"I Haven't Made Any Friends Yet!" - page 2

Countless first-semester and first-quarter nursing students worriedly exclaim, "I haven't made any friends in nursing school!" Over the years I've made a few curious observations about the nursing... Read More

  1. 3
    Quote from Jean Marie46514
    I'm not sure i even completely follow the notion, if i am understanding this article correctly, that having a sense of self reduces one's need to have friends, or their tolerance for lonliness. I'm not sure i'd agree.
    I'm not necessarily implying that having a solid sense of self or being 'older' reduces a person's need to have friends. I'm also not implying that all young adults (18 to 25 age range) have unformed identities, because many have a strong sense of self.

    However, countless young adults do have identities that never quite took shape. I'm saying that the adult whose identity has not yet developed will still place the highest emphasis on one's peer group and circle of friends, just like many teens do.

    Most teens are very into their peer groups in their search for their identities. The handful of young adults who have identities that have not fully formed are also deeply into their peer groups as they search for their identities.

    I did not delve into the topic of personality types, but I feel that extroverted people of all ages have a greater need for friends than introverts from all age groups.
    metal_m0nk, lillymom, and chorkle like this.

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  2. 0
    I'm considered a nontraditional student, though I'm only in my late 20's. I have a boyfriend, but no kids. Friends weren't at the forefront of my mind during nursing school, and really aren't at the forefront now that I am doing pre-reqs for my RN program. During nursing school, I preferred to study alone. I had my own system and my own way of doing things, and when I tried to study with someone or others in a group, my grades would reflect it. I retained more by doing my own thing. I excelled in my classes, and did so without the help of study partners or study groups.

    Now that I am at a large school doing prereqs for my RN program, it's a little different because it's pre-reqs and they just aren't as hard as actual nursing classes (for me, anyways). I have gotten to know several classmates across several of my classes, and have had times where we have gotten together and studied, but in the end, I still prefer studying on my own rather than with someone. I retain more, and I just get a better understanding of the material when I can study on my own time, at my own pace, and in my own way.

    On top of this, I'm not in school to make friends. I have friends and a whole different life outside of school, and I try to keep them as seperate as possible, because my friends and my life are my getaway from the stressors of school life when I need a break. I'd rather not combine the two. So really, whether I make friends or not in school is at the bottom of my list of concerns. I have a few friends that have graduated nursing school, and they have kept in touch with very few, if any, people from their school. My concern during school has been, and will continue to be, my education. I'm there for one reason and with one goal: to graduate and make a future for myself.
  3. 1
    I have to say I both agree and disagree. One does not per say "Need" friends to get through nursing school successfully, but if one can find that one or two people, it can be very helpful. Let's face it- Family and non-nursing school friends don't get what nursing school really entails, but a friend who is experiencing the same will. I am not saying it's the type of friendship where you go shopping together or get pedicures together, rather it's those people one could call on when the going gets tough.
    I do agree that making friends should be low on the list of priorities for a nursing student, however, I do believe that one should be open to forming friendships. I have made friends in my first semester and I find that invaluable.
    somenurse likes this.
  4. 1
    Quote from Jean Marie46514
    You make a good point, people raising children often do have different lifestyles than those who are not yet parents. My daughter is not yet a parent, but, in the area we live in now, most everyone her age has babies,
    and her complaint is reverse of yours, she wants pals who can go out and run around, go here or there,
    but, most of her pals are now raising babies, and want to talk about "yellow vegetables at what age?" etc, and she zones out.

    Maybe you can find other parents in your class to become friends with? It can be bonding thing in and of itself at times, for some people.
    There are very few parents that I have met in my classes (which is really unfortunate!). The average age of my class is about 21. It's a private school with mostly younger females. I am friends with a girl who has a child, but she has a very different lifestyle than I do. The other girls I've met aren't moms yet, let alone married or have boyfriends. I'm still hoping that this semester it changes, because I'd love to hang out with another nursing student that is a parent! (: I'm crossing my fingers. (2 semesters down, 5 more to go!)
    somenurse likes this.
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    I'm a nontraditional student and I am not an extrovert. Still, I realize that to have a friend you have to be a friend. I also realized early into this program that although academically I do fairly well, its a stressful program. I need moral support from people who are experiencing the same issues as myself.

    There are people who need help in areas in which some of you may be strong. EVERYONE needs to practice skills. Just offer, and be there for others. Be supportive. The rest will take care of itself. I try to gravitate towards positive people who I feel I can trust and I'm there for them and they are there for me. Nursing school is challenging. It helps to be there for each other.
    somenurse likes this.
  6. 2
    Quote from truckinusa
    My question is how does an older adult find a study partner especially when the majority of students are in the 25 and under range?
    You can always openly announce your desire for a study buddy.

    "I need a partner to study with at least once a week. Would anyone like to be my study partner?" What's the worst that could possibly happen by using this direct approach?
    somenurse and Puddin2day like this.
  7. 1
    Quote from truckinusa
    My question is how does an older adult find a study partner especially when the majority of students are in the 25 and under range?
    Just ask them, and remember, age has nothing to do with who you study with. I'm a girl in my 20's, and one of the people I have studied with this semester was a man in his 50's who is married with children and grandchildren. Age doesn't matter, you're taking the same class(es) together. When we got together to study, age had nothing to do with it, we were there to study the material and prepare for exams.

    On that note, I'm in my late 20's, and one of the girls I got together to study with was only 17, who was an early graduate of her highschool, and literally fresh out of highschool. Age never played a role.

    And as far as finding someone to study with, it's as simple as, "hey, want to get together to study?"
    somenurse likes this.
  8. 1
    Quote from Jean Marie46514
    Many great points, but, i am not entirely convinced that having a "great sense of self identity" diminishes one's urge to connect with other humans, ...especially if the person really does love other humans, or love connecting with other humans....
    For some people,
    nursing school is stressful, and many humans, in times of stress, tend to want to find support and validation and comraderie....as well as the urge to have someone to confide to, "Could you believe what happened in clinicals today!" or whatever............
    no matter how old they are....
    RE: the older students, if one is married, raising families, and joining in with their siblings in caring for elderly parents, etc, that student's energy and time is probably being used up pretty much!! That student might also have some of their urge to share the sometimes overwhelming experience of being a nursing student, or need for support, or caring ear,
    I am a mother to 3. I am highly confident. I also love making friends at school. I reach out to others. I've passed notes around that say "Hi, I'm Vintagemother and I'm going to hold focused study groups either after class or at another convenient time. Here's my cell number and email address. If you are interested in attending, please write your name and number on the paper below." This usually results in the development of a close study group and makes me a few new friends each semester.

    I also just reach out to other moms like me. Some single, some married, some with kids my age, lol!

    I love the science of nursing but I also love the comraderie.
    somenurse likes this.
  9. 0
    Quote from TheCommuter

    I did not delve into the topic of personality types, but I feel that extroverted people of all ages have a greater need for friends than introverts from all age groups.
    Very interesting point, Commuter. I know that i am an extrovert, but didn't realize that this may affect my need to be social. Furthermore, I work well alone. As in all by myself independently self led. I don't function well in a large group in which I am still expected to function independently. Perhaps I'm weird for this.

    Good food for thought.
  10. 2
    Another eloquent article from The Commuter!

    All this talk about friending, and its importance--ach!

    As a not especially sociable/socialized/socializing (all these senses) person, I learned a very long time ago to be self-sufficient in many ways. Maybe not as fulfilled, in the same way, or in the same sense, as the more socially-accomplished of you. Fulfilled, for me, is different; some of you might not understand.

    And, therefore, I've no apprehensions about nursing school. It will be, what it will be. I'll deal with it (=, I'll adjust, as needed). A need for friends, "friending," and such further fulminations, is not a factor in my foreseeing.

    Regards, all.
    anotherone and TheCommuter like this.

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