When Do I Tell My Boss . . . . ?

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

no, it's not good news as in "in your second trimester". it's bad news. or, more accurately, potentially bad news. i've been off work with a horrible case of the flu, but now have a new heart murmur and some "suspicious nodules" that need to be biopsied. so, i'm scheduled for biopsies and tests on my days off, and i'm still spewing green snot and coughing up if not a lung, at least a lobule or two every now and again. i've used up as much sick time as i can without going into fmla, and i'm afraid to do that now because i might need it more later, so i'll drag myself to work this weekend.

i guess i'm asking for two things. first, some virtual hugs from my friends here on allnurses -- assuming of course that my tendency toward blunt honesty doesn't mean i have no friends.

and second, what do i tell my boss and when? do i just tell her "i've had a bad case of the flu" and leave it at that unless or until either the cardiac work-up or the biopsies yield a real, fmla-inducing diagnosis? or do i prepare her for the idea that i'm possibly really sick and not only won't be able to do all the extras i'm currently doing for her, but won't be able to come to work at all?

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Are the two of you friendly/cordial, beyond necessary interaction? If so, then I might let on that you "have some follow up appointments/further testing that will be important to see how things are going to go from here" or some wording like that. I'm not much of a "sharer" by nature.

Wishing you well, Ruby Vee.

[mc3, ASN, RN]

As Altra said, it depends on your relationship with your boss. If I felt comfortable enough I would level with her and tell her what's going on. You don't have enought information yet to state definitively what time you might need. If I didn't feel comfortable, I'd tell them I've had the flu for a while and I need to go for follow up tests. Leave it at that.

I'm sending you lots of (((((( )))))))) :kiss. I've been reading your posts for as long as I've been on AN. I haven't always agreed, but I have the utmost respect for you as a nurse, and a person.

Best wishes, sweetie, will keep you in my prayers, :)

mc3

P.S. Did you know - you were on a "nurse" desk calendar that I had one time? It was something you wrote that was quoted, and it credited your name. I hope you got residuals on it!!!

mc3

[OCNRN63, RN]

I think a lot depends on what your relationship is with your manager. Personally, I would wait until I knew for sure what I was dealing with. It's entirely possible your biopsies will be benign. There's a lot up in the air right now. It might be best to wait until you have more solid information.

I'm so sorry you're trying to work while feeling sick and having so much on your mind. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I do know what it feels like, and it feels lousy. You know you can always come here for support.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

holy crap! I don't have a useful answer to your question, not yet anyway, I think I have to think about it a bit. But as for the rest, ((((((RUBY)))))) you can have as many virtual hugs as I can send your way. Take care of yourself and get WELL (and that's my bluntness for this post).

[bagladyrn, RN]

First of all, hugs and hope that everything turns out negative.

I agree with most of the above. I think that the most I would say would be something along the lines of "My doc wants to run some tests to find out why this crud keeps hanging on." Lets her know you have concerns (especially if you are not acting up to your usual) but is deliberately vague.

[Fngrpntsnotasin]

((((Ruby))))

[Nurse Leigh]

i don't have much in the advice department, but i do want to let you know i am for the best outcome for you. i tend to be more of a lurker but enjoy reading your posts. strange how i feel like i know someone i've never met or even interacted with personally! still, it seems to happen fairly often on boards like these. one of the main reasons i've become rather addicted to them.

you are in my thoughts and i sincerely hope all is well! :heartbeat

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

Hugs and best wishes Ruby.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

​wow! i was quoted on a nurse desk calendar? what was it that i said? i didn't know and no, no residuals!

[Nascar nurse, ASN, RN]

I'm sending you lots of (((((( )))))))) :kiss. I've been reading your posts for as long as I've been on AN. I haven't always agreed, but I have the utmost respect for you as a nurse, and a person.

Same here. I don't always comment. I don't always agree. I ALWAYS read whatever post I see you connected with because you have my utmost respect. Hugs and prayers to you.

I agree with the others - it depends a lot on your relationship with your boss.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

I don't have anything to add except oodles of hugs, Ruby. I hope you feel allll better soon!