own forces while maximizing those of the enemy>

    In essence, you underestimated her disappointment. You reduced it so that it wasn't important. You made it small.

    The reason people object to that is because as nurses we are supposed to show empathy and compassion for people. Empathy means putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Compassion means:: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. It doesn't mean that you make the other person feel silly or small for having her feelings. It doesn't matter how you would feel about getting an A-. It matters that she is disappointed and came to the board and her feelings were minimized. She was called silly. If that isn't making someone feel small, I'm not sure I know what is.

    With that said, I highly suggest we let the matter drop. We may never ever understand each other or come to an agreement , but we can leave it at that, I think. We don't always have to understand or agree.

    Peace.
    Last edit by lisamc1RN on Dec 23, '04
  9. by   lisamc1RN
    My apologies for the angry face and any typos I have. I cannot edit my posts for some reason. I have been having issues with posting all day long. The angry face is supposed to be a frown. The tone of my message is by no means angry at all.


    -------------------------------------------
    Never mind. I've got it fixed and was able to change the angry guy to a frowny guy.
    Last edit by lisamc1RN on Dec 23, '04
  10. by   Truly_Blessed
    Considering how hard nursing school is, I would say an A- is an outstanding grade! But when you miss your goal buy a few tenths of a point...man that's rough. Can't say I'm an A student, but I got booted out of nursing school for less than half a point. Not the same exact situation but I understand what the OP was saying. I know the OP has jumped ship on this one...but wanted to add my 2 cents.
  11. by   aruray
    Geez, did we have to go down the dictionary route? This is hilarious! But I would have to commend the effort of actually looking that up and typing, all for the glory of this forum!

    By most student nursing population concern standards, her issues are quite small (IE, not a lot of ppl can relate to her, most of us would only aim to pass) I think that its great she has such high standards for herself. I believe that we all subject ourselves to the same standards even though most of us would be flipping all over the room with just a passing mark. But to make it such a big deal in the way she had stated it in her post, even calling it a "vent" later on, was I think a lil over the top. Im sorry that you think I was playing down her feelings, it wasnt my intention. I said the things that I did because I didnt think she realizes what she already has. I dont know why you had to lecture me on empathy and compassion. I do recognize when one is due of compassion and I would open my mouth and be honest when I think something needs to be straightened out. Unfortunately, this one needed some tough love.

    And please stop bragging about your A's here. It doesnt make anybody feel good but yourself. No self glorifcation here pls. I know, its a whole other forum..
    Last edit by aruray on Dec 23, '04
  12. by   DDRN4me
    Michelle, I certainly understand..i have to struggle to keep a good average and cum, and it IS IMPORTANT TO ME!!! my dh and dds dont always get it, but i work sooo hard, it is disappointing when i feel like i fail myself. however, i did learn after i graduated from the ADN program, no one else puts so much emphasis on it! enjoy your break, and move on to next semester! good luck!



    Quote from MichelleinMA
    No, Hypnotic Nurse, I do not need a counselor. I just found out my grade this morning and after busting my butt for 16 weeks with an A average, I was/ am very disappointed with myself for getting a 90 on my final and bring down my GPA with an A-.

    I'm sorry I posted this message. I thought I could come here for support, I did not expect to get some of the replies I did...

    Those of you who strive for the best in yourself, understand what I mean; whether your average is an A, B or C. I know I should have done better.

    Yes, of course, there are more inportant things in life other than my final grade, but felt I could vent here to my fellow peers...
  13. by   RainDreamer
    Quote from aruray
    And why is it that ppl brag their grades here? Worse, complain about a good grade! Isnt it enough they announced it all over their school and they have to do it here as well?
    Who said anyone here bragged around school and then came here bragging? Why assume that about anyone?

    Quote from aruray
    I dont see the purpose for it? How can they have the heart to announce their A's(or complain) when so many ppl in here are dying just to pass their classes? Dont mean to sound like a ****** to you Michelle, but come on?!
    And that's exactly what you do sound like.

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